THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER!
Six seasons ago, when Trevor Vayro addressed a hand-full of local press, and told them he'd take a ramshackle bunch of Division Five journeymen to the top flight in ten seasons…People laughed! Fourteen games ago, when Trevor Vayro told a larger gathering of local press that the title would still come to Swansea, despite losing their season opener to main rivals Whos Your Daddy…People laughed! - No-one's laughing tonight, as Vayro greeted not only the local, but the national press, after his men beat Kent's The Wrong'uns to secure the IV.11 title in thrilling fashion, seemingly putting them odds on to win automatic promotion to Division three.
Perhaps prophetically, it was 17YO Prof/Med rooky Matthew Akhtar who hit the winning boundary off his first delivery, while the man who's crown he'll one day inherit, Exc/Sup Doug Greening watched from the non-striker's end, having piloted his side to the Championship with an utterly phlegmatic and nerveless 83* from 95 balls.
But you'd be mistaken if you thought that the entire day had been one extended coronation. The Gurs started the day with an NRR advantage of 1.5 over second-placed Whos Your Daddy, whose troops were massed just over the Thames Estuary in Essex; and on more than one occasion, it appeared as though The Daddy's may yet commit Regicide.
Yet Gurs' Skipper Strong/Resp Bat Patel must have felt he already had one foot on the Scone Stone when, within three overs of electing to field, Rem/Sup LM Bewers had ripped out Exc Bridges M and Qual Howard, as well as running out Rem Leonard without scoring. But The Wrong'un's roots in the Garden of England proved much harder to dig out, as 27/3 became 116/3, and stage-fright began to set in. Meanwhile, across the Medway, Republican sentiment was rife, as The Daddy's reduced Hoveshire Hawks' innings to rubble in Cromwellian fashion - Meaning that at the quarter-way point it was still all to play for.
That was until Sup/Resp LFM Steve Carlton rode past on his BMX, and blew away the Wrong'uns' middle order with 3/18 from his seven overs, on Def orders! Once chaos had ensued in the opposition ranks, Patel called back the Household Cavalry, and whilst Qual/Resp RM Wilde was unable to add to his recent impressive haul of scalps, Bewers did bag another, leaving just No.11 Crane for Strong/Prof LHS Cash to send to The Tower, with the score on 169.
So The Gurs were able to lunch in front of the telly, just in time to see Hoveshire Hawks rally slightly against The Daddy's. An unbeaten 53 from No.5 Lees, combined with useful contributions of 18 and 21 from the tail, meant that The Hawks limped to 198 all out, leaving The Daddys with a tough task to better The Gurs' NRR by 1.5 or more.
In the Gurs' reply Greening alone batted with monarchic serenity, as, with the score having advanced to just 22, Sup/Wond Noon took an arrow from Rem RHS Crane, alas not in the eye, but in the knee, bang in front of middle for 9. Rem/Sup Staveley batted with the heart and stomach of a Lion, but the pull shot of a meek and feeble woman, as he raced to 39 from forty deliveries, only to hole out in the deep to Sup LFM Bullman. But With No.4 Strong/Strong Jeffery, came word that the Daddy's line was breaking, as they trudged wearily to 124/3 in 30 overs, well below the sort of rate which was going to usurp the throne. All The Gurs had to do was hold their nerve, and hold it they did, Jeffery 28 (39), providing able support to Greening. Wond RHS Branson did nip in for two quick wickets with less than ten required, as The Gurs stuck out their NRR necks for the Line, but then came that first-ball tickle to fine Leg from Akhtar, There can scarcely have been a more valuable shot in the Club's history.
RATINGS ON PAN
The WrongUns Cymru Gurgitaters
Top Order: superb wonderful
Middle Order: mediocre respectable
Lower Order: worthless woeful
Seam Bowling: respectable superb
Spin Bowling: remarkable proficient
Fielding: woeful feeble
MOTM: Greening
