Cricket Sledges

[tshep]

Hey guys.
I'm an aussie so a few of the sledges will work only for me but i want to hear your best sledges to use in a game. I'll kick us off with my best ones:

-Buckle up boys, this guy can't drive

-Worse connection than vodaphone/telstra

-Less singles than eHarmony

-Less singles than One Direction

-More LBW's than Shane Watson

-Send the bails to New South Wales

-The stumps are hungry give 'em a cherry

-The stumps are having a party lets crash it

-His bat's like a donut, no middle just edges

-Pass me the ball I need to pull out the splinters

-I've seen better batters at a fish and chips shop

-More blocks than Minecraft

-More blocks than a lego set

-More leaves than a gum tree

-If you wanna drive go hire a car

-Give him a yorker and he'll be a walker

-At his toes and off he goes

-Send the stumps to the dump

-Swinging like a rusty gate

-More edges than Cook

-Hire a new cleaner, this guys sweeping is awful

-More no's than a questionnaire

-More dots than a dalmatian

-He's as fresh as a freezer

-Big swing no ding

-More swings than a childs playground

-No smash just trash

-More misses than Osama Bin Laden

 

[fredfertang]

Not keen on sledging myself but when I received any I used to find that "**** off ****s" got my message across

 

[Maximas]

good lord

 

[NUFAN]

See I wouldn't call any of them sledges. They are just things to say to get a small laugh/pump up your team in the field.

 

[Hurricane]

That's like the most comprehensive list I have ever seen. That is a valuable resource on the Internet. I was going to chime in with more dots than a dalmation but you had it

I am actually against real sledging which is essentially calling someone a ****wit etc - we had a debate here on CW about it and it was me against the australian crew. In the end they influenced me somewhat but I still don't think sledging should be part of the game as cricket is supposed to be a gentleman's game and gentlemen don't call people ****wits.

 

[uvelocity]

i thought this would be **** but i give tshep a pass on this occasion

- give him a shower
- send him back the ****
- knock his house down
- edgyyyyyyyyyy
- put the bell back in

reckon skidmark is odds on to have the best one

 

[Riggins]

my favourite is when the bowler starts sledging the fielders or vice versa.

 

[Maximas]

That's like the most comprehensive list I have ever seen. That is a valuable resource on the Internet. I was going to chime in with more dots than a dalmation but you had it

I am actually against real sledging which is essentially calling someone a ****wit etc - we had a debate here on CW about it and it was me against the australian crew. In the end they influenced me somewhat but I still don't think sledging should be part of the game as cricket is supposed to be a gentleman's game and gentlemen don't call people ****wits.

Never really agreed with the idea of talking **** to the batsman myself, I just chime in to encourage the other fielders and bowlers

 

[tshep]

yeah not sledging but its more pumping up your team

 

[uvelocity]

my favourite is when the bowler starts sledging the fielders or vice versa.

i had 3 slips and a gully, and had 580kg behind the wicket last week, rest assured there was plenty of amusement

 

[Maximas]

Even indirect sledging like "this guy has no idea" or "big gap at cover" without the fielder directly saying it to the batsman is fine IMO, but I can't ****ing stand ****s who go and talk right at the batsman

 

[NUFAN]

yeah not sledging but its more pumping up your team

Yep, which I am all for as it can be a long day in the field.

I'm interested in what you say to the teams good batsman? Almost all (if not all) are mainly just going to make sense to the batsman in bad form or the tail.

 

[Maximas]

Most teams cut the bull**** and shut up in that case

 

[NUFAN]

Yep, I can confirm that's what happens when I batted. when playing Super International Cricket

 

[Esperance]

ishant sharma is better than you

 

[Dan]

My dad's been playing for years, and all the teams of younger guys think they're utterly hilarious with the bad cliches. He's now got into the habit of asking if they can come up with anything original, which generally shuts them up.

One of the less terrible ones I've heard was "He's fishing more than Andrew Symonds", but honestly, I've yet to hear a good one. And with my style of batting, I've heard most of them.

Back in juniors, when I was 'keeping up to the stumps to pretty much everyone, I'd try and be in the batsman's ear about how distracting something was, be it traffic going past the ground, sunlight reflecting off a car windscreen behind the bowler's arm or something else. Don't think it ever worked, tbh.

 

[tshep]

It doesn't stir tail enders up as much as middle order or opening batsmen

 

[tshep]

Back in juniors, when I was 'keeping up to the stumps to pretty much everyone, I'd try and be in the batsman's ear about how distracting something was, be it traffic going past the ground, sunlight reflecting off a car windscreen behind the bowler's arm or something else. Don't think it ever worked, tbh.

When we play cricket all day there is a bloody ice cream truck circling around the cricket ground. The fielders started to exaggerate the annoyance of it, it was distracting but didn't work

 

[hendrix]

Even indirect sledging like "this guy has no idea" or "big gap at cover"

This is pretty much all I do and I think it's the most effective at actually eroding a batsman's confidence. The thing is, every batsman will have a ball go past the outside edge occasionally, but when that happens comes the opportunity to really make them think they're not good enough.

 

[fros23]

This guy's like JLS, he's only got one shot
Any time there is a runout let the other batsman know he's got to score two players worth of runs now
Mind your toes at square leg