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Weakest sledges

ankitj

Hall of Fame Member
Zaheer Khan tried to sledge Gilly in first over of 2003 world cup final. Rest is history.
 

bagapath

International Captain
It's years since I've played anything resembling "serious" cricket. It tends to be the odd friendly game here and there for a pub or club. A couple of years ago I played and missed twice and then edged the third ball over the keeper for four. He said "Are you always such a lucky ****". I said "Yep, every time I sleep with your wife she gives me a biscuit". It didn't actually make any sense, I'd just always wanted to say it ever since it entered sledging folklore and my chances were running out, so I decided to just say it next time anyone said anything while I was batting.
Nobel Prize standard sledge
 

fredfertang

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
It's years since I've played anything resembling "serious" cricket. It tends to be the odd friendly game here and there for a pub or club. A couple of years ago I played and missed twice and then edged the third ball over the keeper for four. He said "Are you always such a lucky ****". I said "Yep, every time I sleep with your wife she gives me a biscuit". It didn't actually make any sense, I'd just always wanted to say it ever since it entered sledging folklore and my chances were running out, so I decided to just say it next time anyone said anything while I was batting.
What reaction did you get?
 

Burgey

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Not a sledge as such but on LT's theme of appropriating famous cricketing comments, a mate of mine was walking out to bat just as his wife rang.she was asked if she would like to hold on because he probably wouldn't be very long.
 

Daemon

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"ek end se jihad, doosre end se etihad" (jihad from one end, etihad from the other)

Wasnt a sledge, just shouted it out to our guys in the middle because the pitch from one end was ****ed and impossible to score from while the other was decent. We needed like 7 an over and everyone kept getting out at the ****** end.
 

Kirkut

International Regular
"ek end se jihad, doosre end se etihad" (jihad from one end, etihad from the other)

Wasnt a sledge, just shouted it out to our guys in the middle because the pitch from one end was ****ed and impossible to score from while the other was decent. We needed like 7 an over and everyone kept getting out at the ****** end.

Haha that's a very middle eastern/gulf sledge.
 

Marius

International Debutant
Once I somehow made 30-odd using my usual batting style of sticking my bat in front of my pad and hoping for the best. As one can imagine that doesn't lend itself to an exactly explosive way of batting.

In any case, the team we played that day had two guys on their side who had played second team provincial cricket and they were QUICK.

The one fellow who had played at that level bowled a full toss on my hip which I glanced for four (the only boundary of my innings). The next ball was a yorker which I blocked. He snarled: 'Hit the f***ing ball man,' and I replied with, 'Well, I just hit you for four.'

Pretty dire, all round.
 

Migara

International Coach
This was a university match and one of a eminent batsman, (who played test, ODI and T20 for SL) was the opposition captain. I was #10, and we were reeling at 120/8 in 25 overs with one guy on 45*. Match was 35 overs. i walk in to bat, and a leggie is preparing to bowl. Opposition captain gets a slip, a short leg in and stations him at short cover. I was practising leave and back foot defence. He yelled at me "yo, fat bastard, your off drive is going to land right here" , and he showed his cupped hands. I once again practice the back foot defence.

Bowler sends a flighted, loopy leg break, and before I know, i am down the track, moving through leg, and ball approaching the hitting arc. I let a crashing flat, lofted cover drive, which travels just passed short covers head, bounces once and goes to boundary (I was beastly strong 15 years back). I look at the opposition captain and said "mind your ****ing head boy".

Slip and short leg disappears, and I never hit a boundary after that. However, we went up to 181/8, my self scoring 12*, and other guys playing and taking the demoralised attack apart. I cam back to take 4 wickets and won the match in style.
 

Migara

International Coach
The most insulting / personal / creative sledge (according to your view point) I had dished out was at a batsman, whose girl has run away with a pilot. Every time I ran pass him, I would imitate an aeroplane landing, with the wooshing sound. Later we became friends, and he was in opinion, I was the nastiest brat he has ever seen on a cricket field.
 
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social

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
In my first season of grade, I played with a guy who tried to emulate Dennis Lillee in every way (long hair, big moustache, headband, gold chain, unbuttoned shirt - the whole 9 yards) including by sledging non stop when bowling

Unfortunately for all concerned, he was terrible at it and generally just repeated stuff that everyone had heard a million times (e.g. couldnt hit it with a surfboard)

He generally just made a fool of himself whilst boring everyone else

Anyway, one of his party pieces was to gently underarm the ball down the pitch towards the batsman to give him a chance of hitting at least one ball that day

One day he did it to the wrong person who simply picked the ball up, smashed it miles away & straight through the window of the bowler's car

The bowler went absolutely nuts and was almost in tears whilst pleading with the umpire to do something whilst the rest of us rolled about in laughter
 

Black_Warrior

Cricketer Of The Year
Brings me to 07/08 Border Gavaskar Trophy in Aus, back then Indian players took sledges personally instead of casual fun. I remember in Adelaide test Michael Clarke sledged Tendulkar by calling him too old and to retire, Sehwag reacts by saying something similar to "Do you know how many runs he has scored? Do you know how many centuries he has made?"
Dude, I know it's the digital age and all but Australia lost a dear friend not too long ago. Too early to refer to it as 'back then" IMO
 

YorksLanka

International Debutant
one to me that made me laugh was as I was batting, the keeper says: you got some **** at the end of your bat and as I picked it up and looked at the toe, he says"no the other end"..i just replied well done and proceeded to score 87..

another, a few weeks ago actually, is that as I came into bat the keeper remarked that there would be no quick singles with this fat ****** here, I turned to him and said you're right but your wife likes something to hold onto..didn't say a word after that.

finally I was in hysterics playing last week when one of our youngsters shouts out "someone get some L plates as this guy clearly doesn't know how to drive"..well played young man..
 
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