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Headlines You Want To See During The WC

GIMH

GIMH

Norwood's on Fire
Clapo said:
Piscine Blames New Zealand Loss on Match Engine

English fans were in mourning last night, talking about what might have been after their 1st up loss against New Zealand in the World Cup. Whilst most fans beleive they were outplayed as their batting collapsed due to some elite bowling from usually mediocre Tuffey, even the most bias fans such as Corrin & Pitt accepted it. However, a well known scrabble player, and Battrick Manager, who goes by the name of Scaly Piscine, has made a bizarre claim that it was the match engines fault.

Piscine was ropeable as he explained to the CW Daily that collapses from 3-222 to 10-239 were pure & simply impossible as England failed to reach the target of 242 NZ set eariler. "It's pathetic that a Mediocre bowler such as Tuffey can cause a collapse against a cleary superior Exquisite batting lineup including Pietersen, Joyce, Collingwood & Bell".

It is beleived that a Man name Allan has gone into hiding after the collapse.


One for battrick nuts
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Barney Rubble said:
I resent being called one-eyed. Biased yes, insane yes, over-enthusiastic yes, one-eyed no. :p
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Clapo said:
edited :happy: :p
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Hahaha made up that I got a mention. I've no problem being called one-eyed btw :p

:D
 
Richard

Richard

Cricket Web Staff Member
Clapo said:
Piscine Blames New Zealand Loss on Match Engine

English fans were in mourning last night, talking about what might have been after their 1st up loss against New Zealand in the World Cup. Whilst most fans beleive they were outplayed as their batting collapsed due to some elite bowling from usually mediocre Tuffey, even the most bias fans such as Corrin & Pitt accepted it. However, a well known scrabble player, and Battrick Manager, who goes by the name of Scaly Piscine, has made a bizarre claim that it was the match engines fault.

Piscine was ropeable as he explained to the CW Daily that collapses from 3-222 to 10-239 were pure & simply impossible as England failed to reach the target of 242 NZ set eariler. "It's pathetic that a Mediocre bowler such as Tuffey can cause a collapse against a cleary superior Exquisite batting lineup including Pietersen, Joyce, Collingwood & Bell".

It is beleived that a Man name Allan has gone into hiding after the collapse.


One for battrick nuts
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You haven't even seen his reaction to the South Africans beating us... let alone those nasty cheating Pakistanis whose only purpose in life is to "drag cricket through the mud"...
 
Richard

Richard

Cricket Web Staff Member
Believe me, for every Kiwi who's convinced he's got it in for them, there are 50 SAffies.

I know - I've read his cretinous posts from the very start.
 
i_cricket

i_cricket

Cricket Spectator
Heavy rains force abandonment of World Cup
To be held in late 2007 and ICC yet to decide new venue
 
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BoyBrumby

BoyBrumby

Englishman
Richard said:
Brumby Changes The Record
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-"But I'm listening to You're The One For Me, Fatty on repeat because it reminds me of dear Graeme", confirmed CW's self-appointed arbiter of good taste Richard Dickinson, 57, yesterday, "Or I will be as soon as B*Witched reform & cover the song. Have I told you about the first chance theory? Ow! Who threw that?"

STOP PRESS: Intel confirm development of edible hard-drive in time for cricket world cup
 
Richard

Richard

Cricket Web Staff Member
CW's self-appointed funnyman Dale Brumby, meanwhile, was surprised when someone challenged his title, and ended-up in a state which bore strange resemblence to his latest avatar, when a mysterious asassain known only as "Voltman" took to him, claiming the title was his. Several other members then got involved, and a mass brawl ensued. The Headmaster Mr Nixon did not take kindly to such a thing and gave the class a stern lecture on the matter shortly afterwards. Even now, however, Master Brumby steadfastly maintains that his gags weren't getting old and tired.

Attached for posterity is the avatar in question.
 

Attachments

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Mr Mxyzptlk

Mr Mxyzptlk

Request Your Custom Title Now!
GeraintIsMyHero said:
ENGLAND RECLAIM THE ASHES AS AUSSIES OFFER BIZARRE DEAL!!!

Ten overs from the end of the World Cup Final, Ricky Ponting offered a deal to England skipper Sajid Mahmood (standing in for the 18 injured players). With England chasing 500, they were 240-7 entering the final ten overs. Ponting did not fancy his chances of defending the target, and offered Mahmood a bargain. He said that England could have the Ashes back if they forfeited the World Cup there and then. Mahmood duly agreed and all went home satisfied.

Mahmood is now to be referred to as Sir Sajid Mahmood. As the first Englishmen to ever reclaim the Ashes in the West Indies, it was felt that an MBE would not be enough. Vice-captain Paul Nixon was awarded the CBE.
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Voltman said:
Harmison returns home early from watching World Cup
- "I just got too homesick watching the game at the pub."
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pakster said:
Pakistan Win World Cup

CricInfo hire more imaginative headline writer
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Quality, all.

GIMH posed a particularly under-appreciated gem.
 
Richard

Richard

Cricket Web Staff Member
Disappointed Dickinson and Brumby's article-spats don't even qualify for a mention...
 
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