Let's resuscitate this. Sorry for the flaking.
Robin Friday (Reading)
Crimes:
- Pissed away prodigious talents
- Stole a car at 16, skipped juvi because of his asthma, then stole another car
- Drunkard (scored an injury-time winner while inebriated), narcotic enthusiast, serial cheater, estranged his wife
- Publicly flashed girls in a nightclub
- Squirrel-gripper in games, justified as 'psychological warfare'
- Took a dump in a rival player's kitbag after first kicking him in the face
- Impersonated a police officer, went around confiscating heroin from local junkies, then used it himself
"On the pitch I hate all opponents. I don't give a damn about anyone. People think I'm mad, a lunatic. I am a winner." - Friday on Friday
"I'm half your age and I've lived twice your life." - On being told he could play for England if he got off the smack
"...turning up drunk to training carrying a swan..." - Extract from a Reading disciplinary report
"The policeman looked so cold and fed up standing there that I decided to cheer him up a bit." - After kissing a policeman on the pitch
Ron Atkinson (Manchester United)
Crimes:
-
Broadcasting a racist rant about Marcel Desailly worldwide
- Managing to be a worse United manager than David Moyes
- Expelled from Celebrity Big Brother for another racist remark
- Eventually got to the stage of
having a BBC interview titled
Am I A Racist?
"...he [Desailly] is what is known in some schools as a ****ing lazy thick ******." - On Desailly
"How are they defensively, attacking-wise?" - In the commentary box
"They've certainly grown, the Japanese. I mean grown in stature, playing-wise." - Atkinson cannot help himself
“In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg. But leukemia is worse still. Probably.” - And again
"I can't understand why there is such a population problem in China as they have the best contraception going: Chinese women are the ugliest in the world." - Again
“The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they’re not careful.” - On aging
"You're not carrying a bomb wearing that towel on your head are you?" - To a housemate coming out of the shower in the Celebrity Big Brother house
Luis Suarez (Liverpool, Uruguay)
Crimes:
-
Racially abused Patrice Evra, 8 match ban
-
Sank teeth into Branislav Ivanovic, 10 match ban
- After being defended by Liverpool for previous two incidents, began to actively court Arsenal for a move
-
Bit another guy at Ajax, 7 match ban
-
Handballed off the line what would have been a decisive goal by Ghana in 2010 World Cup, 1 match ban
-
Handballed a goal against Mansfield, FA Cup
- Prodigious diver
"He cheats, he dives, he hates the Jackson Five, Luis Suarez, Luis Suarez" - Chanting from the Kop stand at Anfield
"According to Evra's testimony, Suárez said in Spanish that he had earlier kicked Evra "because you are black", said "I don't speak to blacks" and used the word "negro" five times in total as they argued." - FA tribunal
"I made my own views clear, just as a dad watching the game, which is, I’ve got a seven-year-old son who loves football, loves watching football and when players behave like this it just sets the most appalling example to young people in this country." - David Cameron on the Ivanovic biting incident
-----
"Some minister of something, I don't know what, said I don't know what about me, that Suarez is I don't know what to the kids, to his son. He should care for the English people, he should try to do his job. I won't ask for more forgiveness." - Suarez's response to Cameron
"You wonder, does he realise how rich it is that he has turned to one of the newspapers he previously blamed for everything? Or whether he particularly cares now it is increasingly transparent how far he is willing to go to get his move to Arsenal and that, next, lawyers will be involved and Liverpool face the ultimate indignity of being reported to the authorities by the player they have cherished and protected and defended, often to the point of ridicule." - The Guardian
“Why, black?” - Suarez to Evra, after Evra told him not to touch him