Sadly, a group of five CSIRO scientists invented wifi, which means ****wits like you can post **** like that from almost anywhere in the world, even Chennai.
Those same five genii are currently working on a portable sense of humour which they're hoping to export your way soon. **** knows, you need it.
Among Australia's other contributions to the world, which have largely come about due to the natural advantages this great island continent enjoys as per my post which you kindly quoted, are:
The notepad - I don't mean the cheap, portable computers you lot churn out over there at forty bucks a pop using underpaid child labour, I mean the note pad people write on.
The self-propelled stump-jump plough
The surf ski
The tank
Allan Border
The Rotary Hoe
The Dethridge Wheel
Zinc Cream - copied by pretender cricket nations ever since
The Electronic Pacemaker (subsequently installed extensively into Indian cricketers in an attempt to make up for their own cardiac failings). It's a little known fact the pacemaker was originally modelled on Allan Border's ticker, but when placed into the chest cavity of normal human beings not named Peter Siddle, it caused their hearts to explode. Thereafter, a scaled down model went into widespread production.
The coupe utility
Penicillin - the Poms claim this, but everyone knows it was Florey who found the medicinal use for it. Otherwise, we'd all just sit around looking at it saying "What's this fungus?"
Splayds
The orbital internal combustion engine
Plastic glasses lenses.
Ricky Ponting
The Hills Hoist
Solar hot water. Not real helpful in England, but handy elsewhere
Power boards. Seriously, top five inventions of the 20th century. Up there with the powered golf cart.
Super soppers - it's a scientific fact that before this Australian invention, no cricket had ever been played in England or New Zealand.
Inflatable escape slides, invented primarily to allow people to escape from your company at dinner parties.
The black box flight recorder
The bionic ear, which usefully has an "off" switch so umpires can avoid listening to Indian cricketers appeal every ball
Dual flush toilets (later adapted to triple flush, with "half", "full" and "honestbharani" levels of faecal flushing power)
Sonar - often used on submarines, but also to try and locate the Indian cricket supporter's sense of humour, apparently lost at the bottom of the Marianas Trench (not the Indy rock band, the actual Marianas Trench).
Frozen Embryo Babies.
Ryan Harris
Ryan Harris' artifical knees
The baby safety capsule - plainly developed too late to prevent your closed head injury as a youngster
The polymer bank note - favoured by illegal Indian bookmakers the world over
The Frazier Lens - has enormous depth of field and can therefore spot a long running sitcom from miles away
Jindalee Radar System
The electric drill
Google Maps
Richie Benaud
Spray-on skin for burns victims
The ultrasound scanner
The boomerang
Pre-paid postage
The fridge
Powered flight
The wine cask (aka the Mooree Handbag)
Cervical Cancer Vaccine
A blood test to prevent stillbirth (there's such a good line there at your expense, but I won't go there)
The digital sampler (yep, we're to blame for techno. Sorry,everyone)
Anti-flu vaccines
Stop shot glass.
And these are just the inventions, not the greats from the field of artistic endeavour who have blazed a trail across the world, leaving the rest of the cricket playing nations in their wake. Our contributions are legion, for they are many. You just need to accept these things mate. It's ok. Really. It is.
:P
