Hear, Hear, Hear : Lend me your Ear

[Scallywag]

Feel like a challenge, eh?
Justify that Dravid can't play spin.

Thats to easy.

The bowler that has dismissed Dravid the most is Warne proving that Dravid cant play spin.

 

[Scallywag]

I know this is a p*ss take, but I still like the idea of you living up to this!

Could you please prove that:

1. Trevor Gripper is a superior batsman to Matthew Hayden.
.

Gripper scored a hundred on a seaming wicket which is something Hayden has never done making Gripper superior to Hayden on seaming wickets.

 

[Scallywag]

I know this is a p*ss take, but I still like the idea of you living up to this!

Could you please prove that:


2. Craig White is a superior allrounder to Chris Cairns.

In 62 test Cairns has only managed to take 14 catches, White on the other hand has taken 14 catches in only 30 tests including 3 in one match, something Cairns has never been able to achieve.

 

[Son Of Coco]

Richard Hadlee - The Great New Zealand Disappointment

Much has been made of his prowess with the ball, however there are some alarming statistics that counter the many claims of brilliance. For example:

Did you know that in his first 3 full test matches Richard Hadlee averaged 119.66 runs per wicket? That's right! In an alarming 3.48837% of all the matches he played in his career he averaged greater than 115 runs per wicket. If we take the 3.48837% and call it the 'Golden Years', it's fair to suggest that anything lying outside this period must indeed be treated as an anomaly, and therefore struck from the record. In stats terms we'll refer to the other 96.5 odd percent of his career as 'extreme variables' - lying outside the reasonable area of expectancy given the results in these three Tests and therefore struck from the record.

Hadlee was a one trick pony, and I implore you not to let the fact that he performed the trick 431 times at an average of 22.29 fool you into thinking otherwise! In his fifth last test he took 2/132...and as the old saying goes - "You're only as good as your fifth last test!".

That makes Hadlee as good as someone who took 2 wickets at an average of 66! Geoffrey Boycott has a test bowling average of 54.57; Mark Taylor - 26.00; Allan Border 39.10.

Read it and weep Richard Hadlee...you were a disgrace to the art of bowling!

Over to you SJS...

 

[Scallywag]

I absolutely hate Richard Hadlee, and think he was a rubbish bowler.

I would like you to prove me correct.

Thank you.

Hadlee is a crap bowler, in 86 test matches he has not got one stumping to his name.

 

[tooextracool]

Gripper scored a hundred on a seaming wicket which is something Hayden has never done making Gripper superior to Hayden on seaming wickets.

that is something that might actually be true.

 

[Prince EWS]

Gripper's hundred wasnt on a seaming wicket at all. I dont think Chittagong has ever produced a seaming wicket to be honest.

http://www.cricinfo.com/link_to_dat...ESH/SCORECARDS/ZIM_BDESH_T2_15-19NOV2001.html

 

[Scallywag]

that is something that might actually be true.

WHAT! did you think I would be ********ting or something.

 

[LongHopCassidy]

In 62 test Cairns has only managed to take 14 catches, White on the other hand has taken 14 catches in only 30 tests including 3 in one match, something Cairns has never been able to achieve.

That's only one aspect of their games though.

 

[SJS]

I'll need some back up Stats Master S!

Okay. Here we are.

Assignment 1

Objective : Prove Richard Hadlee was a crap bowler. Provide statistical evidence to support.

Findings :

1. Richard Hadlee played in only 70 % of all test playing countries. He did not play, for example, in South Africa, Zimbabwe and Bangladesh. Clearly this is a big gap in his CV. We have come across some fast bowlers from minnows like Bangladesh who have played in Bangladesh as well as Zimbabwe

2. He just could not bowl in muslim countries. In Pakistan, he averages a miserable 44.7 per wicket. He was atrocious in Niaz stadium Hyderabad averaging 77 per wicket and National stadium Karachi averaging over 53 per wicket. While statsitics are not available, his career record in Muslim countries would suggest that these cities may have slightly higher Muslim population than Gaddafi stadium Lahore.

3. He had no clue as to how to bowl at Green Park Kanpur where he averages 59.

4. But his most glaring weakness would appear to be at Headingley where he failed to get a single wicket in 282 attempts !!


5. He had a major drawback in that he was not able to get the number 11 out. An insignificant number of his 431 victims were batting at number 11 in the order !! Surely some one who has problem getting the last man in the batting order throughout his career has to be termed as cra*. In fact we know of bowlers who are fairly decent crap bowlers in comparison to Hadlee.

Conclusion : It has ben proven with facts and figures that Hadlee ranks amongst the lower rung of crap bowlers.

 

[SJS]

Richard Hadlee - The Great New Zealand Disappointment

Much has been made of his prowess with the ball, however there are some alarming statistics that counter the many claims of brilliance. For example:

Did you know that in his first 3 full test matches Richard Hadlee averaged 119.66 runs per wicket? That's right! In an alarming 3.48837% of all the matches he played in his career he averaged greater than 115 runs per wicket. If we take the 3.48837% and call it the 'Golden Years', it's fair to suggest that anything lying outside this period must indeed be treated as an anomaly, and therefore struck from the record. In stats terms we'll refer to the other 96.5 odd percent of his career as 'extreme variables' - lying outside the reasonable area of expectancy given the results in these three Tests and therefore struck from the record.

Hadlee was a one trick pony, and I implore you not to let the fact that he performed the trick 431 times at an average of 22.29 fool you into thinking otherwise! In his fifth last test he took 2/132...and as the old saying goes - "You're only as good as your fifth last test!".

That makes Hadlee as good as someone who took 2 wickets at an average of 66! Geoffrey Boycott has a test bowling average of 54.57; Mark Taylor - 26.00; Allan Border 39.10.

Read it and weep Richard Hadlee...you were a disgrace to the art of bowling!

Over to you SJS...

I am promoting you to chief statistical analyst after that performance

 

[King_Ponting]

Prove that Muttiah muralithiran is a crap bowler

 

[Prince EWS]

Prove that Muttiah muralithiran is a crap bowler

Thats easy.

He averages over 100 in Australia.

 

[Sir Redman]

Richard Hadlee - The Great New Zealand Disappointment

Much has been made of his prowess with the ball, however there are some alarming statistics that counter the many claims of brilliance. For example:

Did you know that in his first 3 full test matches Richard Hadlee averaged 119.66 runs per wicket? That's right! In an alarming 3.48837% of all the matches he played in his career he averaged greater than 115 runs per wicket. If we take the 3.48837% and call it the 'Golden Years', it's fair to suggest that anything lying outside this period must indeed be treated as an anomaly, and therefore struck from the record. In stats terms we'll refer to the other 96.5 odd percent of his career as 'extreme variables' - lying outside the reasonable area of expectancy given the results in these three Tests and therefore struck from the record.

Hadlee was a one trick pony, and I implore you not to let the fact that he performed the trick 431 times at an average of 22.29 fool you into thinking otherwise! In his fifth last test he took 2/132...and as the old saying goes - "You're only as good as your fifth last test!".

That makes Hadlee as good as someone who took 2 wickets at an average of 66! Geoffrey Boycott has a test bowling average of 54.57; Mark Taylor - 26.00; Allan Border 39.10.

Read it and weep Richard Hadlee...you were a disgrace to the art of bowling!

Over to you SJS...

Brilliant!

Love this bit for some odd reason:

In his fifth last test he took 2/132...and as the old saying goes - "You're only as good as your fifth last test!".

Now prove that Mark Ramprakash is England's best batsman.

 

[SJS]

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.

For the safety and security and longevity of everyone on this forum AND of this thread, all refrences to a particular off spinner from Sri Lanka and a not-to-be-named leg spinner from down under are strictly no-no.

Please contact the undersigned offline at an extra fee for services in this regard

 

[SJS]

Prove that Muttiah muralithiran is a crap bowler

This is a non-starter since it hasnt yet been established on this forum that a particular un-named gentleman from a particular tear shaped island in the Indian Ocean is a "bowler" to start with, crap or non-crap

 

[King_Ponting]

hahah nice one mate. okay prove that bradman was a bunny. that should be a toughy

 

[Prince EWS]

hahah nice one mate. okay prove that bradman was a bunny. that should be a toughy

Going by his most recent form, hes a horrible batsman.
In his last innings, he got out for a duck, and there is no evidence to suggest he has improved since. He averages 0 over the last 56 years, 9 months and 28 days.

 

[Steulen]

hahah nice one mate. okay prove that bradman was a bunny. that should be a toughy

Easiest thing in the world: refused to play against anyone but England, and everyone knows England is one of the crappier nations to play cricket, as proven by their results over the last 25 years. Bradman the batsman is basically identical to Kallis the bowler: only interested in bunnyhunting, protecting his average. What a loser, Bradman.

 

[SJS]

hahah nice one mate. okay prove that bradman was a bunny. that should be a toughy

Oh thats one of the easiest assignments we have had.

Bradman was the biggest bunny in the history of the game !!!

Definition of Bunny : A batsman who is unable to play a particular bowler, gets out too often to a particular bowler is regarded as his bunny.

Bradman's reputation as a bunny : Bradman, argued by many less-knowledgeable as the greatest cricketer of all times has been called by some writers as the bunny of Alec Bedser the English swing bowler.

In the 10 tests that they played against each other, Bradman was out 13 times of which Bedser got him 6 times.

Hedley Verity, the English left arm spinner played against the Don in 17 tests and got his wicket 8 times.

But I would not go by these records to claim Bradman to be anyones bunny.

Biut he was still the greatest bunny in the history of the game.

Here are the stats.

He averaged 0.00 against one particular bowler !

He lasted only 2.00 balls per innings against this bowler !!

An astonishing 100% of his dismissals against this bowler were clean bowled !!!


Surely no further proof is required of the proposition.

The name of the bowler Eric Hollies. The leg spinner who cut Bradman to size and went into the record books as the bowler who prevented Bradman from averaging 100 (or more) in his test career.