Not been a good few days for Countess Wear, then - as the following story tells...
Bank Holiday Monday: Exeter St James Six-a-side
Sherborne Old Boys 78-1 [5]
Exeter III 38 [4.4] - Pickup 16 (5)
We're called Exeter thirds. Fundamentally, we're Exeter fifths, or in terms of strength of side we could feasibly enter in a six a side tournament, we're more like eighths. The average age is 14 and a half, it's only that high because I'm 20, and one of us is eleven. At least the draw is kind enough for us to avoid the Village VI, who've won this the last three years, and Budleigh Salterton, who've picked their overseas pro.
We, nevertheless, did draw Sherborne OB, who've been the runners-up for the last three years. We start reasonably well with the ball until our last two overs go for 41. I decide to reconsider the idea of keeping wicket whilst the 11-year-old bowls - we're both likely to go at 20 per over bowling leggies, but at least my spirits won't be crushed. In reply, things didn't go well. At all.
I came to the crease after 3.4 of our five overs, after Matt (13) was given out caught having fended a beamer off his head - the scoreboard read 22/3, and we needed 57 from 8 balls. I hit my first ball for four through midwicket, and the next went over the keeper for two. The first ball of the final over saw a brilliant catch from slip, diving away to take a skier after a long run, which left me facing with 51 needed off five. One went for four over midwicket and then I hit my first ever six. Of all the places I could have hit it in, it was driven over cover from - as every shot I played was - two steps down the track. It's not how I expected to finally record a maximum, but I wasn't complaining. Unfortunately, I then got cleaned up.
Exeter St James Colts 70-2 [5]
Exeter III 48-1 [5] - T Miller 25*
This time our last three overs only cost 30 between them; unfortunately the damage had already been done as ESJ were 40-0 after two. My first ball of the tournament thudded straight into leg stump, much to the surprise of everyone, and my over only costs eight. Two streaky fours off the final deliveries push the opposition up to 70.
I was persuaded to open after my fireworks against Sherborne - my first ball pitched back of a length and hit leg stump via my right ankle to record my thirteenth duck, fourth golden and first diamond. As I reflected on my walk back, there's not much you can do with a grubber when your entire game plan consists of launching the ball wherever your swing takes it. 11-year-old Theo batted through the innings to make 25*, including some great footwork and hard hits through midwicket. Still, it wasn't not a win - or even close - and it's not much fun losing...
Countess Wear 68-1 [5]
Exeter III 69-2 [4.5] - M Miller 23*, Thomson 20, Pickup 12* (4)
The first 15 balls of the CW innings cost just 17 runs, and yielded a run out as they made the mistake of taking on Theo's arm from the boundary. Unfortunately the last 15 balls cost precisely three times as many, and despite my over being on a much 'better' length and line than against the ESJ side, it cost 20 including two giant sixes over the legside. Still, it was just 14 per over, and if we got off to a start, then of course we could get it. I wasn't sure whether I was trying harder to convince myself or the other players, but I didn't let on. Like I'd said to Matt earlier, if you don't think you've got a chance of winning, then you might as well go home.
We got off to a start. Hugh (14) cut the first ball through point, and after three overs we were 42 without loss through a combination of big hits and bigger edges - but Hugh fell for 20, holing out, to the first ball of the fourth over, and we only managed nine from it. Six balls left, and eighteen were needed. I'd done it against SOB earlier, I told the others, so we could do it again. Pete nicked the next ball to the keeper. 18 off 5. It wasn't impossible. "All or nothing", I told Matt as I walked out to the middle.
Trusting the down-the-pitch approach again, I hit my first ball straight to long-on - who completely misjudged it, came in several steps too far and watched it sail over his head for four. Still alive. The next ball caught a thick inside edge and sped away through backward square for four more - ten off three. The next ball caught an even thicker edge - of the outside variety this time - and bounced twice on its way to the third man boundary. I can't remember exactly what I said to Matt after that ball, but it was sufficiently unprintable for me to apologise immediately afterwards...
Six needed off two. The next ball was wider, outside off stump and my swing failed to connect with anything but fresh air. However, I think the blast wave put the wicketkeeper off, and we scrambled two byes before an overthrow gifted us a third. One ball, three needed. I set off running at the moment the bowler released the ball, and was virtually at the striker's end by the time it met the keeper's gloves. Unfortunately for CW, the ball was again wide outside off stump - too wide, in fact - and wides cost three. We'd done it.
My batting yield for the day was ten balls faced, 28 runs scored, five fours and a six. In one of those wonderful statistical oddities that cricket so often hurls up, Shahid Afridi had an identical return for Pakistan in the Twenty20 clash with England.
ESJ Colts lost to Village in the first semi-final, but not before making 62 and allowing us to feel better about conceding 70, before Sherborne shocked Budleigh Salterton - even with their Aussie (who had taken 6 6 6 6 6 4 off an over against Coaver in the groups - the four bounced about three yards from the boundary) and set up a repeat of the 2005 final. And the 2004 final. And the 2003 final. And Village won again.