Sounds like there is some cracking insights in this Trott book into what must be a tough thing for him to talk about. Happy he's doing well now.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/oct/03/jonathan-trott-mental-health-england-ashes
Three years ago, in August 2013, Jonathan Trott felt so tormented by cricket that, as a way of avoiding another day of a Test against Australia at The Oval, he thought of some distressing ways to escape. “Just briefly,” he explains, “I considered driving my car into the Thames or into a tree. That way I could get out of the ordeal.”
Practising in the nets, Trott had set the bowling machine to its fastest speed.
“He must have been hit hard 20 times,” Cook recalls in the book. “Again and again, he took terrible blows. It was horrible to watch … to my lasting regret, I didn’t do anything.”
Trott grimaces amid a graphic memory. “Cookie was in the net next to me. The machine was set to any length at high speed. Instead of what I normally do in practice I was looking for a quick fix. I was trying to justify things and prove to the coaches how hard I was working.”
England had just lost the final of the Champions Trophy against India and, in our 2013 interview, Trott said: “I still feel upset.” He now pinpoints that defeat as the start of his descent into darkness.
Surely change is needed? “Yeah, but some guys have coped OK. Could there be less international cricket? Yes. Most people would say so. But we’re the only country that plays from April to September so only England can go to eight other places in the winter.”
Trott stresses the contrast between him and Vaughan: “I have a bald head and chipped teeth; he has new hair and suddenly brilliant white teeth.”
At the end of day three, one of my best days ever, I got a hundred and I wanted to go back to the changing rooms and sit with my team-mates. I’d had the best fun ever. But I got whisked away for a Sky interview and I thought: ‘OK, that’s done.’ They said: ‘No, you’ve got another interview.’
“I think this gives you the scarring and apprehension about playing sport. It’s not the actual game. It’s more the consequences and knowing what those guys are punching into their laptops or what people are saying about you. You are judged and if you’re not in the right frame of mind it brings you down – which happened to me.”