Archived [18/10/06] : Battrick

[Cloete]

Nice easy TIE for me

Roar CC 3/298

raju 117 AO (32 overs)

 

[trevor_vayro]

OMG, good job I took Py's advice and went for PAN today! Lost the toss and was put in, currently 90/3 after 20! The a*se has fallen out of my innings already with Haldane hastening his transfer scoring 2, and Dunfield and Patel blasting entertaining, but ultimately useless cameos of 19 and 10 respectively. Christ alone knows what carnage I'd have logged on to had I TIEd it? But at least Staveley is holding my guts in with 35 (41), although Carless looks as though he might go the way of his predecessors, rattling along to 17 (9), with a display of high risk/high reward cricket which is bringing me out in a cold sweat!

Later, Trev

 

[PY]

Man, things aren't improving either mate. I feel partially responsible for your result now!

C'mon Cymru..(never thought I'd hear myself saying those words in a sentence )

 

[trevor_vayro]

I think you turning up for a pint in the Urwenda beer tent is doing the business Py, 163/5 after 35. Carless continues to lead a charmed life with 56 (59) and Mullins is ably supporting him with 12 (15) These pair have added 53 for the sicth wicket so far, but they're my last two proper batsman, so they have the innings nestling in their boxes! A good stand here could see us reach 250-odd, which would be defendable,a f**k up now and we could be skittled for 190 or so, which...Um...Well, wouldn't be defendable!

People keep hassling me to do work, don't they realise that my entire innings, and possibly season, hinge on the next quarter of an hour!!!!

Later, Trev

 

[Adamc]

Just had my attention brought to this player:

Chris Holloway (61630)
LH Batsman, LM Bowler, superb batting form, superb bowling form, energetic
A steady player with competent leadership skills and remarkable experience.

Plays For: Rats Hawks
Nationality: Australia
Age: 28 Years Old

Seeing as 95% of players in the game seem to have less than feeble experience I have no idea how he managed that. Looking at other players in his squad, he has one with strong experience, one respectable and lots of mediocres/feebles. Most of them are home-grown players rather than transfers so either it's a bug or he's doing something the rest of us aren't...

 

[trevor_vayro]

Py, whatever it was you were doing before, start doing it again for F**k Sake! 201/9 off 42,fingers crossed I can stagger to 220, which could give me a sniff of a chance. Carless has gone for a bould 66, Edworthy bludgened three boundaries in his 12 (10), Atherton-Ham hung about a bit for six, but now it's down to Bewers and Burke, who's a rabbit of Myxomatosis proportions! So Bewers, if ever there was anything in my hunch that you could actually bat a bit - Now's the time to prove it!

Later, Trev

 

[trevor_vayro]

213 A/O, could have been worse, should have been better! I think I need to re-think how good I believe my 'Gurs' to be. It's like when you think you've met a real stonking bird,way out of your league, then you meet a few of their ex's and realise that they were all mingers too! Kind'a takes the fun out of it because you realise it wasn't such a great achievement pulling them in the first place. Oh well, going to have to produce the bowling performance of their lives if they're going to dig themselves out of this mess!

 

[Kweek]

End of Over 50: 269-10, runrate=5.38
green pitch, but I reckon i can win this.

 

[Scaly piscine]

I'm going along nicely, chasing 281 for victory:

End of Over 27: 164-0, runrate=6.07, reqrunrate=5.09 (280-4)
Black 1-0-9-0
Armstrong* 68 (75 balls)
Packer 83 (90 balls)

They're using the fairly suicidal (unless all their bowlers have great stamina, which I doubt) bowling orders where the opening bowlers bowl through - they got hammered somewhat in the 11-20 overs.

 

[Adamc]

Playing on TIE against the best team in the West Indies (NorCricket United) and expecting a thorough thrashing. I decided to put all my eggs in one basket by basing my match orders on the assumption that I'll win the toss and bowl, but I've just been sent in. Hopefully we'll keep it respectable.

 

[superkingdave]

Won my game on TIE by 9 wickets, bowled the oppos out for 191 and got 193/1, Islam took 5-30, Atkins 3-21. Magloire hit 77*(61) and Lawrence 78*(65)

 

[Scaly piscine]

My team still looking comfortable with no wickets down, bit irritating that a mediocre spinner has managed two maidens so far. Think there's a fair chance of an incredible collapse in the Urwendor v Cymru Gurgitaters, but still not looking good.

 

[roseboy64]

Bowling atm and the opposition is currently 48-4 after 14.1 overs. Wanted to bat first but oh well.

 

[Scaly piscine]

Wrapped up a comfortable 9 wicket win with 2.1 overs remaining, both openers making tons.

 

[marc71178]

Fairly comfortable TIE win.

They were somehow 2nd in my league but I overhauled their 39 all out with 45 overs to spare.

Puts me 12 points clear of the next team and my NRR has me 6th in the promotion table at halfway

 

[trevor_vayro]

Sorry Mrs. Staveley, Haldane, Dunfield, Patel, Partridge, Mullins, Edworthy, Bewers, Burke, your sons, boyfriends and husbands won't be coming home tonight, they're locked in the changing rooms, getting the Alex Ferguson Hairdryer treatment until the enormity of what they've just done finally sinks into them! Carless and Atherton-Ham are excused.

In one fell swoop I think they've probably just condemned The Gurs to relegation. In the last two seasons in my league the fourth place team has needed an 8/6 split, for which, on paper at least, I should have been on course - Although I hadn't reckoned on that shower of sh*t performance. I now need to do a number on one of the sides who I believe are better than me - Well on the strength of today, at least there's seven for me to pick from! But realistically it's looking like the playoffs for me. I shouldn't go down automatically as there are two seriously toilet sides in the league, but that's cold comfort as I'm almost certainly doomed if I come up against a Div V runaway winner, with sky high morale, and even higher fitness after TIEing against bots all season.

For what it's worth, I had a late team change, when I realised, just in the nick of time, that Urwenda had switched to a Green pitch from Dusty, necessitating a recall for seamer, Burke, and some more tray-carrying practice for spinner and club-captain Byron. Having lost the toss, James - Premature Ejaculation - Haldane (So called because 30 seconds in the crease and that's his lot!), dicked around for 2, before Dunfield and Patel went on Kamikaze missions, with short and sweet flails of 19 and 10 respectively. Staveley looked solid, and Carless looked shakier than Sadam's defence, so in true Battrick style, Staveley got himself run out one short of his half century, and left Carless to anchor the innings. Carless reckoned on attack being the best form of defence, probably sensibly given the crock at the other end. He blasted his way to 66 (70), as Partridge wallowed in the longest pair since my gran's t*ts, and Mullins Struck a promising but fruitless 16. Eventually Carless was 7th out with about 180 on the board. The tail did wag a bit, albeit slightly pitifully, in the manner of a dog who realises it was actually its beloved owner who just ran him over! Atherton-ham struck a sweet cover-drive in his 6, Edworthy bludgeoned three combative boundaries in his 12 (9), and Bewers and Burke did a half tidy job of hanging around, begging scraps like a tramp out the back of McDonalds, as they eked out 13 more precious runs for the last wicket, to leave us a rather pathetic 213 A/O in 46.1.

Given the platform they inherited, I can't really blame the bowlers, but having said that, I'm going to! The bowling was tidy enough, and for most of the innings their RR was under 4.00, but it had about as much teeth as under-fire Wales Fullback, Gareth Thomas. Both Bewers, newly Prof, and Edworthy, V. High Resp with wages over £1k, went wicketless in their opening spells, leaving it to spinner Atherton-ham, bowling first change, to open the Gurs' account with two in his first four overs. Burke, who in recent weeks has sprayed it around more than a kid with a speech impediment on a trip to North Wales, finally managed to point his guide-dog at the stumps and turned in a very neat, but again flaccid performance of 10/0/32/0. Mullins was good, but not as good as normal, and had a weak last four overs to finish with 10/1/39/0, Atherton-Ham came back to claim the bowling Daddy prize with another wicket to take him to 10/0/35/3 - But then my supposedly premier pace attack came back on, and f**ked up all the good work. Edworthy did at least bag a wicket to make it into the top ten bowlers in my league, but was distinctly ordinary for his 9/0/50/1 - And if at all possible, Bewers was even more insipid, as he yielded the winning runs with the last delivery of his 8.5/0/38/0.

And as if the actual match wasn't sickening enough, I then find out that I lost to the following ratings:

Urwendor
Cymru Gurgitaters
Top Order:
mediocre
competent
Middle Order:
feeble
competent
Lower Order:
woeful
abysmal
Seam Bowling:
competent
competent
Spin Bowling:
proficient
mediocre
Fielding:
feeble
Feeble

I don't mean to whinge like a kid who needs his a*se smacking, but surely that's not right? You could argue that their superior spin counteracts my batting advantage, but overall I'd say I had more bases covered?
*
So that's pretty much that, down to fifth, two points off fourth, and level with Urwenda in sixth, but with a massively superior RR - not that RR is much use unless I can get some points on the board. Lancashire CCC, next week's opponents, had ratings today of Strong/Resp/Abs - Prof/Resp/Med, so another pummelling in store for me there, unless Battrick has got any more ridiculous ratings upsets on the cards!

Worked out, that on current market values, I could get around £1.5/£1.6m for my entire starting CI. Thinking of transfer listing the lot of them, spending around £200k on 10 or twelve older Comp journeymen, and sinking the rest into four sh*t-hot 17yo trainees. But I'll wait and see if I calm down any first before doing that.

Have a good weekend, I'm off to find a length of rope and a banister,

Later, Trev!

 

[James]

Py, whatever it was you were doing before, start doing it again for F**k Sake! 201/9 off 42,fingers crossed I can stagger to 220, which could give me a sniff of a chance. Carless has gone for a bould 66, Edworthy bludgened three boundaries in his 12 (10), Atherton-Ham hung about a bit for six, but now it's down to Bewers and Burke, who's a rabbit of Myxomatosis proportions! So Bewers, if ever there was anything in my hunch that you could actually bat a bit - Now's the time to prove it!

Later, Trev

Please stay within the forum rules Trev and don't avoid the filter.

 

[James]

I think you turning up for a pint in the Urwenda beer tent is doing the business Py, 163/5 after 35. Carless continues to lead a charmed life with 56 (59) and Mullins is ably supporting him with 12 (15) These pair have added 53 for the sicth wicket so far, but they're my last two proper batsman, so they have the innings nestling in their boxes! A good stand here could see us reach 250-odd, which would be defendable,a f**k up now and we could be skittled for 190 or so, which...Um...Well, wouldn't be defendable!

People keep hassling me to do work, don't they realise that my entire innings, and possibly season, hinge on the next quarter of an hour!!!!

Later, Trev

As above.

 

[James]

OMG, good job I took Py's advice and went for PAN today! Lost the toss and was put in, currently 90/3 after 20! The a*se has fallen out of my innings already with Haldane hastening his transfer scoring 2, and Dunfield and Patel blasting entertaining, but ultimately useless cameos of 19 and 10 respectively. Christ alone knows what carnage I'd have logged on to had I TIEd it? But at least Staveley is holding my guts in with 35 (41), although Carless looks as though he might go the way of his predecessors, rattling along to 17 (9), with a display of high risk/high reward cricket which is bringing me out in a cold sweat!

Later, Trev

As above, if this continues Trev, we will be forced into giving you a seven day ban.

 

[Robertinho]

Hahahahaha, onya Trev!