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Funny quotes from sports people

Simon

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ive got a couple here from footballers, its amazing how stupid some of em are!

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona" - Mark Draper

"I never predict anything, and I never will" - Gazza

"Winning doesnt really matter as long as you win" - Vinny Jones

"My legs sort of disappeared from nowhere" - Chris Waddle

"If your 0-0 down, there's no one better to get you back on level terms than Ian Wright" - Robbie Earle

"Ive had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable" - Gazza

ill post up more in the next few days, plenty of which are courtesy of Gazza. some alan shearer beauties too.
 

Langeveldt

Soutie
He looks a million dollars at the crease, which is probably what he's got stashed away somewhere Mark Butcher on Ed Smith
 

Simon

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I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well - Alan Shearer

I Would not be bothered if we lost every games as long as we won the league - Mark Viduka

ive got some from commentators too, i will post them up another time.
 

Tim

Cricketer Of The Year
Former Formula 1 commentator Murray Walker (?) has pulled out some absolute classics, I'll try and find them.
 

Rik

Cricketer Of The Year
Some Murray Walker ones, found them on this site http://rao.caltech.edu/murray.html

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough ?"

"Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place"

"I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem"

"He is shedding buckets of adrenalin in that car"

"So Bernie [Ecclestone], in the seventeen years since you bought McLaren, which of your many achievements do you think was the most memorable ?" Bernie Answers, "Well I don't remember buying McLaren." [Bernie Ecclestone used to own the Brabham team].

Murray: "What's that? There's a BODY on the track!!!"
James: "Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from someone's car."

"I don't want to tempt fate but Damon Hill is now only half a lap from his first Grand Prix win and..and HE'S SLOWING DOWN, DAMON HILL IS SLOWING DOWN..HE'S..HE'S STOPPED."

"1.4 seconds may not seem like much but in Formula One, 1.4 seconds is light years"

"...Cruel luck for Alesi, second on the grid. That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year..."

"And there's the man in the green flag!"

Murray: "And look at the flames coming from the back of Berger's McLaren"
James: "Actually, Murray, they're not flames, it's the safety light."

"...and there's no damage to the car.....except to the car itself."

"and I interrupt myself to bring you this...."

"This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well."

"Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."

"Tambay's hopes , which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."

"You can't see a digital clock because there isn't one."

"The Italian GP at Monaco..."

"...the enthusiastic enthusiasts..." (Italy 1994)

"Ukyo Katayama is undoubtedly the best formula 1 driver that grand prix racing has ever produced'

"As you can see, visually, with your eyes..."

"Andrea de Cesaris...the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them."

"And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"

"And Damon Hill is coming into the pit lane, yes it's Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit, and Damon Hill in the pit, no it's Michael Schumacher!"

"Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn't! It's a lap record."

"Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one"

"There are a lot of IFs in Formula One, in fact IF is Formula One backwards!"
 

Rik

Cricketer Of The Year
Even more here: http://aca-vnt.mcc.ac.uk/ScrapBook/walkerisms.htm

Murray was a machine!

"This has been a great season for Nelson Piquet, as he is now known, and always has been"

"And the first five places are filled by five different cars."

Murray: "And there are flames coming from the back of Prost's car as he enters the swimming pool."

James: "Well, that should put them out then."

"Alesi is in second place and Hill is in second place..."

"As you can see, visually, with your eyes..."

"....Schumacher crosses the line to start another lap, and there's nothing there!"

And from: http://www.lloydia.com/quotes.htm

" ... and Edson Arantes di Nascimento, commonly known to us as Pele hands the award to Damon Hill, commonly known to us as ... um... Damon ... Hill ... "

"... Mansell can see him in his earphone..."

"...and he's lost both right front tyres"

"...and Schumacher has just completed lap 77 out of 73"

"A battle is developing between them...I say developing because it's not yet on."

"A sad ending, albeit a happy one, here at Montreal for today's Grand Prix."

"And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position. He is in last place."

"That's history. I say history because it happened in the past"

"The Arrows is in! The mechanics attack the car!"

And of course the classic:

"The car in front is absolutely unique, except for the one behind which is identical!"
 

Rik

Cricketer Of The Year
Neil Pickup said:
F1 just isn't the same now, is it? :)
Very true, I've gone off it lately. The amusing thing is I thought Murray was quite young when I first heard him, then was surprised to see this balding old man leaping all over the place when it moved to ITV and they had a camera in the Com Box.
 

Langeveldt

Soutie
Brilliant stuff Rik...

I just caught the tail end of his career, and its pretty obvious he was in a league of his own...
 

steds

Hall of Fame Member
My favourite is a Brian Carney one.

Bill Arthur: "You must be over the moon Brian"
Carney: "Bill, I'm as happy as a rabbit with two ****s"
Bill Arthur: "We are on live tv Brian"
 

Tom Halsey

International Coach
There are lots of brilliant ones - one of my favourites being "McCoy takes a look between his legs, and likes what he sees" from a horse racing commentator.
 

Tom Halsey

International Coach
Couple from Arlott:

"Bill Frindall has done some mental arithmetic with a calculator."
"Ray Illingworth is currently relieving himself in front of the pavilion."
 

BoyBrumby

Englishman
Footballers are an inexhaustible seam of gold on this front. A few favs:

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona' - Mark Draper

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - Gary Lineker

'I never predict anything, and I never will.' - Gazza

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.' - Vinny Jones

'I was disappointed to leave Spurs, but quite pleased that I did.' - Steve Perryman

'The manager has given us unbelievable belief.' - Paul Merson

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable' - Gazza again

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - Sir Alan Shearer

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'I wouldn't be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

'The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - Dave Beckham

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7' - Becks again

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - "Mad" Stanley Collymore

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - yep, Beckham again

'It’s going to be difficult for me - I've never had to learn a language and now I do.' - & again

But the undisputed heavyweight champion has to be:

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush
 

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