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Legendary/ATG cricketing conversations

Nikhil99.99

U19 Cricketer
There are so many All time great conversations between 2 cricketers,a cricketer and reporter and others.So,this thread is for the propose of posting those ATG conversations.
First of all I will like to post a conversation between a journalist and Bill O’Reilly.
The journalist: “Mr O’Reilly,did you ever tried to mankad anybody?”
Bill O’Reilly: “Son,I never found a batsman that keen to get to the other end”
 

trundler

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I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.
 

a massive zebra

International Captain
Mark Waugh asked Englishman James Ormond, “What are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England.” To that, he replied - “Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family”.
 

a massive zebra

International Captain
Glenn McGrath casually asked Eddo Brandes, ”Why are you so fat?”

Eddo Brandes, the Zimbabwean bowler, didn’t miss the opportunity and quickly replied, “Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
 

a massive zebra

International Captain
An epic battle between W.G. Grace and Charles Kortwright in the match between Gloucestershire and Essex in 1898:

Kortright definitely had a vicious streak. Playing an army side he once took exception to one of the officers taking a stance with a raised left toe. Kortright explained he allowed no-one but WG himself to **** his toe at at him, and ordered the batsman to desist. When he declined, Kortright simply blitzed the offending foot with yorkers until he caught it with a direct hit and broke it.

Grace's ****ed foot might have gone unchallenged, but that was about the only concession Korty allowed, and what followed after lunch at Leyton was the start of a great duel. Kortright ran like fire though the Gloucestershire upper order but he could not shift Grace whom he hit repeatedly on the gloves. His bowling was described as 'absolutely terrific. He was banging ball after ball down with almost reckless virulence, but WG never seemed perturbed...' Grace's response to Kortright's continuous short pitched bowling was to advance down half the length of the pitch to pat the wicket where the majority of his deliveries were aimed, a gesture which did not go unnoticed by the crowd. Grace supported only by Townsend (51) scored 126. Kortright took 5 for 41....

The rowdy section were to have more to shout about during Gloucestershire's second innings. Chasing only 148 to win, their task seemed a mere formality. However they were starting their innings at 5.15pm with an hour and a quarter to bat before close, and by now Kortright was seriously angry...It was quite clear that the man - as opposed to the wicket - in Kortright's sights was WG. Gone was the off-stump line in the first innings. Now he aimed straight at the inviting bulk of the Champion and got him repeatedly. On one occasion he struck him on the stomach, and play was held up while Grace set off on a recuperative hobble round the wicket-keeper, who was standing many yards back...

Grace rose magnificently to the challenge, drawing on his inexhaustible supplies of courage, skill and cussedness. When Kortright was rested, Mead had a spell. At one point, Grace hit what the Essex team was sure was a return catch. So certain indeed that no one appealed, until they saw Grace calmly settling himself for the next delivery. On appeal, the umpire raised his finger only to retract it when Grace roared down the pitch, 'what George?'

If Kortright had been angry before, this drove him to the pitch of homicidal fury and he signed off a day of blood and thunder with a final burst of aggression. His last over consisted almost exclusively of bouncers, one of which Grace tipped into the slips. The chance, such as it was, was not accepted...

Battle was resumed the next morning. Gloucestershire had scored 81 off the 148 they needed, but now the wicket was deteriorating. Kortright, refreshed from a night's rest..tore into the attack. Grace kept him at bay and had inched the score up to 96 when the fast bowler summoned everything for one last fling. He hit Grace's front pad plum in front of the wicket and appealed with the heartfelt relief of a man who knows he has achieved his aim. From half-way down the wicket he watched mesmerised as Grace, through sheer power of personality, willed the umpire to keep his finger down. Kortright snatched the ball and returned to his mark before launching at the himself like a sprinter at the wicket. This time Grace got a snick to the wicket-keeper. Another clamorous appeal, another almost tangible laser beam of authority from the Champion to the umpire. Kortright took the ball in silence and wound himself up for one final, fate-defying attempt. The result was almost certainly the fastest ball ever delivered up to that time. It knocked the middle stump out of the ground and propelled the leg stump several yards.

After a momentary pause - perhaps in the hope of a late no-ball call, but more probably out of pure shock - the great man set off for the pavilion. This gave Kortright the cue for his immortal line: 'Surely you're not going, Doctor? There's still one stump standing.'


Taken from It's Not Cricket by Simon Rae.
 

Coronis

International Coach
Mark Waugh asked Englishman James Ormond, “What are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England.” To that, he replied - “Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family”.
That’s just amazing.
 

Chubb

International Regular
The many detailed discussions of the First Chance Average we used to "enjoy" on here.
 

Nikhil99.99

U19 Cricketer
By Mike Whitney
And when we’re in there, Viv [Vivian Richards] is introducing Sir Donald Bradman to the team, and he gets to Patrick Patterson. He was 6ft5, and cut. And he’s sitting there just in the jock strap. And Patrick stands up – and it’s like a shadow went over Sir Donald, this guy is that big – and he said, ‘Very pleased to meet you Sir Donald Bradman, but I would be thinking if you were playing today, then I could bowl you out.’
The story about Sir Donald Bradman is this – nobody had ever heard him swear or get angry, people would tell you he never even said ‘bloody’. But after that statement, he looked up at Patrick Patterson and he went, ‘I don’t know about that, sonny, you couldn’t get effing Merv Hughes out today.’ And we were all just [beaming] … ‘He’s human, sir Donald!’ and Patrick must have realised, ‘Oh I couldn’t get Merv out’ – he just sat down and shrivelled in the chair.

“So finally Bradman’s got to leave, and Mervie is like in the door jam. Sir Donald took a couple of steps and stopped. And then walked backwards, and looked up at Merv and said, ‘It’s a funny game Merv, isn’t it?’, and walked out! Almost as if to say, ‘How did you get 72 against the West Indies!?’”
 

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