Robertinho
Cricketer Of The Year
Shut your face Camps, Dave Watt's mullet has twice the length of any mullet of yours.
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*Official* CW XI Media Coverage
- Thread starter Mr Mxyzptlk
- Start date
James90
Cricketer Of The Year
"Promotional work was for the benefit of the club" Stedman
by Gary Gangrene
Former CW Red batsman James Stedman has dismissed claims by Marc Robbins that a lack of focus on the game during the off-season. "The revenue I was bringing in was purely for the benefit of the club and in particular financially troubled captain Dave Watt". Stedman went on to compare himself to ex-Formula One driver Enrique Bernoldi who kept the Arrows team afloat by the advertising he provided. When it was pointed out that Bernoldi couldn't steer a shopping trolley through Coles, Stedman responded "Well that's ridiculous...shopping trolley's don't have steering wheels".
Displaying anger at team management Stedman has confirmed that he would like his new team CW Black to "crush the ******s" when the two teams meet on September 16.
"With a hectic international schedule ahead I would be interested to see how they [CW Reds] will compile a batting lineup".
"I believe my best cricket is ahead of me and the signing of David Kearsley will just leave a larger void when Pakistan arrive".
"I would like to thank the support of Rob Dauth and Ken Dobson, both of whom will receive signed photographs in the mail next week".
Later it was established that Stedman's greatest regret about being traded to CW Black is that he will remain in the same camp as Nick Borcich. "I've never been able to enjoy bonding sessions...it's just not fair" said Stedman, whose angular nose looked more scrumptious than usual.
by Gary Gangrene
Former CW Red batsman James Stedman has dismissed claims by Marc Robbins that a lack of focus on the game during the off-season. "The revenue I was bringing in was purely for the benefit of the club and in particular financially troubled captain Dave Watt". Stedman went on to compare himself to ex-Formula One driver Enrique Bernoldi who kept the Arrows team afloat by the advertising he provided. When it was pointed out that Bernoldi couldn't steer a shopping trolley through Coles, Stedman responded "Well that's ridiculous...shopping trolley's don't have steering wheels".
Displaying anger at team management Stedman has confirmed that he would like his new team CW Black to "crush the ******s" when the two teams meet on September 16.
"With a hectic international schedule ahead I would be interested to see how they [CW Reds] will compile a batting lineup".
"I believe my best cricket is ahead of me and the signing of David Kearsley will just leave a larger void when Pakistan arrive".
"I would like to thank the support of Rob Dauth and Ken Dobson, both of whom will receive signed photographs in the mail next week".
Later it was established that Stedman's greatest regret about being traded to CW Black is that he will remain in the same camp as Nick Borcich. "I've never been able to enjoy bonding sessions...it's just not fair" said Stedman, whose angular nose looked more scrumptious than usual.
Robertinho
Cricketer Of The Year
"Stedman was a gentle, loving man" - Dauth defends former teammate
Struggling CW Red batsman Dauth has leapt to the defence of former teammate and long term partner James Stedman. "Everything he did was for the club," Dauth said, "He didn't have a selfish bone in his body. I don't know how he found the time, but he devoted any free time he had to enhancing the image of the club and helping out in any way he could."
"He helped alot, in particular, with the Nick Borcich Fund for Inadequacy, which is now obviously defunct. It was really great, he went into their centres and just spoke to the kids. I never went myself because I had enough trouble dealing with [Nick] Borcich, but he said alot of the kids really seemed to appreciate that he was there," he explained, "He always came back with ****s drawn all over his forehead but I think that's just their way of saying hello."
"He wasn't only a star off the field, you can tell that he is about to step his onfield performance up a notch soon. I think it's a shame that it won't be whilst wearing Red..."
Struggling CW Red batsman Dauth has leapt to the defence of former teammate and long term partner James Stedman. "Everything he did was for the club," Dauth said, "He didn't have a selfish bone in his body. I don't know how he found the time, but he devoted any free time he had to enhancing the image of the club and helping out in any way he could."
"He helped alot, in particular, with the Nick Borcich Fund for Inadequacy, which is now obviously defunct. It was really great, he went into their centres and just spoke to the kids. I never went myself because I had enough trouble dealing with [Nick] Borcich, but he said alot of the kids really seemed to appreciate that he was there," he explained, "He always came back with ****s drawn all over his forehead but I think that's just their way of saying hello."
"He wasn't only a star off the field, you can tell that he is about to step his onfield performance up a notch soon. I think it's a shame that it won't be whilst wearing Red..."
ash chaulk
International Captain
Robertinho said:
hahahaha
Travis_Teh
International Regular
long term partner, fair enough.
Jungle Jumbo
International Vice-Captain
A Possible Blackout?
Following the news that CW Black legspinner and Under 19 captain George Roberts will be sidelined for more than a month by a football-related injury, there are murmurings in the press that there is some a little more shadowy going on in the Black camp.
A former youth player for Pickford Town FC, Roberts has been said to have never trained without his shin-pads, and to have openly criticised those who did so.
Rumours suggest that recent Black signing Nick Borcich missed one of his twice-daily 'Chill-Pills', as prescribed by Doctor Fraz, a Canadian expert at Nixonstown Academy. The result was a hideous challenge that split flesh from Robert's fibula and ripped a calf muscle clean in two. Roberts is still recuperating at Pickford General.
Black have denied any of the alleged incidences, and maintain that the injury was a result of Roberts' lack of shin-pads. Captain Neil Pickup was unavailable to comment.
Following the news that CW Black legspinner and Under 19 captain George Roberts will be sidelined for more than a month by a football-related injury, there are murmurings in the press that there is some a little more shadowy going on in the Black camp.
A former youth player for Pickford Town FC, Roberts has been said to have never trained without his shin-pads, and to have openly criticised those who did so.
Rumours suggest that recent Black signing Nick Borcich missed one of his twice-daily 'Chill-Pills', as prescribed by Doctor Fraz, a Canadian expert at Nixonstown Academy. The result was a hideous challenge that split flesh from Robert's fibula and ripped a calf muscle clean in two. Roberts is still recuperating at Pickford General.
Black have denied any of the alleged incidences, and maintain that the injury was a result of Roberts' lack of shin-pads. Captain Neil Pickup was unavailable to comment.
Mr Mxyzptlk
Request Your Custom Title Now!
It's all down to weak captaincy IMO.
ash chaulk
International Captain
COLLINS TIME TO STEP UP
ADAM COLLINS TIME TO GET READY.
I've been watching a few players lately and one that stands out alot is 21year old Triple A Collins. Not only is this man making the CW XI selectors take notice hes also getting alot of attention from the "Ladies".
AAA Collins has slowly become the pin up boy at CW Blue with appearences in Special womens magazines Womens Weekday, FLEO and Dollie. Not afraid to take his top off he's even getting some attention from his team mates in particularly CW Keeper Alex Crampton another potential CW XI player.
Triple A's Economy rate is what should make him a Test Regular Bowling those goofy Left Arm Mediums down the pitch and causing CW Development league batsmen bamboozled. Collins best delivery "The Whippy" where he runs in twisting and prancing all while making the sounds of an ice cream man(doo doo dooooo do do do doooo) has been the most succesful delivery of all time CW History resulting in over 200 FC dismissals.
In Collins last match against CW Red he dismissed CW XI members Mork and Mamesh. Mork was getting on top of Collins until Triple A took his top off revealing his guns and ripped stomach. Mork couldnt keep his off Collins and was Bowled. All this revealing the tricks AAA has in his bag.
With Liam Camps not getting any younger surely there must be a few games where AAA Collins is tested in he CW Test team.
ARTHUR believes that if the CW Board don't give Collins a run soon they will be disappointed when the man turns 30 makes his debut and shows the Board what might have been years before.
ARTHUR
September 06
You can pick up the latest Adam Collins model shoot in this months edition of Dollie magazine where he reveals dirty secrets coming from the depth of his heart
AAA Collins FC Record as of end of season 10
270 wickets at 25.23 eco 2.11 BB 5 for 31
ADAM COLLINS TIME TO GET READY.
I've been watching a few players lately and one that stands out alot is 21year old Triple A Collins. Not only is this man making the CW XI selectors take notice hes also getting alot of attention from the "Ladies".
AAA Collins has slowly become the pin up boy at CW Blue with appearences in Special womens magazines Womens Weekday, FLEO and Dollie. Not afraid to take his top off he's even getting some attention from his team mates in particularly CW Keeper Alex Crampton another potential CW XI player.
Triple A's Economy rate is what should make him a Test Regular Bowling those goofy Left Arm Mediums down the pitch and causing CW Development league batsmen bamboozled. Collins best delivery "The Whippy" where he runs in twisting and prancing all while making the sounds of an ice cream man(doo doo dooooo do do do doooo) has been the most succesful delivery of all time CW History resulting in over 200 FC dismissals.
In Collins last match against CW Red he dismissed CW XI members Mork and Mamesh. Mork was getting on top of Collins until Triple A took his top off revealing his guns and ripped stomach. Mork couldnt keep his off Collins and was Bowled. All this revealing the tricks AAA has in his bag.
With Liam Camps not getting any younger surely there must be a few games where AAA Collins is tested in he CW Test team.
ARTHUR believes that if the CW Board don't give Collins a run soon they will be disappointed when the man turns 30 makes his debut and shows the Board what might have been years before.
ARTHUR
September 06
You can pick up the latest Adam Collins model shoot in this months edition of Dollie magazine where he reveals dirty secrets coming from the depth of his heart
AAA Collins FC Record as of end of season 10
270 wickets at 25.23 eco 2.11 BB 5 for 31
FaaipDeOiad
Hall of Fame Member
The Whippy always gives me the ***** in the nets, to be honest.
Travis_Teh
International Regular
Interesting media report.
dontcloseyoureyes
BARNES OUT
Chaulkese.David said:
ash chaulk
International Captain
great article ARTHUR keep up the good workash chaulk said: