Well, in the perverse universe in which I choose to exist, a place where getting slapped means that, deep down, a bird really fancies you, a place where it's healthier to smoke in a pub because you're getting it through the filter whereas all those stupid non-smokers are passively smoking unprotected, a place where the sacking of Mike Ruddock was actually a cunning plan to ensure that Wales win the 2007 rugby World Cup - yes, in this universe, I actually had quite a good result today, despite, on paper at least, being smeared out of sight like the last tear on a child's cheek, when you admit that you were only joking when you said you'd electrocuted their kitten!
You probably wouldn't agree with me, when I tell you the bald facts, which are Cymru Gurgitaters 235 A/O (47.1), Crawley Rovers 236/0, (40.5), but pray, allow me to present the case for the defence.
I was on TIE, as I knew I had no chance whatsoever of winning, even if I'd GFIed. And I'd set my team up to forget scoring quickly or taking wickets, with the solitary ambition of trying to keep the game going for as long as possible, thus minimising the damage to my NRR.
So, in this, admittedly rather narrow sense, the result was a success! Despite losing my mint batsman Staveley for 3, as well as Haldane for 15 and Dunfield for 32, all before the hundred was up, Skipper Patel and Wickie Carless rallied with a partnership of 89, which raised morale to such an extent that I fleetingly and stupidly even allowed myself to contemplate the notion of victory. But when Carless was out for 37 (40), the whole deck of cards collapsed, and I lost my last seven wickets for 49, to finish up on 235 A/O, (RR4.7). Skipper Patel was the penultimate man out, recording his maiden 'Gurs' half century with a patient 70 (108)
The bowling wasn't pretty, but I guess it did a job! I allowed my two high Resp Opening quicks the luxury of being set to normal aggression, which was, in hindsight a mistake, but I'd thought that they might just be good enough to nick one or two wickets...I was wrong! But No Matter! - In the event, The first fifteen went for 113, with the normally dependable Edworthy shipping 37 off his seven, and the improving Bewers having his progress checked with 5.5/0/49/0. However, the other three were set to Defensive or V.Defensive, and whilst there are paraplegic octogenarians who would have stood a better than evens chance of coming closer to claiming a wicket, they did at least do an Imodium-like job of drying the runs up. Burke was passable, especially given his recent form, Returning with 10/0/56/0, Atherton-Ham would probably rather forget his debut, but wasn't terrible for 10/0/53/0 - But once again the pick of the bowlers was Mullins! I don't care if he's in league with the Devil, the boy has got something! With everyone else considering themselves lucky if they got away with under six-an-over, Mullins parted his supposedly senior partners' butt cheeks, and rammed up figures of 8/1/33/0, recording the only maiden of the innings in the process.
So, Eventually they did make it to the winning post, reaching 236/0 in 40.5 - Which translates to a RR of 5.76 - And a mercifully light defeat for the 'Gurs' of NRR1.06. If you're still not convinced of the heroism of this performance, consider it against the backdrop of the match ratings!
Cymru Gurgitaters
Crawley Rovers
Top Order:
competent
remarkable
Middle Order:
competent
proficient
Lower Order:
abysmal
abysmal
Seam Bowling:
competent
proficient
Spin Bowling:
mediocre
proficient
Fielding:
feeble
Mediocre
I did shudder reading their ratings, but on the plus side I was also pretty impressed with mine, considering I was on TIE. But looking at the other ratings in my league, and going on what you guys have posted today, I wouldn't mind betting that a little bug has slipped in the Battrick computer somewhere, as ratings generally seem to be spookily high today. Oh yes, and I did sell out my ground again, so a much-needed £90k heading my way.
I'm thinking of putting Burke on the transfer market to see if I can get silly money for him, blinding the uninitiated with his Resp tag, and artificially good career stats after a lazy walkover season in Div V last campaign. Might start the bidding at £150k - I don't think he's worth that, but stranger things have happened on the transfer market of late, and it's not as though I really need or want to sell him unless the price is right.
YP time tomorrow, and I have a lovely bag of 40 ITS sweeties with which to lure a fresh-faced youngster into my team minibus! BTW, with a Prof academy, can I use all forty on a trainee of any age? And if so what age would that be?
Have a nice weekend, Later, Trev