WHERE THE PATEL WERE "WE"?
Following Neale Patel's bitter tirade against his own supporters' stay-away ten days ago, on Friday afternoon it was an altogether more humble Cymru Gurgitaters' captain, who was forced to apologise to the same fans, after his side's abject defeat to IV.11 strugglers Victoria Drivers.
"There's no excuses, if you look at the match ratings, we were ahead in almost every department. We had the ingredients here to do a professional number on a side badly lacking in confidence, but what it comes down to is that we played some pretty ordinary cricket - And as skipper I have to put my hands up and say sorry for that! I can't do anything about what's happened today, I can only promise that we'll look long and hard at what went wrong and ask ourselves some tough questions when we sit down to watch the DVD of the match."
And the inquest will stretch right back to the moments immediately following Patel winning the toss and electing to field. Qual/Prof left arm medium-pacer, Bewers, once again lived up to his Cautious tag, by failing to take a wicket in his opening seven over burst, and this time he wasn't even able to exert his customary control and economy, going for a profligate 35 runs first up.
At the other end, it's getting increasingly hard to avoid the conclusion that, however much promise he holds for the future, 18YO Prof/Med New Zealand youngster Wilde simply isn't up to the task at present. He too failed to strike in his opening spell of 5/0/28/0, allowing a distinctly average Drivers' top order of two Profs and a Strong to race away to 62 from the first eleven. But however accomplished Wilde does eventually become, it'll be that 0 in the wickets column concerning Gurs' Chairman Trevor Vayro far more than the 62 in the runs column. Many had warned Vayro of the potential danger in pairing two Cautious medium-pacers at the top of the innings, so could his chickens now be coming home to roost?
So often it's the spin-twins of Sup/Prof Bridges M and Strong/Prof Cash who do the damage in the middle overs, but on Friday they were unable to reign in Victoria Drivers. Bridges M did strike with his very first delivery, bowling south African Prof opener Firy for 24, but from then on in he struggled to control his line and was clipped off the legs far too often - Finishing with his worst figures of the season, 1/54.
Cash in comparison was able to impose some pressure on the batsmen, but with Bridges M and Resp/Feeb Bent being effectively milked from the other end, cash found it impossible to bottle that pressure into wickets, managing just a credible 0/45 from his allocation, while Blair (113) and Atwood (88) plundered a 161 run third wicket partnership.
A late drivers' wobble in the slog overs did help Patel's side peg the score back somewhat, and also flattered the figures of Bent (2/67) Wilde (2/69) and Bewers (1/49) more than they really deserved, but even so, Patel wouldn't have lunched well on the prospect of having to chase down Victoria Drivers' 288/6 in order to stay in the title race.
The Gurs' came out to bat accompanied by the prophetic strains of Mission Impossible, to silence which Strong/Resp Patel launched just his third ball into the stand beyond the midwicket boundary. However, the PA system wasn't to be that easily subdued, as it once again struck up to herald Patel's premature walk back to the pavilion, when, off the very next ball, he repeated the hook, only to balloon it into the grateful hands of Dodge at Square-Leg.
So, at 7/1 it was already make-or-break for The Gurs, with star-turn Rem/Resp Greening promoted to No.3. He and Qual/Prof Staveley needed to take their side most of the way, and the early signs were indeed promising. Greening demonstrated his increasing reliability, effectively manoeuvring the ball into gaps, while Staveley teed off with his trade-mark crunching Cover-Drives. But just as the required rate was beginning to be overhauled, Staveley, on 40 (39), drove at a Shane away-swinger just a few inches too far away from his body, giving Wond Drivers' keeper Brooks his first of six dismissals, and leaving The Gurs on 93/2 after 19.
Given this season's batting record after the fall of the second wicket, the Fat Lady could have been forgiven if she'd slipped off to the bathroom to touch up her make-up and go through a few scales when she saw Staveley walking back, but for once, The Gurs' perennial under-achiever, Strong/Strong Bat Noon, afflicted her with an acute bout of laryngitis. After a tentative, uncertain start - Somewhat becoming of a man who's averaging nine for the season - Noon began to hit his straps. Indeed, he even became Aggressor-In-Chief, hitting four 4s and two maximums on his way to a first half century in ten competitive matches.
Yet even as this pair brought up the two hundred in the thirty-eighth over, with the required rate hovering around an eminently achievable seven-per-over, one was left with the distinct impression that you'd seen it all before, That this was simply a mirage, and - Rather than tasting success - Very soon The Gurs were going to be biting the dust. And so it came to pass! With the score on 210/2, Noon unnecessarily skyed Hollis to Atwood at Long-On for 54 (70), and when Prof/Resp Qureshi completely failed to read Hollis's next delivery, losing his Middle Stump, a gentle coast home had turned into a nose-dive towards defeat. But With Greening at the crease on three figures, surely The Gurs were still narrow favourites?...I believe the phrase I'm looking for is "D'OH!!!"…As in the very next over from Wilkinson, Brooks extended an Inspector Gadget'esque right arm to capitalise on a tired-looking attempted glide from the centurion, sending him back for a run-a-ball 104, and sealing The Gurs' fate in the process - Or at least it should have done!
No.7 Resp/Woe debutant, 19YO Turkish/New Zealander Frank Mohammed used to be the school captain of fellow Gurs' trainees Wilde and Zonke, and he called upon every ounce of leadership skills he possesses when he and Resp/Sup Cash made one last defiant stand. Many were the journalists' pens poised to scribble headlines around the theme of Mohammed coming to the Mountain, as the pair brought up the 250 without the loss of another wicket - Even reducing the required rate to six-an-over as they went! Alas, Many also were the Journalist-piloted paper aeroplanes heading for the bins, when Mohammed's luck ran out, perishing in the deep for a brave cameo of 23, (17, 2x4 1x6)
Summing the day up perfectly, Bewers tripped over his feet to get run out first ball, and such was the speed of the decline from that point, that when Cash, 28 (31) the last recognised batsmen, feathered one through to Brooks 26 runs from home, it hardly mattered. The final wicket pair of Bridges M and Bent mustered just one more run between them, before, in another seemingly symbolic moment, Bridges M went for a country stroll, wafting airily as he went. Had he connected then the deficit would have been under twenty, and the travelling contingent perhaps would have dared to dream again - However, in the event he missed by the margin of a small camel, allowing Vayro ample time to reach for and light a Hamlet cigar, before Brooks deliberately removed the bails, to the strains of a double-bass and piano in the background!
On a day when both the top sides dropped points, Cymru Gurgitaters' position could have been so different. However, as things stand, with just four points now separating The Gurs in 4th and Victoria Drivers in 7th, who'd bet against this division going to the wire?
Reporter's Summary
*
victoria drivers Cymru Gurgitaters(TIE)
Top Order: respectable strong
Middle Order: mediocre competent
Lower Order: abysmal abysmal
Seam Bowling: respectable respectable
Spin Bowling: useless respectable
Fielding: woeful woeful
In other news, just one pop today, but a good one. Greening's reached Prof Conc, so I can sack his WK net and give him two batting. At Rem+6/7 Wks, hopefully he'll hit Wond in five or six weeks time, and be 25/30% up the level by the end of the season.
Beat Cricket Boy in a good match yesterday. He set me a tough chase of 273, as the bowling was once again filth. Bewers was seriously flattered by his 5/59, as four of them came in the last over when the damage had already been done. Yet ludicrously he still got the MOTM over Greening's run-a-ball 120*, which along with Staveley's 94 (118) formed the back-bone of our reply. Worryingly Patel got a golden duck and Noon just 5, and poor morale appears to be hitting the ratings, mustering just Prof/Comp/Abs - Resp/Prof/Woe.
Adam, when you see this, please could you grab me an YP? I'd like a 17Yo, 7 Stam, 12 Bat, 12 Conc, 4 Field.
Tar, Trev
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