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*Official* Australia tour of New Zealand Feb-Mar 2024

SteveNZ

Cricketer Of The Year
I'm impressed that Davey remembered Oamaru. I've played cricket in some shithole backwater Victorian towns that I couldn't name if I had to, so he's done well to actually remember the name.

I do love a good 'personal attack on an NZ small town' article, like when John Cleese slated Palmy, Mick Jagger called Invers a shithole, David Lloyd grumbled about Wanganui, and others I've missed.


Graeme Smith nailed it on the Tron though :laugh:
 

jcas0167

International Debutant
I missed that Graeme Smith had called it a "hillbilly city"

One of our senior players was told that his mother was his brother, which none of us understood, but all recognised as an insult.

"When our man replied that the bearded man's mother was probably a sheep, he replied: 'Yeah and bloody proud of it'."
 
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Bahnz

Hall of Fame Member
Incidentally, I once had a flatmate who decided to move out and take up a new job in Hamilton. She was Vietnamese, and her time in New Zealand had been spent entirely in Wellington. A day after she left, I got a call from her in a state of some distress. Apparently the Tron was so appalling that she'd decided to quit her new job after one day and wanted to know if her old room was still available.
 

Silver Silva

International Regular
An Aussie/NZ combined XI ?

1.Usman Khawaja
2.Tom Latham
3.Kane Williamson
4.Steven Smith
5.Daryll Mitchell
6.Travis Head
7.Tom Blundell (WK)
8.Pat Cummins (C)
9.Mitchell Starc
10.Nathan Lyon
11.Josh Hazlewood
 

Gob

International Coach
An Aussie/NZ combined XI ?

1.Usman Khawaja
2.Tom Latham
3.Kane Williamson
4.Steven Smith
5.Daryll Mitchell
6.Travis Head
7.Tom Blundell (WK)
8.Pat Cummins (C)
9.Mitchell Starc
10.Nathan Lyon
11.Josh Hazlewood
Marnus over Latham easily even he is out of form. Tommy Latham is one of the most pointless cricketers ever
 

Gob

International Coach
Incidentally, I once had a flatmate who decided to move out and take up a new job in Hamilton. She was Vietnamese, and her time in New Zealand had been spent entirely in Wellington. A day after she left, I got a call from her in a state of some distress. Apparently the Tron was so appalling that she'd decided to quit her new job after one day and wanted to know if her old room was still available.
What happened next?
 

Silver Silva

International Regular
Marnus over Latham easily even he is out of form. Tommy Latham is one of the most pointless cricketers ever
Latham is New Zealand's 7th highest run scorer in Tests ..
Over 2000 runs in NZ @44 and it's a difficult place for openers historically, a lot of great openers in recent past have struggled there , Smith is a novice opener and Labuschagne hasn't been great away from home yet ..I think Latham can surprise you guys on this tour.
 

SteveNZ

Cricketer Of The Year
Latham is New Zealand's 7th highest run scorer in Tests ..
Over 2000 runs in NZ @44 and it's a difficult place for openers historically, a lot of great openers in recent past have struggled there , Smith is a novice opener and Labuschagne hasn't been great away from home yet ..I think Latham can surprise you guys on this tour.
It'll certainly be a surprise :laugh:

His record against Australia is woeful, with a big sample size. 16 innings at 26, three 50s - no score over 63 - and I think the worst thing about it is the amount of starts he's made against them and not gone on. 11 of those 16 are double figures, half of them are between 29 and 63. So he's not being blasted out on green ones. He's not falling to the new ball, as a general rule. Again in half those innings, he's facing between 70-150 balls, so we're talking dismissals between the the 20th-50th over. Very, very similar pattern against all sides over the past 12 months, too.

He's not technically lacking, it's just the ability to play big innings against quality opposition isn't there - really never has been at Test level. I don't agree with Gob that Latham is pointless, he's the best pure opener in this country. He's done some great things for us. But I don't think any of us as NZ fans are expecting he'll score runs in this series.
 

Bahnz

Hall of Fame Member
What happened next?
I'd already arranged for a new tenant so I had to tell her it wasn't (tbh I wasn't particularly sorry to see her go as while she was generally considerate and punctual with the rent she was the most disgusting eater - used to eat with her mouth open making revolting wet chewing sounds). She just replied "Oh god" in a kind of weak horror and hung up. Never heard from her again.

Some say she's still out there, roaming the wasteland and avoiding Immortan Joe's war parties while subsisting on whatever she can raid from abandoned strip clubs.
 

Gob

International Coach
I'd already arranged for a new tenant so I had to tell her it wasn't (tbh I wasn't particularly sorry to see her go as while she was generally considerate and punctual with the rent she was the most disgusting eater - used to eat with her mouth open making revolting wet chewing sounds). She just replied "Oh god" in a kind of weak horror and hung up. Never heard from her again.

Some say she's still out there, roaming the wasteland and avoiding Immortan Joe's war parties while subsisting on whatever she can raid from abandoned strip clubs.
My god that went from a rom com to a B grade horror in no time

What happened with the replacement? Did you get to have ***ual intercourse with her?
 

SteveNZ

Cricketer Of The Year
Some say she's still out there, roaming the wasteland and avoiding Immortan Joe's war parties while subsisting on whatever she can raid from abandoned strip clubs.
Surely Hamilton is the perfect spot for her, then???
 

SteveNZ

Cricketer Of The Year
Incidentally, my loins are stirring for tonight's game. I don't much care for T20 but something about Australia NZ just gets me going.

I hope the Mayor of Oamaru and every other person is there in the crowd, ripping in.

This is the first international game at SKY Stadium for nigh-on two years (been 5 since an ODI), it should be electric.
 

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