Funny Commentary Quotes

[SJS]

In an Ashes match the Australian batsmen were in a big partnership and just as the camera focussed on the English captain scratching himself in the crotch the commentator said " I think, the skipper has a ticklish problem here"

 

[SJS]

In India , the commentators would alternate between the English commentators , usually professionals, and the Hindi commentators , usually related or known to some bureaucrat as the broadcasting at that time was in the Governments hands.

One such Hindi commentator, Mr Joga Rao was covering an England - India test. As Wadekar played an excuisite coverdrive, Joga Rao said to (late) Lala Amarnath, who was the expert, in Hindi ,

" Lalaji, what do you say about this backfoot drive played by Wadekar"

Lala said,live on national hook up, "Joga Rao, that was not a backfoot drive it was a front foot drive, then he added to the flustered Joga Rao , " and it was a wristy shot."

Joga Rao, quick to cover his error said, " Yes Lalaji, I agree with you it was a very 'risky' . Wadekar, should not have played it"

Lala, making a motion with his wrist that listeners, unfortunately couldnt see, "Joga Rao it was not risky, it was wristy, wristy, played with the wrists !"

 

[Tom Halsey]

Hell no. I love listening to Holding's commentary.

There is only one way to describe it:

Smoood.

So do I.

I have a way to say bacon in Jamaican, folks.

Say 'Beer can man', and it sounds like bacon in Jamaican.

 

[Vroomfondel]

Robin Jackman comes up with the statement of the India-Pak series when he comments on the string of chances dropped by India on the final day of the final test:

"There's a misfielding epidemic going around...and it's NOT catching!"

 

[Mad Zimbabwean]

During the England Windies series Gayle was plumb LBW with his bat nowhere and Read stopped the ball so when England appealed Cozier said "And the umpire is just thinking if he got an inside edge...and he's given him caught behind" Then Paul Allott very quietly says "Think he's given him LBW there Tony". Then Cozier says "Oh yes sorry i'm losing the plot aren't I?".

In fact Cozier's got a few classics. During Austrlia vs Windies Ponting lofted a catch to Collymore but Cozier says"In the air that's gone a very long way into the George Headley stand for a max...Oh my goodness gracious Collymore's got it!.You could hear Jeff Thompson Laughing behind him.

 

[chicane]

During the England Windies series Gayle was plumb LBW with his bat nowhere and Read stopped the ball so when England appealed Cozier said "And the umpire is just thinking if he got an inside edge...and he's given him caught behind" Then Paul Allott very quietly says "Think he's given him LBW there Tony". Then Cozier says "Oh yes sorry i'm losing the plot aren't I?".

In fact Cozier's got a few classics. During Austrlia vs Windies Ponting lofted a catch to Collymore but Cozier says"In the air that's gone a very long way into the George Headley stand for a max...Oh my goodness gracious Collymore's got it!.You could hear Jeff Thompson Laughing behind him.

Even in the '92 WC Final - "And it's gone high in the air and brilliantly held but dropped."

 

[Sehwag309]

"And there's Graham Gooch, at second slip, with his legs apart, waiting for a tickle."

 

[honestbharani]

One of the few Sidhu comments I liked...



Knowing without doing is like sowing without reaping.......



IT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE.......

 

[chicane]

Well not a commentary quote, but very funny nonethless. For those who aren't aware, Sidhu used to be in the ESPN-star commentary team along with Geoffery Boycott, and the two were travelling together in a car. Geoffery has a huge crush on Shilpa Shetty, an Indian actress, and started talking about her. Sidhu came up with another Sidhuism - 'The last time you celebrated your birthday, the candles cost more than the cake!'. Geoffery was stunned but still managed to laugh. Another one - Geoffery was leading Sidhu in super-selector and was teasing Sidhu on how unlucky he was, to which Sidhu replied - 'Your'e so unlucky that if you were tossed into a barrel full of nipples, you'll come out sucking your thumb!'. Of course all this was light-hearted and Geoffery saw the funny side.

 

[Sudeep]

The Botham "leg over" incident or another Johnner's classic.

Horton has a funny stance, it looks liking he's shitting on a sooting stick.

...and this everyone, was Marc's first post on Cricket Web.

EDIT: Digged up by Adam

 

[Son Of Coco]

Actually I found today that there is a special site dedicated to Sidhu.

www.sidhuisms.com

The "Cat on a hot tin roof", "fat lad sings" etc are not his.........not all the comments attributed to Sidhu are made up by the man himself.

 

[Son Of Coco]

Merv Hughes, unhappy with the English field placings, says, while Stewart runs off to fetch the ball, "they've dispensed with the keeper now, he's gone down to third man".

Mohinder Amarnath's "he uprooted the offstump out of the ground!".

Sidhu saying "clean as a whisker", and on being told it's "whistle", not "whisker", shutting up for a whole five minutes.

Kris Srikkanth's "squire cut", and his reference to the Indian team as "us"...

haha Merv would be a great commentator!

 

[Barney Rubble]

Few funny ones from this summer:

Flintoff hits a big six during his innings of 167 at Edgbaston, Mark Nicholas goes "YABBA-DABBA-DOOOOOO!" - not that funny, but it made him sound like a real idiot. You could hear stifled laughter from Dermot Reeve in the combox with him.

Nicholas again:
"Lara needs a wicket here, he's turned to Coreymore Colly...ha ha, sorry, I mean Corey Collymore", Mike Atherton replies "I though you were talking about the new Scottish seamer, Corey McColly" (the "more" bit was kind of mumbled when Nicholas said it)

Richie Benaud:
(Harmison hits Jermaine Lawson for four) "Lawson won't like that."
(Harmison does it again) "He'll like that even less!"
(Harmison hits him for six) (completely deadpan) "He'll hate that."

Nicholas: "Dwayne Bravo is similar to you, Dermot, in that he thinks a lot about his bowling, he's a very intelligent cricketer."
Reeve: "Well, thank you, Mark, but Dwayne Bravo's only played three tests, and I think he'll go on to get a lot more test wickets than I did."
Nicholas: "He already has, hasn't he?"

Also have to put in a mention (it's not commentary but it was damn funny) to Freddie Flintoff at Lord's this year, with Tino Best facing Ashley Giles: "Mind the windows, Tino!" two balls later, Best dances halfway down the wicket, misses and is stumped.

 

[Dar]

Some Sidhu ones:

"The fielders need to be on their toes like midgets at the urinals"

"Statistics are like miniskirts, what they reveal is always suggestive"

"Umpires seem to be changing as often as nappies, and often for the same reason"


The last one is the best

 

[Dar]

Bob Willis always makes me laugh with his brutal criticism in a monotonous voice.

"So far its been complete garbage from Peterson, i think that was one of the worst overs i've ever seen in test cricket"

"They should tell Rikki Clarke, thanky you very much now get back on the motorway back to Surrey"

 

[sahuman]

Years ago in a test match, Tiger Patudi was scoring at a snail's pace. After he had played out the fourth successive maiden, Indian commentator Bobby Talyarkhan blurted out - "Tiger Pataudi is 99 short of his century".

 

[sahuman]

Dean Jones and Robin Jackman were discussing the future of cricket - where you would need players with multiple skills - including the ability to throw the ball with either hand.

Deano recalled a quote from Merv Hughes- "you've got to be amphibious if you can throw with either hand."

Big Merv was a big toad really.

 

[sahuman]

Ravi Shastri related an anecdote from one of his previous commentating stints in Sri Lanka. One of his co-commentators then was a former great Aussie fast bowler, known as much for his irreverence as his great speed.

Local hero Marvan Atapattu had reached a Test double hundred, and the camera picked up his parents in the stands. The Aussie great was flummoxed when the TV producer asked him to provide some colour, not knowing the names of Attapattu’s parents, but that did not stop him from coming up with this gem: “Joining in Atapattu’s happiness and celebration are Mamapattu and Papapattu.”

 

[thirdumpire]

LILLIE CAUGHT DILLIE BOWLED WILLIE

This actually happened, England vs Australia. The commentator kept repeating it over and over , i could swear once he mumbled "... by the willie"

 

[la28]

"He looks like a little kid in a strip club"
-Navjot Singh Sidhu watching a debutant batting