Headlines You Want To See During The WC

[Richard]

Maybe Inzy was remembering what happened last time he lost weight...

 

[Scaly piscine]

GET IN THE RING FATBOY!!
Inzaman ul-Haq yesterday challenged Bermudan spinner Dwayne Leverock to a sumo wrestling match after Leverock ate all the pies at the opening ceremony. Inzamam was made to settle for salad - "I will waste away" he said, before demanding his team forfeited the rest of the opening ceremony.

Leverock said in a statement, "he thinks he's fat, well he isn't, he's just a slob. At least I ate my way to the top of the obesity list."

Don't be ridiculous, Inzi would never say anything as coherent as "I will waste away".

 

[Richard]

Nor will you.

 

[steds]

Aaaaaahhhh, but the (apocryphal) words were "Hersch, you've just dropped the World Cup".............

The full sentence would have been "You've just dropped the World Cup...in my preminition, which is why I lost my concentration and gave you a catchable chance." However, Waugh decided to leave the last bit out as being sledged by a loony who's seeing things isn't really that intimidating.

 

[Richard]

Top comeback!

 

[BoyBrumby]

de Villiers opens, Smith "Looks forward to filling the number two slot"

-Buggery puns on special offer this week, confirms our headline writer

 

[Richard]

Brumby Changes The Record
Rest Of CW Die In Shock​

 

[Johnners]

Piscine Blames New Zealand Loss on Match Engine

English fans were in mourning last night, talking about what might have been after their 1st up loss against New Zealand in the World Cup. Whilst most fans beleive they were outplayed as their batting collapsed due to some elite bowling from usually mediocre Tuffey, even the most bias fans such as Corrin & Pitt accepted it. However, a well known scrabble player, and Battrick Manager, who goes by the name of Scaly Piscine, has made a bizarre claim that it was the match engines fault.

Piscine was ropeable as he explained to the CW Daily that collapses from 3-222 to 10-239 were pure & simply impossible as England failed to reach the target of 242 NZ set eariler. "It's pathetic that a Mediocre bowler such as Tuffey can cause a collapse against a cleary superior Exquisite batting lineup including Pietersen, Joyce, Collingwood & Bell".

It is beleived that a Man name Allan has gone into hiding after the collapse.


One for battrick nuts

 

[Johnners]

Pet Bulldog Speaks out - Lou Vincent is my Uncle
DNA tests Confirm the link

 

[Barney Rubble]

Piscine Blames New Zealand Loss on Match Engine

English fans were in mourning last night, talking about what might have been after their 1st up loss against New Zealand in the World Cup. Whilst most fans beleive they were outplayed as their batting collapsed due to some elite bowling from usually mediocre Tuffey, even the most one-eyed fans such as Corrin & Pitt accepted it. However, a well known scrabble player, and Battrick Manager, who goes by the name of Scaly Piscine, has made a bizarre claim that it was the match engines fault.

Piscine was ropeable as he explained to the CW Daily that collapses from 3-222 to 10-239 were pure & simply impossible as England failed to reach the target of 242 NZ set eariler. "It's pathetic that a Mediocre bowler such as Tuffey can cause a collapse against a cleary superior Exquisite batting lineup including Pietersen, Joyce, Collingwood & Bell".

It is beleived that a Man name Allan has gone into hiding after the collapse.


One for battrick nuts

I resent being called one-eyed. Biased yes, insane yes, over-enthusiastic yes, one-eyed no.

 

[Johnners]

I resent being called one-eyed. Biased yes, insane yes, over-enthusiastic yes, one-eyed no.

edited

 

[Johnners]

AUSSIES LOSE WC FINAL, GILCHRIST WALKS AT A CRUCIAL STAGE

"Is now a father for the fourth time."

 

[Barney Rubble]

edited

Haha, cheers. Was only kidding anyway!

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Pet Bulldog Speaks out - Lou Vincent is my Uncle
DNA tests Confirm the link

 

[Jono]

Goughy Flown Over to Save England!
CricketWeb Poster Kevin Gough was contacted by the ECB yesterday after they read his posts regarding their paceman's faulty actions. He is now England's full time bowling coach.

 

[Evermind]

de Villiers opens, Smith "Looks forward to filling the number two slot"

-Buggery puns on special offer this week, confirms our headline writer

aahhahaha...SICK....but funny.

 

[FRAZ]

Goughy Flown Over to Save England!
CricketWeb Poster Kevin Gough was contacted by the ECB yesterday after they read his posts regarding their paceman's faulty actions. He is now England's full time bowling coach.

A gem !
Right after winning the contest ~ ~~~~~ ! !

 

[FRAZ]

GET IN THE RING FATBOY!!
I****** ul-***yesterday challenged Bermudan spinner Dwayne Leverock to a sumo wrestling match after Leverock ate all the pies at the opening ceremony. I****** was made to settle for salad - "I will waste away" he said, before demanding his team forfeited the rest of the opening ceremony.

Leverock said in a statement, "he thinks he's fat, well he isn't, he's just a slob. At least I ate my way to the top of the obesity list."

 

[irfan]

AUSTRALIA WINS WC WITHOUT SYMONDS

Until the post match celebrations

 

[Craig]

Dwayne Leverock releases cookbook series called "Cooking with Dwayne" and "Naked Dwayne"