Jokes in the Herald Sun

[musha_13]

These jokes were in the Herald Sun today (Melbourne Paper)

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder. THE BEST cos its true!!!!

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.


Quite funny

 

[steds]

Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour

 

[age_master]

...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour

please explain homour for us unintelligent Aussies

 

[_Ed_]

Seen most of them before but this one is great:

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

 

[vic_orthdox]

I think that the Hun trot them out every Ashes series.

 

[FaaipDeOiad]

If you needed any further evidence that the Scum stands alongside the Telegraph as the worst paper in Australia, here it is.

 

[crickhowell]

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates? [/B]
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Simon Jones isnt really english either

 

[andyc]

Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour

but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching

 

[King_Ponting]

but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching

lol

 

[archie mac]

Quite pathetic. If you're to make jokes about the England team, at least try to make them funny jokes.



...but then again Aussies aren't intelligent enough to understand the concept of homour

If your going to insult us, at least mention the convict thing, it's about as old and original as most of those jokes.

 

[age_master]

i cant say id heard the first one before, the rest were brought out after the first ashes test last time and probably long before that

 

[steds]

but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching

Brilliant call mate
:applausingpolitelywhilstgrittingteethandmutteringracistcomment:

 

[King_Ponting]

Interesting the songs that the barmy army have come up with this series.......... So hopeful yet so unrealistic

 

[luckyeddie]

please explain homour for us unintelligent Aussies

What do you call an Aussie with half a brain?
Gifted.

Sorry. I don't know any more.

 

[DJellett]

LOL @ the Jones/Jackson gag....loved it...

 

[Shane Warne]

These jokes were in the Herald Sun today (Melbourne Paper)

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder. THE BEST cos its true!!!!

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English
team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.


Quite funny

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[matty1818]

but we are intelligent enough to understand the concept of catching

could have fooled me. Humble pie convicts? have a nice slice.

 

[andyc]

could have fooled me. Humble pie convicts? have a nice slice.

Oh geez it's easy to come back and have a go at me two matches afterwards, isn't it? My, you are a big man.

edit: Sorry, I've had a bad day

 

[rockymazza]

Hey, im an England fan but I have to laugh at that. Hopefully we will be able to make some jokes about you aussies after the Ashes.

 

[The Foxtrot]

hey lucky eddie, do u know what is funny, that all australians are really englishmen (i hate the sound of that) and also you, as the english, introduced cricket to us convicts and we are better than you.
Bwah hahahahahahaha
suckers