I recommend this exercise to other NZ fans. I felt so much better afterwards!
My 6 biggest disappointments (NZ's tour so far, May 3 - June 10):
6) Chris Cairns
Wasn't your palm greased just to go on this tour, chiefly as a bowler! You got into some good form with the ball against SA but it made you feel sore, and now the others are too hapless to let you chime in with a spell here and there.
Let's just say your farewell test won't be quite as sad as I thought, because ODIs are clearly where your head-space and body now belongs. Considering what lesser talents like Twose, Harris etc. have managed as specialists, who knows? Perhaps blazing partnerships between you and Ross Taylor will be the key to us winning the 2007 World Cup.
5) Scott Styris
I've often thought you get the best view of a batsman's culture in English conditions.
I actually had high hopes for Styris (or Scott Stylish, as one of the West Indian commentators took to calling him), but I'm starting to think he and McMillan would rather be back at Eden Park, slugging a few homers.
"I'm really unlucky that I'm nicking everything" he said in his column recently. Well, actually that's because bowlers over there get swing even when the middle-order are batting, and following it with your hands is kind of a no-no....
4) Chris Martin
Left for England as NZ's Winsor Cup winner and mentioning aspirations of a county cricket contract. Was called a gentle trundler by several UK scribes, and then proceeded to bowl like one, which sadly will do nothing to quell the wags at my club who always insisted he's too delicate to last as a professional sportsman. "Look at those pat-a-cake celebrations!".
Personally, I wouldn't have minded a lot more of those pat-a-cake celebrations. Martin admits to having trouble with the Duke brand of ball, but he really needs a McGrath or a Pollock to add weight to that excuse.
3) Black Caps management
Have copped the most flak of anyone in the NZ media, a lot of it unjustly. Those claiming Butler should've been there from the start shows how poorly informed the rug...sorry, sports media are in NZ, given Butler was having surgery at roughly the time the plane was departing. Others claiming NZ shot themselves in the foot by not taking more than 14 players should also note that the 14th member of the squad (Kyle Mills) has bowled just 25 f/c overs in the last 5 weeks. If James Franklin had been in the intial squad, he'd be heading into the test at Trent Bridge with even less than that, and is probably glad he's spent each weekend bowling in club cricket rather than the nets every day.
Despite all this, there is some scope for questioning here. Like why was a spinner not one of the players stationed at a club in the UK? Is Vettori that much of a talent these days that he'll either play or we'll go in with no spinner at all?
2) Daryl Tuffey
It's hard to have a go at a trier. It's easy to have a go at a liar!
That basically sums up my dilemma here. There shouldn't be anything macho about representing your country IMO - regardless of the coach saying you're going to be his spearhead, or the fact every kid dreams of doing it. If you're not fit and you know it, it's ultimately up to you to stand down. It's not soft, it's not pessimistic, it's just smart.
1) Shane Bond
The real heartbreaker obviously. Damn Ashley Ross for saying he's new and improved! Damn Bracewell for saying he was on course for the second test, then on course for the tri-series, now on course for.....
