Looking for a home

[Terry Yorath]

Hi there

I have been working in professional sports for the best part of my life and after successful career as a player with Leeds FC (no longer in the premiership ) and as manager with Milwall I have turned my hand to my fourth love (behind women and fast cars), cricket. I have recently returned from a stint as player manager of the Riverton Amateur District 4th League Reserve team in a local Perth (Aus) competition. Given my experiences in Perth with cricket, the lifestyle and the ladies I openly encourage my players to do the same in the UK.

I have a young disciple by the name of Thomas (Tommy) 'ansell, particularly keen on player somewhere in the UK. Tommy is stouch left hand opener with some UK experience playing in the Sommerset Haddock and Fries second XII fixture during his junior career. The stats are not important but his value to the team is his ability to 'stick it out' under pressure, and provides useful variety with his mixed-bag, slow right arm thoftbreaks.

I believe that you have the services of a local lad by the name of Shane Lavender at your club? Can you tell me a little about how he was enlisted by your club and his experiences to date so that I may have some success in locating a home for Tommy soonest?

sincerely

Terry

 

[Craig]

Hi there

I have been working in professional sports for the best part of my life and after successful career as a player with Leeds FC (no longer in the premiership ) and as manager with Milwall

What years were they?

Anyway welcome aboard.

 

[marc71178]

Terry Yorath was Wales Manager as well.

 

[Haggers]

Terry
What an honour to converse with you in such a forum. Your deeds on the football pitch preceed you however I was unaware of your latent passion for our great game. What a co incidence that I have actually witnessed one of the aforementioned teams play whilst on my travels in Perth. I believe they played against a strong outfit known as the ****burn ****roaches. On this particular day a potent father / son combination by the names of Chris and Rob Smith performed honourably but failed to get your boys across the line in what was an epic tussle all day. Another youngster of interest was Keith Tipping. Has he developed into a leg break bowler of note in that league? I too as you may have seen in my earlier communique am interested in this young Perth lad named Shane Lavender. When I last saw him he had a solid defensive technique however limited strokeplay. I believe his mentor and coach was this lad from Notts (of whom I am also keen to gain information on) Young Welton. Can you or any other of our learned collegues shed any light on this?
Yours in cricket
Haggers

 

[Terry Yorath]

Haggers

I believe we have crossed paths and possibly swords at one or two Perth late night, filly-infested fixtures? This Keith Tipping to whom you so fondly refer: where might one get in touch with said yoth? He would greatly compliment our current line up and add some stiff competition for a place for said Tommy 'ansell. Do you know of Thomas and his exploits? Your theorems would be gratefully entertained

Kindest regards

TY

 

[Yarnos Theoros]

Hello

Just browsing the internet and could not help but noticing a query on the whereabouts of one Tom 'ansell. I believe 'ansell has taken up residence with the WDCC Rats for the past 15 years as a player/coach/mentor offering precisely donoughts to the career development of yoraths at that particular fixture.

I too have heard about Keith Tipping; showed a fair bit of potential under the astute leadership of a Todd P Lavender (if anyone knows of his whereabouts please let me know) in the Thay League of 1996/97. His subsequent career has been chequered to say the least, periods of retirement intertwined with periods of briyence and filth. I believe he is currently wanted for fraud by the NCA after some shady business transactions went pear.

I am on the look out for a new club next year, if anyone is interested please let me know. I am a left arm swing bowler in the mould of Salim Jaffer and effective late order slogger. I learned my craft under the inspired toutelage of one Ian Akram (former Essendon great) and have consumed many libations with his son Norbert, who incidentally is a keen cricketer. A fresh start is what I need so dont hesitate to contact me if you need a henuine rope dawg at your club next summer.

Regards

Yarnos

 

[Mr Mick Grager]

Enhancement

Dear Mr Theoros,

As head barman of the WDCC and incumbant stalwart at Gosnells Golf Club, I have seen several punishing innings from Ansell in the fourth league. In fact, he challenged the Goat Herder's mantle as leading batsman one year by posting a highly competitive average of 9.37 with a highest score of 17 vs Rockingham Mandurah. This innings was personified by lacing cover drives through third man, stouch nudges through the backward square region and several rather bizarre hand movements. However, if you are an aspiring young thoffy, I suggest you target Ansells weakness against the slow straight break that was exploited so beautifully by my successor behind the WDCC bar, - the chunky woodpacker from Manjimup. With precision and guile the woodpacker pitched a beautifully directed straight back at the base of the off stump and left Ansell high and dry with no where to go. I remember the day as Ansell simply put his head down and walked home (He only lives a cover drive away). Keep up the Thereoms and I just heard that the Goatherder has been spotted on the outskirts of Fallujah.
Mick the barman

 

[Yarnos Theoros]

Butter it

Mick

thank you for your recollections of yet another impressive 'Ansell display. His strokeplay is matched only by his people skills.

According to CricInfo the Goat Herder flayed a stimulating 123 in the 2nd innings to spearhead the Fallujah Falcons to victory over the Kabul Kings in the 4th round of the Al-Jazzeria Cup last weekend. On a traditional dusty Kabul track he drove and swept with customary precision to register his 17th hundred for the Falcons. The WDCC are certainly feeling his loss and to this day have not adequately replaced his presence in the fourth league. Numerous yoraths have been tried but none are up to the Goat Herders lofty mark.

Sincerely

Yarnos :

 

[Langeveldt]

Dear Mr Theoros,

As head barman of the WDCC and incumbant stalwart at Gosnells Golf Club, I have seen several punishing innings from Ansell in the fourth league. In fact, he challenged the Goat Herder's mantle as leading batsman one year by posting a highly competitive average of 9.37 with a highest score of 17 vs Rockingham Mandurah. This innings was personified by lacing cover drives through third man, stouch nudges through the backward square region and several rather bizarre hand movements. However, if you are an aspiring young thoffy, I suggest you target Ansells weakness against the slow straight break that was exploited so beautifully by my successor behind the WDCC bar, - the chunky woodpacker from Manjimup. With precision and guile the woodpacker pitched a beautifully directed straight back at the base of the off stump and left Ansell high and dry with no where to go. I remember the day as Ansell simply put his head down and walked home (He only lives a cover drive away). Keep up the Thereoms and I just heard that the Goatherder has been spotted on the outskirts of Fallujah.
Mick the barman

Hahaha, brilliant

 

[Mr Mick Grager]

The Grager Break

To all my loyal supporters out there you will be pleased to know I have developed a lethal new delivery called the Grager Break.

During the course of my delivery stride (For those that don't know I am a useful left arm orthodox bowler) I switch the ball for a FooWin Dim Sim delivering this down at a rate of knots. While the batsman is concentrating on the errand dimsim I slide in my beautifully pitched arm ball rapping the batsman on the pads, leaving the umpire with little hesitation.

The Grager Break will be the next doosra and for those Thindians that regularly frequent this site I reckon the delivery would be equally effective using chicken tikka masala as a decoy.

I have bowled the Goatherder with this ball 3 times to date - prize scalp and confirmation that the Grager Break is the next big thing
Cheers
Mick the barman

 

[Langeveldt]

To all my loyal supporters out there you will be pleased to know I have developed a lethal new delivery called the Grager Break.

During the course of my delivery stride (For those that don't know I am a useful left arm orthodox bowler) I switch the ball for a FooWin Dim Sim delivering this down at a rate of knots. While the batsman is concentrating on the errand dimsim I slide in my beautifully pitched arm ball rapping the batsman on the pads, leaving the umpire with little hesitation.

The Grager Break will be the next doosra and for those Thindians that regularly frequent this site I reckon the delivery would be equally effective using chicken tikka masala as a decoy.

I have bowled the Goatherder with this ball 3 times to date - prize scalp and confirmation that the Grager Break is the next big thing
Cheers
Mick the barman

And eddie has some competition....

 

[lord_of_darkness]

no doubt.. same age group?

 

[Langeveldt]

Haha... Same drinking group??

 

[Nate]

more like same ward...

 

[lord_of_darkness]

^ ahah yea that too.. and langs got it right too..

 

[Haggers]

The Grager Break

Mr M. Grager, (I hope you do not object to me using your initial)
As you would no doubt be aware from all of my previous posts I have some latent interests in some clubs in Australia. Upon reading this so called "Grager Break" I am intreagued as to the potential of such a delivery.
You state in your post that this aforementioned ball has dismissed the illustrious "Goathearer" and as a result my interest has been aroused.
Are you available (a sizable cash payment is not out of the question) to work with a small number of the young developing spinners at my club to attempt to impart some of your skill and knowledge as to this revolutionary ball.
I believe it would be most most useful in the 3rd Conference where there is a definate suseptibility to quality spinning variation.
It saddens me that our other collegues on this site seem to be dismissing you with a lighthearted nature and cannot fully appreciate the magnitude of such a ball. I thought they were committed to the development of our great game as we are.
I can be contacted at jeremy@noodleinn.com.au . I look forward to hearing from you to discuss terms and conditions of what I see as being an integral role within the 3rd Conference in season 2004/2004.
Yours in cricket

Haggers

 

[Mr Mick Grager]

Thanks

Haggers,

Thank you for your staunch assistance in the launching of my new delivery. During the recent cat flu epidemic there was a distinct shortage of dim sims available from the Foo Mun but Jeremy has been of great assistance in providing a manufactured replacement he discovered in the back streets of Kooching.
Good luck to all the batsman out there that don't take this ball seriously, you are in for a rude awakening. What rule are you going to plead to thumpire? "No way thats not out he put me off with a dim sim made of cat meat". The thumpire will deem you dillusional and commit you to seven fixtures with JT's yorath.
Has anyone heard from Shane Lavender? He owes me a Coulthard.
Mick the Barman

 

[Yarnos Theoros]

Mick

i am one of many learned wardians who are worried that the recent ceremonial defacing of the world renowned Foo Win Restuarant means that development of the Grager Break is on hold. Can you indicate any contingency plans should the supply of dim sims dry up??

Sincerely,

Yarnos

P.s. the Moscow Mule is definiately the next big thing on the circoot.

 

[Langeveldt]

Brilliant, we should advertise this thread in OT.. classic...

 

[Haggers]

Langers ( I hope you do not mind me calling you Langers) as in Langerveldt.

Fistly are you any relation to the South poosy opeing Batsman of the same name or the entrepeneurial D Langerveldt of Eagle boys fame?

What is this OT of which you speak and have you come across any such delivery (ie Grager Break) in your travels around the home of Cricket.

I am interested to know if this delivery has been patented in any of the conferences in your fair land.

Looking forward to your reply and to any others who may have witnessed what is certain to revolutionise our game.

Regards

Haggers