Yet more trouble in the Pakistan camp(LOL)
This reporter has now learned of further frictions in the Pakistan squad.
At the team dinner last night, it appears that Bazid Khan was seated next to Inzamam, and was not very happy when he was lectured to. Inzamam told Bazid that his style was very lazy, that he favoured the leg side too much, that his footwork was inadequate, amd that he played the ball too late.
Bazid replied that he had modelled all these methods on Inzamam's batting. This uspet Inzaman, and he asked if Bazid was trying to take away his position in the team. Bazid replied that he was only trying to copy Inzamam's method for himself. Observers said that at this point Inzaman got very angry and took this as an attempt to steal his technique without his knowledge.
As the two men were now eye ball to eye ball, coach Bob Woolmer had to step in. He reminded Bazid to stay in his place, and personally pledged to Inzamam that he would make Bazid study Mohammad Hafeez's batting technique instead. This had the effect of calming Inzamam for a while.
However, observers said, things only remained calm till the meal arrived - which was a large pizza with extra toppings. When Bazid helped himself to a larger than usual slice, Inzamam again lost his cool, and tried to grab the piece instead. Bazid, who had been fairly calm thougout the earlier altercation, now said that he did not care what Inzamam thought, and as a show of force picked up the the whole pizza tray and locked his jaw on it.
Observers say Inzamam completely lost his calm at this point, and made fitful grabs for pieces of pizza which he attemped to gobble down as quicky as possible. However, sources say he could not match Bazid in the consumption game as Bazid's jaw does not give easily especially when it comes to fighting over pizza.
At this point the highly paid English coach Bob Woolmer again had to intervene. He suggested to Inzamam that it would be better that he returned to his room and relax in the bath while listening to "Say you, say me" by Lionel Richie. Inzamam thought about it for a while and then replied that he had always wanted to improve his English by listening to such songs. "Say you Bob I go upstair. Say I Inzamam ul Haque, I go upstair, have bath, improve English."
Once Inzamam was gone, Woolmer ordered ordered Bazid off the table in more advanced English, and told him to stay in his room till called for. Once Bazid was gone, to the amazement of on-lookers, the highly paid English coach of the Pakistan team immidiately attacked the remaining bits of remaining pizza with an eagerness that ashamed onlookers.
Once Woolmer realised that he was being watched, he grabbed some pieces of the pizza of the floor, opened his laptop and stuck them between its keyboard and screen. He then announced that he was returning to his room to study his laptop, but observers were able to see him grabbing bits of pizza from the laptop en route to the lift.
This incident has left a nasty mess in its wake - it is reported that there were bits of pizza and cheese everywhere.
The Pakistan manager, Salim Altaf, has said that he has taken a very dim view of such things, and said that after a proper investigation, he may order the pizzas himself, or alternatively, ban their consumption altogether.
The news has learned that Salim Altaf's threats have not gown down well with the Pakistan captain Inzamam-ul-Haq, who is already serving a one match ban. He has threated to fly home, and observers say he was last seen in the hotel lobby asking which airlines serve fresh pizza on long distance flights.
I thought that article was serious when i first started reading it.