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World Cup 2010

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S

Steulen

International Regular
Uppercut said:


Pick your ideal scenario/nightmare scenarios.

Can't believe South Africa, Honduras, Algeria and Slovenia is possible :laugh:.
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Actually, that group is not possible, as SA will not get another African country in its group. Likewise, Brazil and Argentina will not face any of the three other South American qualifiers. So SA will play one of Uruguay, Paraguay and Chile.
 
grecian

grecian

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Quote from Ian 8-) Wright, which is being used as an advertisement for the Scums World Cup coverage "if you're an England fan going to the World Cup and you don't think England can win it, why are you going?". Oh I dunno Ian maybe because it's a wonderful place to visit in the world, it's the greatest sports tournament on the planet, the world's greatest footballers will be competing in a nail-biting finale (which ingerland won't be involved in) to see who get crowned the champions of the World for the next four years that will go down in history you ****ing moron.

Honestly the tabs sometimes make it really hard to be an England fan.
 
The Sean

The Sean

Cricketer Of The Year
grecian said:
Quote from Ian 8-) Wright, which is being used as an advertisement for the Scums World Cup coverage "if you're an England fan going to the World Cup and you don't think England can win it, why are you going?". Oh I dunno Ian maybe because it's a wonderful place to visit in the world, it's the greatest sports tournament on the planet, the world's greatest footballers will be competing in a nail-biting finale (which ingerland won't be involved in) to see who get crowned the champions of the World for the next four years that will go down in history you ****ing moron.

Honestly the tabs sometimes make it really hard to be an England fan.
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Ha ha yeah, I saw that and thought the same thing. So does it follow that no one from a country that has no chance of winning should bother showing up at all? I hope our South African friends have brushed on their Spanish and Portuguese if that's the case.

****ing muppet, dead set. Can't believe he gets paid to say these things.
 
Magrat Garlick

Magrat Garlick

Rather Mad Witch
The Sean said:
Fixed.

Cynical, moi?
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Does that really matter? Fairly equal strength imo

(For the record, Paraguay is the lowest ranked, but had the most points of the three in qualifying

Edit: Chile eventually drew level after Paraguay tossed away the last, meaningless, match at home.)
 
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marc71178

marc71178

Eyes not spreadsheets
grecian said:
Quote from Ian 8-) Wright, which is being used as an advertisement for the Scums World Cup coverage "if you're an England fan going to the World Cup and you don't think England can win it, why are you going?".
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Worse than that, when they talk about the great players England can take, he mentions Shaun Wright-Phillips.
 
Matteh

Matteh

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
He does the Channel 5 version of the ONE Show with Melinda Messenger and some other random woman. They're basically the worst people to have to listen to on any subject.

'Yeah so in the news is a story about child being neglected'
Ian Wright - 'I think neglecting children is wrong and anyone who does should be locked away'

Well there's a surprise, thanks for that amazing insight.
 
duffer

duffer

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
England, Australia, Uruguay and France please. Would be all kinds of awesomeness.

When does this start btw? Want to stay up for it.
 
SirBloody Idiot

SirBloody Idiot

Cricketer Of The Year
Found this elsewhere. Pretty quality:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Cape Town for the draw for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Now that we've ensured all our favourite teams made it, and executed the referee of the Slovenia-Russia playoff for allowing us to miss out on Russian blood rubles, we can finally make the draw, the canvas on which the World Cup painting will be made.

For the uninitiated, the draw procedure is as follows. The 32 teams (sorry Ireland... *snigger*) are divided into 4 pots, and one team from each pot goes into each of the 8 groups. The pots are as follows:

Pot 1: Argentina, Brazil, England, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, South Africa, Spain.
Pot 2: Australia, Honduras, Japan, Korea DPR, Korea Republic, Mexico, New Zealand, USA.
Pot 3: Algeria, Cameroon, Chile, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Nigeria, Paraguay, Uruguay.
Pot 4: Denmark, France, Greece, Portugal, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Switzerland.

Pot 1 consists of the hosts, South Africa, as well as the top 7 ranked teams in the October 2009 FIFA rankings. We decided to do it that way because these are the teams that will make us the most money, and we sort of had to be seen to be doing the right thing with the whole France situation. Which isn't really a situation at all, just a media beat up. The referee's always right, remember?

As if anyone cares about the other 3 pots, but they're on geographical grounds so that no more than 2 European teams are in any one group, and no more than one team from any other confederation.

So without further adoob, I hand you over now to Charlize Theron, looking stunning in her low cut, short red dress, to grab the balls... erm... from pot 1. South Africa are placed in group A as hosts, while the other 7 teams will be drawn from left to right into groups B-H. Go for it Charlize.

The first ball drawn, to go into group B, is... Argentina.
Into group C, go... Germany.
Group D... Netherlands.
Group E, the seeded team from this group will play in all the biggest, most revenue raising stadia (whispers) the cold one Charlize... What a surprise, it's Braz... Spain. Spain? I said the ****ing cold ball you stupid bitch! Women.

The next ball, into group F go... Brazil.
Group G... England
Which leaves in group H... of course, the defending champions, Italy. We'll make sure they get some favours from the referees.

We now move onto pot 2, consisting of the Asian, North American and Oceania representatives. Frankly, this bit doesn't matter. None of them will get out of the group stage anyway. For these teams, we also make a draw of the position they will occupy in the group, which is important to determine the order of matches. Back after her first wardrobe malfunction... I mean change, of the night, is Charlize Theron, now sporting a striking Bafana Bafana triangle bikini. Give the balls a good twirl, Charlize.

Joining the hosts in group A... Korea Republic. That's South Korea. The ones we like. And they go into position... A4, facing South Africa in their final group game.
Into group B go... New Zealand. New ****ing Zealand. Unbelievable. They're B4.
Group C... USA, to face Germany, as in the 2002 quarter final. They will take position... C4. Anyone would think we were deliberately giving the seeded teams easy final group games. The one part of the tournament that isn't rigged... what a coincidence.

Into group D go... Australia! Pim Verbeek to face his home country. The Socceroos get position D4.
Group E... Japan. Into position... E4!
Group F... Honduras. They go to F2.
Group G... Mexico join England. Mexico will be in G3.
Group H... that leaves Korea DPR. Hopefully they can recreate their 1966 heroics against Italy. Otherwise Kim Jong-Il will have the poor commies shot. They go into H3.

The groups as they stand:
A: South Africa, A2, A3, Korea Republic
B: Argentina, B2, B3, New Zealand
C: Germany, C2, C3, USA
D: Netherlands, D2, D3, Australia
E: Spain, E2, E3, Japan
F: Brazil, Honduras, F3, F4
G: England, G2, Mexico, G4
H: Italy, H2, Korea DPR, H4.

We move on now to pot 3. This is where it gets a bit more complicated, as we have to keep the African teams out of group A, and the South American teams out of groups B and F for geographical reasons. Therefore, the first 2 African teams to be drawn will go into groups B and F respectively, and the first South American team to be drawn will go into group A. So now we welcome back Charlize, wearing *cough* only a soccer ball G-string. This is the best draw ever. Over to you Charlize, stroke those balls, cup them in your hand, back and forth, mmm... erm, I mean, yes, the first ball please Charlize.

It's Paraguay. So they go into group A, and they are drawn into position... A2! So the opening match of the 2010 FIFA World Cup will be South Africa versus Paraguay... Christ, that's ****. Tell me why we're having it in South Africa again?

This means the remainder of the teams can be drawn left to right from group B-H.
Into group B go... Ivory Coast. They face a rematch with Argentina from 2006. They are B2.
Group C... Cameroon. They are in position C3.
Group D... Chile. Go into D3. So they will face the Socceroos in their first match.
Group E... Nigeria. They become E3.
Group F... Algeria. They go into... F3.
Group G... Ghana. And they are G2, a tough opening match for the English.
And that leaves Uruguay for group H. The 2-time champions are in position H2.

The groups as they stand:
A: South Africa, Paraguay, A3, Korea Republic
B: Argentina, Ivory Coast, B3, New Zealand
C: Germany, C2, Cameroon, USA
D: Netherlands, D2, Chile, Australia
E: Spain, E2, Nigeria, Japan
F: Brazil, Honduras, Algeria, F4
G: England, Ghana, Mexico, G4
H: Italy, Uruguay, Korea DPR, H4.

Finally now, pot 4. The remaining European teams, to complete the picture for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. God only knows what Charlize will be wearing when she re-app OH MY GOD she's completely naked. I can't take this anymore, I gotta get me some... *attempts to have his way with Charlize*. *Charlize screams and runs*. Haha... how awkward, who else can we get to do the draw. Ermmm... Is Haile Gebrselassie in the house? Haile? Oh he is. Thank God. No, it's ok Mr Gebrerseleb... Haile, you can keep your pants on. Thanks. Just draw the balls.

...
...

SECURITY!! Can we get some phone books, Haile can't reach pot 4. Cheers. Ok, draw the balls Haile.

Completing Group A are... no just throw it Haile, don't step down... Denmark.
Group B... Greece. Their match with New Zealand should be a belter. All 22 players in their own half of the pitch. Thrilling stuff.
Group C... France. Wow what a tough group, joining Germany, Cameroon and the USA.
Group D, and Australia's other opponent... Slovenia. They'll be happy with that.
Group E... Portugal. Ouch. Iberian rivalry there.
Group F... Serbia. Easy group for Brazil. As always.
Group G... Slovakia, and the Poms are celebrating that news.
Which leaves, group H... Switzerland.

And so completes the draw for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. We can't wait to see you all on June 11, for the opening match between South Africa and Paraguay. South Africa and Paraguay. I have to keep repeating that. **** me.

The final groups are:
A: South Africa, Paraguay, Denmark, Korea Republic
B: Argentina, Ivory Coast, Greece, New Zealand
C: Germany, France, Cameroon, USA
D: Netherlands, Slovenia, Chile, Australia
E: Spain, Portugal, Nigeria, Japan
F: Brazil, Honduras, Algeria, Serbia
G: England, Ghana, Mexico, Slovakia
H: Italy, Uruguay, Korea DPR, Switzerland

Now I'm off to find that whore Theron. Crazy bitch couldn't even draw Brazil when she was meant to. She must be punished...
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