cricketing narratives that aren't true

[smash84]

Also, gotta love

All the pitches in Sri Lanka are roads.

 

[Burgey]

He's terrible. It isn't because he didn't play test cricket, he played Shield and in any event there's plenty of blokes on here who haven't played anything like FC cricket whose thoughts on the game are nuanced and imo exceptional. It's just that he tries so hard. I'm actually having a little vomit in my mouth here thinking about him commentating again this summer.

 

[Burgey]

- The WACA Test pitch being a fast bowler’s dream full of pace and bounce. They were still talking it up during the Matador Cup last week

- How good a batsman Allan Border was against the West Indies. Yes, had a great tour of the West Indies in 83/84 (and a very good series in 81/82) but the Windies always had his measure after that.

What an appalling slur. Outrageous in the extreme. Take out the times he was good, and he wasn't. Go figure. You don't be disrespecting TOTAB mate. It just isn't done.

 

[Furball]

Haha I was going to make the same point about Healy. He and Warne did a wicketkeeping/spin bowling masterclass on Sky during the last Ashes and I was amazed that Healy was not only not a completely braindead ****wit, but he actually offered insight and knowledge into a part of the game. It was particularly enlightening to me because I don't really understand the technical aspect of wicketkeeping and wouldn't be able to pinpoint what sets apart a good keeper from an average one.

I'm convinced channel 9 have them all contracted to say a minimum number of words per minute. The old boys club aspect of the commentary, particularly when you've got Taylor, Slater, Healy and Warne from the same dressing room is a bit grating but the worst part is when they just won't shut the **** up. Warne's a completely different commentator when you stick him in the Sky box with Nasser and Athers.

 

[quincywagstaff]

What an appalling slur. Outrageous in the extreme.

Border's Test batting average v WI from 84/85 onwards was 31.67 from 20 Tests. Obviously better than it looks because of standard of opposition but not as good as the narrative surrounding him would suggest.

 

[quincywagstaff]

Haha I was going to make the same point about Healy. He and Warne did a wicketkeeping/spin bowling masterclass on Sky during the last Ashes and I was amazed that Healy was not only not a completely braindead ****wit, but he actually offered insight and knowledge into a part of the game. It was particularly enlightening to me because I don't really understand the technical aspect of wicketkeeping and wouldn't be able to pinpoint what sets apart a good keeper from an average one.

I'm convinced channel 9 have them all contracted to say a minimum number of words per minute. The old boys club aspect of the commentary, particularly when you've got Taylor, Slater, Healy and Warne from the same dressing room is a bit grating but the worst part is when they just won't shut the **** up. Warne's a completely different commentator when you stick him in the Sky box with Nasser and Athers.

When Healy started with Ch. 9 in the early 00s I thought he was the best TV commentator going around due to his incisiveness. For whatever reason, he descended into being an abrasive, barracking smart-alec by the mid-late 00s and it's too late now to expect him to get back to what he was when he started.

 

[Burgey]

- The WACA Test pitch being a fast bowler’s dream full of pace and bounce. They were still talking it up during the Matador Cup last week

- How good a poster quincywagstaff is. Yes, had a great couple of contributions early on, but Cricket Chat always had his measure after that.

Bit harsh.

 

[Burgey]

When Healy started with Ch. 9 in the early 00s I thought he was the best TV commentator going around due to his incisiveness. For whatever reason, he descended into being an abrasive, barracking smart-alec by the mid-late 00s and it's too late now to expect him to get back to what he was when he started.

Totally AWTA

Doesn't he read the sports news in Brisbane for Channel Nine these days too?

 

[Furball]

here's one - England had bad players in the '90s

They did. They also had terrible coaches and a woeful domestic structure.

I take your point because you could have had a 90s team of:

Atherton
Stewart
Hussain
Hick
Ramprakash
Thorpe
Russell
Gough
Caddick
Fraser
Spinner (probably Tufnell)

And on paper that's not too bad. Transpose that side into the mid 00s era with proper workload management, central contracts and better coaches and support staff and I reckon that would have been the nucleus of a pretty decent side. Not a great side, not an all conquering side, but a side that should have been able to hold their own against most if not all sides in the world and who could certainly have won more than they lost.

 

[Furball]

Totally AWTA

Doesn't he read the sports news in Brisbane for Channel Nine these days too?

I seem to remember Slater being pretty great on Channel 4 as well.

 

[Burgey]

I think it's a side which definitely would have had a decent home record in that era. Which in this era means they'd be pushing for number one I suppose because everyone is beating everyone else.

 

[SteveNZ]

I think the two underlying things which are awful about Nine's coverage are the intentional dumbing down of the commentary and the commentators being cheer leaders rather than analysts.

Great post, and this part in particular is at the crux of the issue. Whoever decides it (Packer, McNamara, whoever else is involved) is clearly taking the approach that dumbing down cricket is the best business strategy. That's horribly sad when your country has anti-siphoning laws expressly to allow the public access to their national summer sport, and then uses that privilege and place of authority to shape the viewing audience into imbeciles. I lived in Melbourne for three years and I have no doubt whatsoever that the low-IQ commentary and coverage approach filters through to the general public. That's got to be a bit concerning for kids who are being raised on the exciteable squeals of messers Healy, Slater and co, and are probably out the back having a hit when those admittedly decent lunchtime showpieces are put on.

I actually feel like Bill and Tony are were the issues started for Nine, not only with cricket but league as well. Bill and Tony's exchanges, repartee and phrases became even more famous off the back of the 12th Man, to the point that it's what the viewers came to expect and love over actual analysis of what was unfolding on field. Now Gus Gould and Ray Warren do it on the rugby league coverage as well, it's lame to say the least.

At the end of the day, you can't really blame the commentators. As with the IPL for the players, these guys will sell their souls for the right price. Much better to talk about pepparoni pizza and exclaim how Nathan Lyon pisses into a World XI during the day, then settle into a new five-star hotel overlooking a new area of water each week than maintain authenticity and eat half-cooked lasagne in the media room with the other plebs.

So yeah, I still want to hear why Gnski thinks CH9 isn't horribad.

 

[The Hutt Rec]

Technically Nine is pretty decent, although a lot of the gimmicks they've introduced in recent years are pretty pointless and don't add a lot (like that change of camera angle thing that turns everyone 2D while it rotates).

Apart from that, I can't think of anything else to compliment them on.

Still better than their league coverage though - no Ray Hadley!

Wish we could get alternate Fox coverage of the cricket too.

 

[Starfighter]

- The WACA Test pitch being a fast bowler’s dream full of pace and bounce. They were still talking it up during the Matador Cup last week

Same goes for Brisbane as well. I don't think either venue has been really quick this decade. Certainly not in the past four years.

Technically Nine is pretty decent, although a lot of the gimmicks they've introduced in recent years are pretty pointless and don't add a lot (like that change of camera angle thing that turns everyone 2D while it rotates).

God I hate that. Looks awful and achieves nothing but to waste time.

 

[Gnske]

So yeah, I still want to hear why Gnski thinks CH9 isn't horribad.

If you can't see the truth you'll never understand.

 

[SteveNZ]

Provide me with the truth, and it shall be seen.

 

[watson]

When Channel 9 gets too much I generally turn-off the TV sound and put the ABC radio on. Jim Maxwell is rarely bad.

 

[indiaholic]

"for narrative purposes" is a meaningless statement

Nah it isn't. You look at a guy dominating in ODIs, you assume they are 'talented' and good at all things batting. They get into the test side and stink up the place. What do you do to maintain your story? a) He is just unlucky or needs more time to settle down or b) assume he is not working hard enough or blame ipl riches. Option a works when your sample size is small. We shift to b after that.

 

[cnerd123]

Nah it isn't. You look at a guy dominating in ODIs, you assume they are 'talented' and good at all things batting. They get into the test side and stink up the place. What do you do to maintain your story? a) He is just unlucky or needs more time to settle down or b) assume he is not working hard enough or blame ipl riches. Option a works when your sample size is small. We shift to b after that.

Yea cricket really needs to raise it's analysis game. Mainstream reporters are too lazy.

 

[Daemon]

We need more Aakash Chopras who actually analyze techniques instead of writing stats pieces.