Why do England struggle to produce undisputedly great players?

[Burgey]

Evidence?

Good from you.

 

[Burgey]

Shakib might make Australia's 5th AT XI if he was lucky.

I don't mean to disparage the bloke because he's been a good player for his country and by their standards a bloody exceptional one, but I don't see how that's in anyway feasible.

 

[Red]

Always up for the challenge:

Trumper
Morris
Bradman
G.Chappell
Miller
Harvey
Gilchrist
Lindwall
Warne
Lillee
McGrath


Simpson
Lawry
Ponting
McCabe
Border
S.Waugh
Healy
Davidson
CTB Turner
OReilly
Johnston


Woodful
Hayden
I.Chappell
Macartney
Walters
Hassett
Marsh
Spofforth
McDermott
Grimmett
Thomson


Barnes
Jackson
Bardsley
Hill
Hussey
Giffen
Benaud
Trumble
Oldfield
Johnson
McKenzie

 

[Burgey]

You're up to four and still no Mailey or MacGill as spinners.

Your first XI omission of TOTAB detracts enormously from an otherwise very well thought through post tbh.

 

[mr_mister]

you forgot the Victa Lawnmower burge, the first one-man push operated mower

 

[Burgey]

Good point.

It's a little known fact that we also built the first Sydney Harbour Bridge.

 

[Adders]

Quiet day at the office Burgey?............do some ****ing work and justify that $250 p/h you're billing some poor ****!!

 

[vcs]

How many visiting quicks have had the sort of series Anderson had in Australia in 2010/11?
How many quicks have been cited by an opposition captain as the difference in a series win in India?
How many quicks have gone to the UAE and produced the figures Anderson managed to in 2015?

Amongst his contemporaries, the answer is nobody.

Tthat's not true, Steyn's done all those things, more or less. He was the difference in Perth in 2012, broke the back of Australia's batting in the first innings of the deciding game when SA had a lowish total on board. He won them a game in 2008 also IIRC (the one where Ponting made a 100 and a 99). He's definitely done more than Anderson in India. Also helped SA bundle out Pakistan cheaply in the first innings of the match they won in 2013 (along with Tahir). Apart from that, he's also won them a game in Sri Lanka (again around 2014).

 

[Burgey]

Quiet day at the office Burgey?............do some ****ing work and justify that $250 p/h you're billing some poor ****!!

$500 plus GST, I'll have you know. Don't sell me short ffs

 

[cnerd123]

Things Shakib Al Hasan has accomplished that no other Australian ever has:

- Taken 7 wickets in an innings against New Zealand
- A hundred and a five-for in the same test twice (no Aussie has done it more than once)
- Average >50 with the bat and <30 with the ball against the West Indies
- Take 100 wickets in Tests as a left arm spinner
- Hold the world Number 1 Allrounder Ranking in all three formats

Richie Benaud scored 3 centuries and took 16 five wicket hauls in 63 tests. Shakib has 3 centuries and 14 five wicket hauls in just 42. And he's got a couple of tests coming up at home against England - a side that wishes they could produce a player of half his quality. And he's only 29.

If Shakib was unfortunate enough to be an Aussie, you'd be all over him.

 

[Adders]

I'd like to know how a diet of four n twenty pies and dagwood dogs is more conducive to producing ATG cricketers than Yorkshire Pudding and fish and chips.

 

[Zinzan]

You're up to four and still no Mailey or MacGill as spinners.

Or Monty Noble

 

[Burgey]

I'd like to know how a diet of four n twenty pies and dagwood dogs is more conducive to producing ATG cricketers than Yorkshire Pudding and fish and chips.

Thank you Adders, I'm glad you asked.

There are a number of anatomical and scientific reasons why this is so.

Firstly, Australians, owing to thousands of years of exposure to such a wonderful country and climate, are genetically disposed to exercising longer and harder than those from other countries. This means that when they eat the food you mentioned, albeit only at Royal Show time anyway, they burn the excess fat off with ease as they kick their seventh goal of the arvo or rack up their 30th over in a spell/ triple ton depending on the season. In England, by way of contrast, everyone eats Yorkshire Pud and fish and chips for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, and they have a **** climate where no one goes outside because there's only daylight for 45 minutes. As a result, they don't produce great cricketers.

 

[Adders]

Ftr ive never eaten a yorkshire pudding nor fish n chips for breakfast.........why would you when thats the time for pork sausages (aussies wouldnt know a decent "snag" if one banged them up the arse) black pudding, kippers, oh and of course baked beans.

Edit:

PS, I'd like you to pass on my thanks to whatever client of yours has been paying you to regale us in this thread today. It was completely dire until your input and the last pages have been very entertaining. Top work Burgey.

 

[Burgey]

Adders, I see where you're coming from, but all of those dishes you've mentioned are simply examples of the same malaise which effects all Englishmen.

I know you're out here now in the land of milk and honey (and red and white meat and fresh fruit and veg and red and white wine in abundance), so I think it's time you got on board.

You could be an interesting anthropological experiment. We all know if you took an Indian and fed him a couple of steaks and taught him to snarl at a batsman then he'd turn into a decent fast bowler. Not Australian-good, but ok The question is, if you begin going outside now you're in a place where there's sunshine and start eating like an Australian, will you make England's ATG side?

IMO no, but I think you'll be well in the discussion. Only Hobbs and Botham would keep you out.

 

[Burgey]

And the only reason I say no is because you're starting too late. If you'd started in your teens you'd have been a lock.

 

[cnerd123]

Things Shakib Al Hasan has accomplished that no other Australian ever has:

- Taken 7 wickets in an innings against New Zealand
- A hundred and a five-for in the same test twice (no Aussie has done it more than once)
- Average >50 with the bat and <30 with the ball against the West Indies
- Take 100 wickets in Tests as a left arm spinner
- Hold the world Number 1 Allrounder Ranking in all three formats

Richie Benaud scored 3 centuries and took 16 five wicket hauls in 63 tests. Shakib has 3 centuries and 14 five wicket hauls in just 42. And he's got a couple of tests coming up at home against England - a side that wishes they could produce a player of half his quality. And he's only 29.

If Shakib was unfortunate enough to be an Aussie, you'd be all over him.

No response from Burgey to this.

ITSTL

 

[mr_mister]

because you've just picked a bunch of random countries he did well against and propped that up as meaningful

if he did so good against NZ and Windies - surely he must have done poorly against two other top teams to even out his overall average?

 

[Shri]

Susshh.

 

[cnerd123]

because you've just picked a bunch of random countries he did well against and propped that up as meaningful

if he did so good against NZ and Windies - surely he must have done poorly against two other top teams to even out his overall average?

Shakib has a five-wicket haul against every side he has played a Test against.

He's also really well balanced everywhere he plays:

In Africa - 26.9 with the bat, 26.57 with the ball
In Americas - 53 with the bat (The same as Allan Border ftr), 18.76 with the ball
In Asia - 41 with the bat, 35 with the ball
In Oceania - 78 with the bat, 59 with the ball

His only blip is in Europe - 13 with the bat and 34 with the ball. But that's probably because a stud like him was too distracted by the fine ladies of the British-Bengali community to focus on playing a second-rate side like England.