Man Alive, This weekend couldn't have been more nervous if I'd suffered a dickey stomach after accepting a squid vol-au-vent from a man with a glowing bottle of vodka and a Bond baddy accent!
Friday saw my worst bowling performance for two seasons, as I shipped 313, on a Flat pitch, after my attempt to change from anything but H+F went disastrously wrong. In reply I'd read up as far as 175/2 after 30 in my response, when the server went goofy and locked me out until this morning. At the time of our parting, Staveley and Patel had given us a fighting chance with 65 and 68 respectively at a good lick, but both had perished in the slog-fest, and now the enigmatic Greening was thirty-odd not out and the hapless Bennett had just come in, set to Def, as a Stam buffer ahead of keeper Noon and all-rounder Cash.
All weekend I feared the worst - Had Greening's Conc proved his downfall? as it has on so many occasions before - Did Bennett for once manage to stick rigidly to his orders? dobbing along at a S/R of 50% while the RRR spiralled out of control like petrol prices? - Not even getting stuck up the attic when my daughter nicked the step-ladder, or the dog stripping the Christmas tree I'd just spent an hour and a half dressing could take my mind off the match! But I needn't have worried! No collapses for me thank you very much! It turns out that I won with two overs to spare, without losing another wicket! Bennett stayed true to form by completely ignoring my orders, to romp home with 70* off 58, and Greening continued to fulfil some of his true potential, with his third century of the season, 110* (93)
And in my continued absence, I also had a pretty straight forward friendly win over Mark. Verde struck a gutsy 59 (68), supported by thirties from Macmahon and Mosheua, but dangerman Kenny was stumped first ball and the tail wagged like a dead Labrador in a stagnant pond, to leave AA For President 40 or 50 runs short of a par total on a Slow pitch, on 191 A/O. Staveley and Cash then carved up Mark's bowlers, overhauling half of the arrears inside twenty overs, before Cash got too ****y for his own good in pursuit of a maximum to bring up his half-century, hitting a lofted catch straight to Mosheua off Verde for a run-a-ball 44. Keeper Noon at No.3 struggled against the left-armers Verde and Bissell, stumbling through a brisk but streaky 31 before having his leg-stump uprooted on the sweep by The A's most impressive bowler, RHS Lepolesa.
(Actually, while I remember, I'm going to ask something. Do we know for a fact that the commentary doesn't bear any relation to the match engine? Or is it just something we suspect? I know that there was a question in one of the Q&As about so-called "Dynamic Commentary", but Noon's innings yesterday had me wondering if this might have already started without us knowing. There were about a dozen references in commentary from the LFM and LM to Noon, about Noon edging into the slips and struggling with the ball moving across him etc etc, and even one about the ball not having come back far enough for an LBW shout- Pretty much as you might expect from a left-arm seamer bowling over the wicket to a RH batsman in RL cricket. Guess this could just be coincidence, but spooky all the same!)
Anyway, the fall of the second wicket brought The Gurs' two best batsmen together, and Greening and Staveley made light work of the outstanding runs. Staveley ran out of road for a ton, walking off with 94* to his name from 102 deliveries, while Greening wetted the appetite for the forth-coming league matches against the top two in IV.11, with a delicious cameo of 18*, including a six out of the ground.
Nice Ratings too:
Cymru Gurgitaters AA for President!
Top Order:
Respectable competent
Middle Order:
Respectable mediocre
Lower Order:
Abysmal woeful
Seam Bowling:
Respectable competent
Spin Bowling:
Proficient mediocre
Fielding:
Feeble feeble
Oh and Mark, I'm not really sure how to put this without sounding patronising, but sorry it wasn't a very interesting or competitive match. I had intended to try and pick a side which would have matched up pretty close to your ratings, but with the outage hitting, I couldn't get in to change things around and it went with my default orders.
Have two more free Sundays before returning to my friendly league, and I'd really like to play two of Jamie, Andy, or either of the Robs. Partly because I've never played any of you before, and partly because I think we'd have really close match-ups and exciting games.
Two pops in training today. Bennett's consistency went to Comp, which is a bit irritating considering it's going to cost me £30 P/W and rising for a Wor bowler! But much better news for Greening, whose Conc has finally been dragged up to Comp, making him an altogether more serious prospect, even if there is still plenty of work to do on him.
Doug Greening (334385)
RH Batsman, RF Bowler, superb batting form, superb bowling form, energetic
A steady player with feeble leadership skills and woeful experience.
Table with 2 columns and 6 rows
Plays For: Cymru Gurgitaters
Nationality: England
Age: 20 Years Old
Battrick Rating: 23,275 (+456)
Wages: £5,921 p/w
*
table end
Table with 4 columns and 4 rows
Stamina: competent Wicket Keeping: woeful
Batting: quality Concentration: competent
Bowling: abysmal Consistency: woeful
Fielding: proficient
Oh and Rob! Is the layout of this any better? I've gone through it and manually deleted the line breaks. If so, will you reward me with a friendly?
Later, Trev