Your best cricket sledge

[Daemon]

Greatest sledge ever :

Harbhajan to Symonds - "Teri Maa Ki".

we'll never know if that one's true for sure

does seem plausible though doesn't it?

 

[smash84]

Haha, there is a big mix-up of stories.

Sarwan and McGrath involved questions about what Lara's appendage tasted like, and then whether or not Mrs. McGrath would know.

Brandes and McGrath involved questioning about how Eddo got so large, and an explanation that included Mrs. McGrath, the bedroom and the biscuit tin.

It's like sorting out a bad version of Chinese Whispers.

True. Because the sources where people get these tid bits from are not quite reliable. But the case of chinese whispers does add a lot of spice to the events

 

[slowfinger]

Lol have you seen that spoof of Afridi and Ghambir?? Hilarious as.

 

[kingkallis]

Some classics :

Mark Waugh & Adam Parore :

MW standing at second slip, the new player ( Parore ) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.

Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ****ing useless now."

Parore ( turning around ) : "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married her, you dumb ****!".

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards :

During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say **** off.".

Robin Smith & Merv Hughes :

During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't ****ing bat." Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't ****ing bat & you can't ****ing bowl.

Malcolm Marshall & David Boon :

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga :

Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne :

As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

 

[Athlai]

 

[slowfinger]

Some classics :

Mark Waugh & Adam Parore :

MW standing at second slip, the new player ( Parore ) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.

Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ****ing useless now."

Parore ( turning around ) : "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married her, you dumb ****!".

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards :

During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say **** off.".

Robin Smith & Merv Hughes :

During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't ****ing bat." Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't ****ing bat & you can't ****ing bowl.

Malcolm Marshall & David Boon :

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga :

Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne :

As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

 

[Flem274*]

Some classics :

Mark Waugh & Adam Parore :

MW standing at second slip, the new player ( Parore ) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.

Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ****ing useless now."

Parore ( turning around ) : "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married her, you dumb ****!".

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards :

During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say **** off.".

Robin Smith & Merv Hughes :

During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't ****ing bat." Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't ****ing bat & you can't ****ing bowl.

Malcolm Marshall & David Boon :

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga :

Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne :

As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

gun

 

[kingkallis]

we'll never know if that one's true for sure

does seem plausible though doesn't it?

I thought it was 'Tu Monkey'

 

[Spikey]

Some classics :
Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga :

Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
.

My cat's sitting on my leg right now, so I can't get the book where this is mentioned, but I'm pretty sure this happened in a tour match and didn't involve Ranatunga. There's of course the "you don't get a runner for being a fat ****" Healy-Ranatunga one.


"He's later than a City rail train"

The opposition coach didn't like that one much and he got pretty angry at me and my team. U14's cricket = serious business.

 

[vic_orthdox]

Yeah, in the thread that Ikki linked to earlier, supposedly Healy said it to a South African batsman that I'd never heard of, makes sense that it would be in a tour match.

 

[Migara]

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga :

Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

The reply from the bowler's end is not much mentioned. Roshan Mahanama (IIRC) from bowlers end said "No use, David (Boon) will beat him to that"

 

[Faisal1985]

I quit sledging after this.....

Some 8 down tail ender from McGill University was batting rather slow and had blocked off nearly 3 overs from his end. I was on short leg position and I started going off on him saying in Urdu language some thing like..."its ok, let him bat fellows, its not like he gets to play for McGill every game anyways" etc etc...after a couple of overs of some rather annoying sledges, dude smacks one over mid wicket which seriously misses my face and lands on my car's windshield, parked in the parking lot. There must have been 100+ other cars parked there...

 

[smash84]

Some classics :

Mark Waugh & Adam Parore :

MW standing at second slip, the new player ( Parore ) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.

Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ****ing useless now."

Parore ( turning around ) : "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married her, you dumb ****!".

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards :

During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say **** off.".

Robin Smith & Merv Hughes :

During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't ****ing bat." Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't ****ing bat & you can't ****ing bowl.

Malcolm Marshall & David Boon :

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga :

Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne :

As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

That retort from Adam Parore was just too good......ROFL

 

[G.I.Joe]

Some classics :

Mark Waugh & Adam Parore :

MW standing at second slip, the new player ( Parore ) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.

Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ****ing useless now."

Parore ( turning around ) : "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut. And now I hear you've married her, you dumb ****!".


Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne :

As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

 

[Furball]

Dutch wicket-keeper to Hayden:

Get a single and get Gilly on strike. We haven't come halfway round the world to watch you bat, you're crap.

 

[andyc]

Malcolm Marshall & David Boon :

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Have heard this story before so many times, but FMD, I'd have been ****ting myself if I was Boonie.

 

[Faisal1985]

This year at my club we had a pakistan fast bowler/ should be an all rounder

and he had a ball thrown at him in the field and he thought nothing of it until

a few overs later he become subject to a bouncer atack and he was worked over quite badly

then a bowler sent him a bouner which he could only defend strait down to the short leg

the umpire gave him out

even when you knew it hadnt caried

so the fielder from earlier come in and says

(some bad language) you (more bad language) pakistani (bad language)

and the over seas lifts up his bat to the bowlers neck to wish half of the club squad run over, to be joined by the over seas V fielding side battle of the centuary

our batsman got revenge by bowling some of his fastest to get 6-12

You know why this is funny right.

 

[smash84]

You know why this is funny right.

I really don't quite understand what is happening here.........

 

[Faisal1985]

I really don't quite understand what is happening here.........

That's why its funny....cuz it doesn't make any sense to me.

 

[smash84]

That's why its funny....cuz it doesn't make any sense to me.

good one............