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[benchmark00]

CAMERON FOUND IN GUTTER

Ignored by his team's selectors, linked with a move to Torquay. Could Andrew Cameron have hit rock bottom? No. Relevations that he's sank even lower are abundant, with tales of the egotistical TF fast bowler having lapsed into heavy drinking and groping TF's star opener Linda Philipps and Miles Mittensmonger's pet cat, Bobby. However, to put the icing on the cake, just this morning Cameron was found unconscious in a Sydney street, t-shirt covered in Whiskey and vomit along with the usual dribble of saliva.
Outspoken Cameron has been in a slide ever since Miles Mittensmonger's arrival, widely believed to be jealousy on Cameron's part. In one of Cameron's recent drunken rants, he recently made the following comments to our editor about Mittensmonger "he's got nothing on me. He hasn't. That little **** is all hype. *burp* Look at those other so called 'child prodigies'. Where are they now? Mozart. Where's he now? Gary Coleman. Where's he now? Aaron Carter. Where's he now? Sachin Tendulkar and Hey Arnold. Where are they now? They got nottin'. Nottin'!! You here me?!? I'm gonna be king of the goddamn world!!!" before muttering under his breath what we made out to be "I don't need TF." But, if he doesn't need TF, how come all he has left in the world is half a bottle of Jack Daniels and a sleeping bag in teammate Steven Burke's garage?

Hehehe

 

[steds]

Typical. My journalism is never taken seriously.

 

[andyc]

CAMERON KNOCKS BACK OFFERS AS STAR RISES

Champion TF fast bowler Andy Cameron has been in the news all week, since the TFCC controversially stated that they were in trading talks with the Torquay Dolphins U12B side. He has since been mentioned on media outlets around the nation, including the ever popular Kiwk Backpacker section on Triple M. Reportedly, when Andy's name was mentioned, the DJ reminded listeners that he's, "not bad, not bad." Ever since his star has risen to even greater proportions, he has been fighting of ***ual advances, which have been misinterpreted as drunken gropings by Cameron. Not only have the attractions included females, but also animals (Linda Phillips, for example, was seen trying to convince him to come home and pump her bra).

Throughout all this news, Cameron has maintained that he will in no way change clubs, or sports, as he instead pushes for a spot in the TF side. "All I ask is for a chance from the selectors. Surely I deserve a chance over that little **** Mittensmonger."

 

[Nate]

Whoa, I`ve missed a lot.

And yet... I`ve missed nothing.


I hit a six! CWXI loses my vote.

 

[Nate]

Sean - learn how to write. Then try again.

 

[Nate]

Liam loses control as the CWXI goes bunk.

 

[steds]

Sean - learn how to write. Then try again.

Ohhhh. So that's where I went wrong.

 

[Nate]

Yeah. Being born wasn`t a great start, but yeah.

 

[Burpey]

CAMPS ARRESTED FOR POSSESSION

All round annoyance Liam Camps has been arrested after police found naked photos of Whoopi Goldberg in his basement. While being hauled away by officers, Camps was heard to claim "They belong to Cameron." Whether this is true or not will be detrmined by a Royal Commission headed by Igor Clubshub. More details to follow as news comes to hand.

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Camps suits up

Liam Camps, who was alleged to be in possession of immoral substances such as Whoopi ****, has organized a keen legal strategy as he heads into his hearing by the popular folk-metal band Igor Clubshub and the Royal Commission. Aside from the purchase a sharp new lavender suit and a bar of soap, Camps has hired the late Johnnie Cochran to work his defence. Reports are that his legal fees are well under control.

Asked to comment on the strategy, Camps said, "I'm confident that my brutish good looks and epic charm will be sufficient. They've got nothing on me."

Camps later added, "NOTHING, I tells ya!!!"

 

[Burpey]

Purple Monkey Dishwasher

 

[Linda]

Less talk, more action please.

 

[Hoggy31]

That's what you think, he'll fight and he'll win

 

[steds]

Less talk, more action please.

 

[Hoggy31]

Craigos and Cameron part ways with the TFCC

The stalemate with Graham Scallopwoggens has ended, a deal has been brokered. This trade sees the TFCC lose veteran batsman Craig Craigos and Andrew Cameron. In exchange the Torquay U12B side has given up picks 5 and 27 in next week's Dewsons National Draft. The tf wishes Craigos well in the future and thanks him for his terrific services over his career. Craigos was a dashing lower to middle over nurdler, averaging 19 in od matches and a very impressive 40 in fc matches.

 

[Nate]

Camps s_its up

:O

Nice start Liam. We`ll get you under 300kg yet.

 

[benchmark00]

Good luck Craigos.

 

[Nate]

Craigos invented luck.

 

[benchmark00]

Linda Philipps, come forth and testify.

 

[andyc]

hey

haha