best sledges

[deeps]

I was just wondering if u guys had any funny/good sledges u wanted to share

eg, wats a good thing to say to a batsman that's looking really shaky at the crease... etc etc

or any other good sledges

 

[Ferd]

classics:

big swing no ding
knock over his castle
give the bails some frequent flyer points

 

[tooextracool]

heres what hussain recently said while sarwan was batting in trinidad..."let's get this guy back to the Trini Posse Stand so he can join in the party!"

 

[Langeveldt]

G.McGrath - Why are you so fat??

E.Brandes - Because every time I have your wife in bed she gives me a biscuit...

 

[SpaceMonkey]

G.McGrath - Why are you so fat??

E.Brandes - Because every time I have your wife in bed she gives me a biscuit...

Classic..i remember reading that on a BBC page months ago when they covered good sledges apparently the Australian Slip fielders were in histerics for ages after that.

 

[Armadillo]

youve got him fishing like a garden gnome

 

[Jono]

G.McGrath - Why are you so fat??

E.Brandes - Because every time I have your wife in bed she gives me a biscuit...

LOL!

 

[Langeveldt]

Here is one I told our opening bowler during a club match...

Unfortunatly it went down like a lead baloon with their captain who was batting at the time and was twice my age.......


**Batsman plays and misses** "Hey Anthony, shall we give him a piano, see if he can play that??"

 

[PY]

Merv Hughes was involved in an exchange with Robin Smith at Lord's in 1989, when he told Smith: "You can't f***ing bat." Smith then clouted the next ball and told Hughes: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

 

[Tom Halsey]

ROFLMAO.

 

[PY]

Rod Marsh and Ian Botham. When Botham took guard in a Ashes
match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne. As Cullinan was on his way
to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him.
"Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad. During 1991 Adelaide Test,
Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

Ricky Ponting and Shaun Pollock. After going past the
outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground.
Ponting to Pollock: "You know what it looks like, now go find it."

Not sure if these are the right players so feel free to correct.

 

[harry674]

<Ricky Ponting and Shaun Pollock. After going past the
outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground.
Ponting to Pollock: "You know what it looks like, now go find it."

>

i think this was vic. richardson and some bowler.

 

[luckyeddie]

Rod Marsh and Ian Botham. When Botham took guard in a Ashes
match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne. As Cullinan was on his way
to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him.
"Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad. During 1991 Adelaide Test,
Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

Ricky Ponting and Shaun Pollock. After going past the
outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground.
Ponting to Pollock: "You know what it looks like, now go find it."

Not sure if these are the right players so feel free to correct.

First three are definitely correct - last one is Viv Richards and Greg Thomas

 

[PY]

First three are definitely correct - last one is Viv Richards and Greg Thomas

That was one of the other options for that particular one but I randomly picked Ponting and Pollock. Cheers

Seems recent cricketers can't be funny without swearing from my research.

 

[luckyeddie]

That was one of the other options for that particular one but I randomly picked Ponting and Pollock. Cheers

Seems recent cricketers can't be funny without swearing from my research.

Not just recent ones.

I was once told (think it was by Mike Smedley of Notts) this little gem...

Fred Trueman bounced Mike Smedley (or whoever it was, let's assume it was) and nearly took his head off

<MS> Is that all you've got, Fred?
<FT> Fook off

Now THAT's sledging

 

[Langeveldt]

<MS> Is that all you've got, Fred?
<FT> Fook off

Now THAT's sledging

Hahahaha... thats pure village green

 

[aussie_beater]

Well here's one which is not exactly sledging the opposition, but a classic nonetheless...

Fred Trueman was bowling and the batsman edges the ball and it goes to first slip, and right between the legs of Raman Subba Row.At the end of the over Subba Row sheepishly apologizes to fiery Fred, and says...." I should have kept my legs together, Fred". Trueman fires back... " Not you son, Your mother should've !! "

 

[Tom Halsey]

When the West Indians had their quicks, the short leg would sledge his own bowler to fire him up.

He might say: "Did you hear what the batsman just called you?"

Of course, the poor batsman had infact said nothing, but he now had to face the sudden no-balling problem that the bowler invariably suffered.

From around the wicket, too, usually.

Now that is sledging....

 

[hellnback]

Don't think this is word for word but you'll get the idea...

WG Grace had just come to the wicket to bat, and is about to face this relatively 'unknown' bowler. He handles the first couple OK, then plays and misses at the next. Looks around and sees that his off bail is on the ground.

WG turns around and as he replaces the bail back onto the stumps states

"It's a bit windy out here today, isn't it ump"

The umpire replies...

"Yes Doctor, make sure you hold onto your hat on the way back to the pavilion"

~~~~~

It was Viv Richards and Greg Thomas, for that third quote, and the ball had actually been hit into a pond...

 

[Tom Halsey]

A classic from the master of sledging, Ian Healy:

Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process.

On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben'

Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'

Absolute classic.