What happens to Bazball if Australia wins the Ashes ?

[Flem274*]

Starc will be the difference here.

A lot of the guys Burgey named are medium quicks just like those who England have been belting (albeit 28ish not 48ish). Cummins can also be hit around a bit in ODIs. NZ does not lack Scott Boland, Josh Hazlewood or Michael Neser style bowlers (note the word style okay). Pakistan lack...a coherent selection policy and a single blade of grass on their pitches. England have also had pretty good success Bazballing India and SA, who's attacks are running far better than NZ and Pakistan right now.

But no one has a Starc except for India (Bumrah). There is not much of an aggressive option to 150kph inswinging yorkers. McCullum himself used the scoop on Tait and the charge over cover on Johnson to good effect but got caught up in the moment against Starc, and you can set fields to scoops. Also, frankly, the English top order are just not as good as McCullum was at his own game. They don't have his freakish hand eye.

What has also been noticeable is A) lower order bailouts in the 3-0 against NZ 2022. Top order got snapped. B) they still try to sit on bowlers they respect because they know NZ selection is moronic and Pakistan love a motorway.

Root, Brook and Stokes though can win games off their own bats playing Bazball or playing normally. Their success or failure will drive the Ashes result more than Crawley/Duckett/Pope. That will require Root not playing dickhead reverse sweeps to get out for 48.

So imo Australia are slight favourites because they have the ODI GOAT. Anderson/Broad/Robinson have the talent to negate the top order gap as well.

 

[GIMH]

England only drew 2019 because smith got concussed, but more importantly because the Australian side was basically on the piss for the whole time between the 4th and 5th tests.

Honestly, this is done. It’ll be a pizzling

It was only a draw in 2019 because rain saved you guys from certain defeat at Lord’s

 

[GIMH]

Theoretically Aus should have won 2009 and 2019

Theoretically? Reality says we won two Tests in 2009 and they won one. Either side had the better of the two draws.

England won the key and decisive moments in that series because they were tougher, stronger and more determined cricketers than the weak bunch of B-list wannabes Australia fielded, further evidenced by the CRUSHING England dished out when visiting down under 18 months later.

 

[Sunil1z]

Theoretically? Reality says we won two Tests in 2009 and they won one. Either side had the better of the two draws.

England won the key and decisive moments in that series because they were tougher, stronger and more determined cricketers than the weak bunch of B-list wannabes Australia fielded, further evidenced by the CRUSHING England dished out when visiting down under 18 months later.

In first Test Anderson and Panesar last wkt partnership saved England.

 

[ashley bach]

It's very much in Australia's interest to drop Warner. Don't really care who they replace him with, but anyone is a good start.

 

[Burgey]

Theoretically? Reality says we won two Tests in 2009 and they won one. Either side had the better of the two draws.

England won the key and decisive moments in that series because they were tougher, stronger and more determined cricketers than the weak bunch of B-list wannabes Australia fielded, further evidenced by the CRUSHING England dished out when visiting down under 18 months later.

That crushing was the last time England won a test here wasn’t it? Not a series, a test.

Not one since. Nada. Zip. Takes some front to have a **** at the away record of a team which drew in the Dreary Isles last time out when your own team hasn’t troubled the away series score keepers for 12 years and counting.

There will be kids starting high school this year who haven’t seen England win a test in australia in their life time.

Never mind a series, not one single test.

 

[GIMH]

In first Test Anderson and Panesar last wkt partnership saved England.

Yes, hence England were better and stronger at the key moments. Australia had about 15 overs at Anderson and Panesar and couldn't get them out. That's definitely not a tick in any sort of column for Australia. They were a weak and pathetic outfit.

 

[Socerer 01]

the english media will go ham and tear down everything but other than that i don’t think much will change. maybe Anderson and/or Broad retire, maybe Crawley gets dropped for good, but you may not see big changes to the way they play or players otherwise

 

[GIMH]

That crushing was the last time England won a test here wasn’t it? Not a series, a test.

Not one since. Nada. Zip. Takes some front to have a **** at the away record of a team which drew in the Dreary Isles last time out when your own team hasn’t troubled the away series score keepers for 12 years and counting.

There will be kids starting high school this year who haven’t seen England win a test in australia in their life time.

Never mind a series, not one single test.

Who cares, 0-5, 1-4, 2-3 - they're all defeats. Everyone knows it's winning series that matters in Test Cricket and last time Australia won one in England the iPod hadn't been released, neither had Grand Theft Auto III, the twin towers were still standing.

Here's one for you: there has never been active, in-play discussion of Australia winning a series in England on CW. I mean, pathetic or what.

 

[Burgey]

Yeah but, you see you can’t win series if you don’t win a test. At least one. Sometimes just one. That’s all. It shouldn’t be that difficult over the course of a decade and 15 matches.

Just one.

O N E
N
E

That’s all.

 

[GIMH]

I wasn’t old enough to legally drink when you guys last won a series here and I am OLD

 

[Burgey]

I think England will stick with the aggressive approach even after we whitewash them. Tbh they haven’t the temperament or technique to survive at test level against decent bowlers, so they may as well have a mindless slog. It’s all they know.

 

[GIMH]

I think England will stick with the aggressive approach even after we whitewash them. Tbh they haven’t the temperament or technique to survive at test level against decent bowlers, so they may as well have a mindless slog. It’s all they know.

More chance of you joining the Lib Dems than an Aussie whitewash

 

[Molehill]

Why? Aus has got a better side now than they did then.

Player for player they’re just a better outfit. It won’t be close. Khawaja, Whoever and Marnus **** on England’s top three. Smith is better than Root, Brook and Head will be a good battle between a couple of relative n00bs, especially given Brook has basically not faced anyone close to what Aus will dish up. Stokes is better than Green with the bat but Green is better than him with the ball.

Carey is as good as Foakes.

Cummins is better than everyone, Lyon is better than Leach and the balance of the Aus attack doesn’t need Zimmer frames to run in and bowl.

No attack bowls better on roads than Aus, and their batting is also suited to them. If they prepare seaming decks, Aus will chew up the England line up - Root and Stokes aside they don’t have the technique to cope with actual fast bowling which is doing a bit. They’ve feasted on half rat power attacks on roads. They’ll go at five an over and be routed for about 120 while they do it.

Seriously, this will not be close. It’ll be at worst 3-0 to Aus and I look forward to celebrating the inevitable triumph with a cigar and a cognac in the Connoisseur Room on the Silver Spirit somewhere along the Dalmatian Coast.

Love the faith you have in a team that relies so heavily on 3 players. The openers will be walking wickets and will be retired by the end of the series. Head has a woeful record in County Cricket and Ollie Robinson got a very close up view of how shocking he was. Green is going to be cannon fodder (assuming he's even fit). See off Cummins in the bowling and watch the rest get clattered. England have Archer, Wood, Woakes waiting to come in.......Aus have Boland who's never even been to England.

England were an awful team in 2019 and were basically on a post World Cup high and didn't care. They played the opening Test with only 3 bowlers and no Anderson for whole series. Why on earth will an Aussie team that's now clearly over the hill in so many areas suddenly beat a much improved England team with far more squad depth? This is not in Australia and it's not Root's team.

4-0 with one rained off draw sparing Aussie blushes.

 

[GIMH]

Love the faith you have in a team that relies so heavily on 3 players. The openers will be walking wickets and will be retired by the end of the series. Head has a woeful record in County Cricket and Ollie Robinson got a very close up view of how shocking he was. Green is going to be cannon fodder (assuming he's even fit). See off Cummins in the bowling and watch the rest get clattered. England have Archer, Wood, Woakes waiting to come in.......Aus have Boland who's never even been to England.

England were an awful team in 2019 and were basically on a post World Cup high and didn't care. They played the opening Test with only 3 bowlers and no Anderson for whole series. Why on earth will an Aussie team that's now clearly over the hill in so many areas suddenly beat a much improved England team with far more squad depth? This is not in Australia and it's not Root's team.

4-0 with one rained off draw sparing Aussie blushes.

Well said

 

[Gnske]

Love the faith you have in a team that relies so heavily on 3 players. The openers will be walking wickets and will be retired by the end of the series. Head has a woeful record in County Cricket and Ollie Robinson got a very close up view of how shocking he was. Green is going to be cannon fodder (assuming he's even fit). See off Cummins in the bowling and watch the rest get clattered. England have Archer, Wood, Woakes waiting to come in.......Aus have Boland who's never even been to England.

England were an awful team in 2019 and were basically on a post World Cup high and didn't care. They played the opening Test with only 3 bowlers and no Anderson for whole series. Why on earth will an Aussie team that's now clearly over the hill in so many areas suddenly beat a much improved England team with far more squad depth? This is not in Australia and it's not Root's team.

4-0 with one rained off draw sparing Aussie blushes.

You ever notice how people make a big deal out of mole hills? Like, 'Oh no, there's a mole hill in my garden, what am I gonna do?' It's like, relax buddy, it's just a little mound of dirt. It's not like the moles are building a condo complex or anything. I mean, imagine if people treated everything in life like it was a mole hill. 'Oh no, I got a paper cut, call the paramedics!' 'My shoelace broke, the world is ending!' It's all about perspective, folks. Just keep calm and carry on, even if there's a mole hill in your path

 

[GIMH]

Gnske 3.0 is my favourite yet

 

[Molehill]

You ever notice how people make a big deal out of mole hills? Like, 'Oh no, there's a mole hill in my garden, what am I gonna do?' It's like, relax buddy, it's just a little mound of dirt. It's not like the moles are building a condo complex or anything. I mean, imagine if people treated everything in life like it was a mole hill. 'Oh no, I got a paper cut, call the paramedics!' 'My shoelace broke, the world is ending!' It's all about perspective, folks. Just keep calm and carry on, even if there's a mole hill in your path

You get one molehill in your garden and it soon turns into 9 or 10. Trust me, those little ****ers can recreate the tunneling system from the Great Escape in a week. Take moles seriously or else they'll ruin your life.

 

[Red_Ink_Squid]

cf William of Orange.

 

[Burgey]

Just keep calm and carry on, even if there's a mole hill in your path

or in your brain