***Official*** Australia in South Africa + South Africa in Australia 2016/17

[Red]

Albo is my local MP and a genuinely good bloke to boot.

Everybody loves Albo. You can't spell Labor without Albo.

I had a piss at a urinal at a gig and Albo was next to me. We chatted about You Am I for a bit.

 

[Burgey]

Dont forget the lip gloss. No media can pick it up if you put on lip gloss and rub it on the ball. Vaseline would do also. How about putting some hair gel? I mean Afridi always has his fingers brushing his hair after every ball for no reason right

Yeah I used to put some chaminda (Vaseline) in my pocket and shine the ball with it, but then they brought in the rule where the umpire gets the ball after every wicket.

Here's a genuine question. A couple of weeks ago we went off for a rain delay. I had the ball and did what I always do when it's wet and there's a delay - stuck it in the pie oven for ten minutes in the canteen. Ball dries and goes as hard as a rock. Is that ball tampering or not? All I did was dry it.

It's a trick I've used for years. If the ball is really wet you push the soft seam together before putting it in the oven. When it dries it's about a 1/4 inch high and jags everywhere once you go back on the field. Down side is the ball can burn your hands when you're bowling if you're not careful.

 

[Starfighter]

Here's a genuine question. A couple of weeks ago we went off for a rain delay. I had the ball and did what I always do when it's wet and there's a delay - stuck it in the pie oven for ten minutes in the canteen. Ball dries and goes as hard as a rock. Is that ball tampering or not? All I did was dry it.

It's a trick I've used for years. If the ball is really wet you push the soft seam together before putting it in the oven. When it dries it's about a 1/4 inch high and jags everywhere once you go back on the field. Down side is the ball can burn your hands when you're bowling if you're not careful.

I used a hand dryer in a similar situation a few weeks ago. Combined with a towel and not only was the ball dry but it was nearly as shiny as when it was new. I play last grade so the poor fool who had volunteered to umpire wouldn't didn't have a clue. He and and several of my own team mates noticed that the ball seemed unusually warm, but no one seemed to peg what I'd done!

I was only using a towel, which is legal, and hot air, which is the same as regular air, which last time I checked wasn't a banned substance.

 

[Burgey]

The pie oven, if available, seriously does it so well. Over the years I've tried a microwave (seam popped open), normal oven (too long to heat up) and the engine bay of a car (forgot where I put the ****ing thing).

 

[adub]

My game was to take advantage of my pale complexion to have **** loads of sunscreen on, especially along my forehead, and then park myself at mid off so I got the ball to work on as the bowler went back to his mark. Could load up one side like a bitch. Wish I had a pie oven though...

But if I ever got pinged I would have put my hand up and say it's a fair cop (and try and hide it better next time). So harden the **** up saffers. You were trying it on like everyone does, but this time you got caught. Cop it on the chin and move on you whiney little bitches.

 

[adub]

The new pill that had been a few days in the freezer was always a popular choice.

 

[adub]

The pie oven, if available, seriously does it so well. Over the years I've tried a microwave (seam popped open), normal oven (too long to heat up) and the engine bay of a car (forgot where I put the ****ing thing).

This is why every apprentice must choose his master with care.

 

[Starfighter]

The pie oven, if available, seriously does it so well. Over the years I've tried a microwave (seam popped open), normal oven (too long to heat up) and the engine bay of a car (forgot where I put the ****ing thing).

Nah, I don't generally have a pie oven available. The hand dryer works pretty damn well, but you need about 15 minutes to get a really good result. Polishing with a towel while drying will also bring up the shine to a wonderful extent, but it takes some effort.
Lol at you trying to microwave the ball

Also I do love the effect of a re-dried seam on the ball. Sure bites on the pitch, and your own hands.

 

[Starfighter]

The new pill that had been a few days in the freezer was always a popular choice.

Haven't heard this one before (prolly a bit young). What's the effect?

My game was to take advantage of my pale complexion to have **** loads of sunscreen on, especially along my forehead, and then park myself at mid off so I got the ball to work on as the bowler went back to his mark. Could load up one side like a bitch. Wish I had a pie oven though...

I find zinc oxide based sunscreen works the best. It's little stickier and more viscous and gives a better polish. I generally avoid putting sunscreen on the ball now because I sweat a lot and the sweat-sunscreen mixture wreaks havoc on my ability to grip the ball, especially when new or newish.
I hate the guys who apply a lot of spit and then don't rub the ball properly. It makes the ball damp and sticky and you can't shine damp leather.

 

[TheJediBrah]

Haven't heard this one before (prolly a bit young). What's the effect?


I find zinc oxide based sunscreen works the best. It's little stickier and more viscous and gives a better polish. I generally avoid putting sunscreen on the ball now because I sweat a lot and the sweat-sunscreen mixture wreaks havoc on my ability to grip the ball, especially when new or newish.
I hate the guys who apply a lot of spit and then don't rub the ball properly. It makes the ball damp and sticky and you can't shine damp leather.

Taking a massive phelgmy spit on the ball, leaving it there and then chucking it to the next guy in the field is a tradition m8

 

[Burgey]

Yep. Or leaving a boogie on it.

 

[social]

I find the whole lolly/mint thing a bit weird as you'd think it would make the ball sticky

Zinc, hair gel and sweat was easy and worked

 

[Starfighter]

Sugar does give a bit of a varnish effect on the ball IMO.

 

[DriveClub]

Can we get back on to how much aussie batsmen suck etc. This is getting annoying

 

[Starfighter]

I recall once finding a thread on here where some bloke's only post was about the effect of ear wax applied to the ball.

 

[social]

Can we get back on to how much aussie batsmen suck etc. This is getting annoying

My favorite batsman used to be Larry Gomes and I'm still up for a good deflection

 

[adub]

My favorite batsman used to be Larry Gomes and I'm still up for a good deflection

I bought my house from his sister.

The neighbour when he was a kid used to look over the fence at the Windies guys in the pool when they were in town.

 

[Grumpy]

what happened there?

Zipgate

 

[CapeTown Guy]

Why are we playing a 50-over game as a warm-up for a Test match?

 

[StephenZA]

Why are we playing a 50-over game as a warm-up for a Test match?

SA wanted to reduce it to a 1-day game to give the bowlers a rest from what I understand... 15man/11bat 50 over pink ball game, played in whites.