The "Channel 9 Commentary Is Hurting Brain" Thread

[Smudge]

Cheers ****.

No worries, ****face. To be fair, they weren't helped by some of the most inept multi-camera directing I've seen.

 

[benchmark00]

Genuine chokefest in the final.

 

[howardj]

Anyone hear Warne calling the third umpire officious? Super officious? He seemed to mean it as a compliment, too.

Yeah, heard that.

I think officious means 'to throw your weight around'/'be heavy handed' etc.

He must have thought it meant efficient or good or some such.

 

[Spikey]

Couldn't help but think of recent events when Warne told us "An inch makes such a difference"

 

[Rant0r]

Chappelli's work, wasn't it? He's usually very good at that kind of thing.

He's good at being an arrogant know it all (thinks) prat

 

[Rant0r]

YouTube - "Ponting Is Crap" - Jeff Thomson - Ladbrokes Pre-Ashes Launch

I love me some Thommo.

BAHAHAHAHA Gold

 

[Jayzamann]

Love Richie soso much. He's on Warnie's tacky new talk show and is doing his usual name dropping with amusing anecdotes, and he said that last year he signed on for three more seasons in the comms.

Now there's a montage of his zingers. Nice.

 

[howardj]

I can confirm that both Rich and Bill will be back tomorrow, and that Chappelli will be rotated out.

Chapps will still be at the game (and probably later in the car park, Beefy) commentating for Test Match Special.

 

[Craig]

Not so much the Ch 9 commentary team, but I seen an ad for Ch 9 Brisbane news, and they try to trump up Ian Healy's (sport) news reading and cricket analysis ability, by using terms as "legendary experience", and that Healy is a former captain of Australia? Unless I'm very much mistaken, Healy never captained Australia in Tests, although he captained Australia in a handful of ODIs as a stand-in IIRC, but I don't think they would count in being called a "former Australian captain".

So cringeworthy.

 

[benchmark00]

As if you wouldn't count that as former captaincy. Even if you filled in for one session of a match as captain of Australia I'd be claiming it.

Having said that, Healy's a knob an a dead****, so he's ideal to read news to queenslanders...

 

[Smudge]

"Don't go anywhere because this is when a hatrick occurs. This is when someone goes bang, bang, bang and all of a sudden, England are on the ropes."

Healy is either:

a) an eternal optimist
b) a master of sarcasm
c) a ****faced ****
d) all of the above.

 

[Craig]

"Don't go anywhere because this is when a hatrick occurs. This is when someone goes bang, bang, bang and all of a sudden, England are on the ropes."

Healy is either:

a) an eternal optimist
b) a master of sarcasm
c) a ****faced ****
d) all of the above.

Michael Slater isn't any better. Hoping for five wickets to fall in five balls

I used to rate Slater as a commentator, when he did work for Fox Sports, and then he moved to Ch 9, and is just a douche bag.

 

[Spark]

I thought Slater was better this year. Come on, "five wickets in five balls" - you can see he's being deliberately facetious. Healy, not so much.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

I love the way the commentators on C9 are always asking questions about how many questions the bowlers are questioning of the questionable batsmen. With all these questions flying about, I just hope one of these pillocks has some ****ing answers.

 

[BoyBrumby]

Maybe it's because they're catering for an Aussie audience, but Warne and Slater (two comms I rate highly) do seem to be a lot more jingoistic on 9 than when they've had gigs for Sky or Ch4 respectively up here.

I guess because the natural English position is reflective, mildly resigned self-criticism, our comms don't tend to bang the drum quite as loudly, with one or two exceptions (Botham and Bumble principally, and even Bumble's pro-Englishness is usually playfully ironic too).

 

[Goughy]

"Don't go anywhere because this is when a hatrick occurs. This is when someone goes bang, bang, bang and all of a sudden, England are on the ropes."

Healy is either:

a) an eternal optimist
b) a master of sarcasm
c) a ****faced ****
d) all of the above.

Sat in a bar with a mix of England and Australia fans and then Healy said this and the English all looked around bewildered and the Australians hung their heads in shame.

It was just so bizzare and non-sensical. It wasnt just bad commentary it was ...it was...I honestly dont have the words to adequately describe it.

Does he drink?

 

[Jono]

"Don't go anywhere because this is when a hatrick occurs. This is when someone goes bang, bang, bang and all of a sudden, England are on the ropes."

Healy is either:

a) an eternal optimist
b) a master of sarcasm
c) a ****faced ****
d) all of the above.

Benchy's favourite type of commentary.

 

[Bun]

They say Nine is trying to cater to the lowest common denominator. I am genuinely worried about Australia if that has any scientific backing.

 

[benchmark00]

Benchy's favourite type of commentary.

Would still take that over a group of nerdy **** ****s unsuccessfully trying to take the piss out of cricketers in between games of Warcraft... AKA Test Match Sofa.

 

[Jono]

Listen to ABC Grandstand then douchebag