Battle of the Infamous

[wellAlbidarned]

I think it's very plausible that it wasn't intentional and he wasn't aware of it. Haddin's not a ****, he's just a bit ****.

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Botha extends his run into the round of 16.

Botha: 5
Kallis: 4
Ajmal: 1

 

[Agent TBY]

Kallis had two and a half days and still only scored 4 votes. What a slow ****.

 

[ganeshran]

Well harsh on Kallis being in this. Don't actually like the bloke but aside from being slightly bland in his public utterances and (allegedly, etc) a bit dim the worst you can say is he's selfish and not to everyone's taste (including mine) as a batsman.

Hard to split Murali's two bastards tho. Both have truly, truly awful actions. Think I'll go with Botha as he's actually been banned from bowling his wrong 'un and has the face of a Waffen SS Panzer commander.

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Super battle, this.


Ian Chappell (Australia)

Crimes:

- Segueing the Benaud Era into the Ugly Australians, a cadre of all-singing, all-sledging bounce-happy ****s
- Relentless trolling of players as player and commentator
- Decades of noise pollution on Channel 9
- Just let it go, it's only Beefy, it's been years, he's not worth it - Ian! IAN!...sigh

'Chappell was a coward. He needed a crowd around him before he would say anything. He was sour like milk that had been sitting in the sun for a week.' - Ian Botham

'Playing against a team with Ian Chappell as a captain turns a cricket match into gang warfare.' - Mike Brearley

'At the moment he looks like a player trying to eke out a career; build on a glittering array of statistics.' - Chappell when confronted with Sachin Tendulkar's glittering array of statistics

'What the ****'s going on? Oh! Sorry about that. Welcome back to Old Trafford...' - Chappell adjusting his earpiece in the commentary box


The Hon. W.G. Grace (England)

Crimes:

- Setting the precedent for Andrew Symonds winning the 2008 Sydney Test by refusing to walk
- Setting the precedent for backyard cricket laws by refusing to walk even when getting bowled first ball
- Demanding match payments despite declaring himself an amateur
- Running someone out in a Test match while they were pantsless in the middle of the pitch

'Play on. They've come here to see me bat, not you bowl.' - W.G. Grace explaining the customer is always right, even if he's been clean bowled

'The Australians came down like a wolf on the fold,
The Mary'bone Cracks for a trifle were bowled;
Our Grace before dinner was very soon done,
And Grace after dinner did not get a run.'
- Punch Magazine after Australia's first Test victory in England

'Notoriously unscholarly' - Miss Trotman, his primary school teacher

'****, I wish I'd thought of that.' - Vinoo Mankad after reading about Grace's run-out


Warwick Armstrong (Australia)

Crimes:

- Fat ****
- Bowling two overs in a row, one from each end, in a Test match
- Refusing to go on an Ashes tour because he couldn't pick his own manager
- Attempting a diet on the boat trip to England and actually gaining weight instead
- Yelling at umpires with Pontingesque consistency
- Having an 'impregnable' defence in spite of constantly looking pregnant

'The chief offender was Warwick Armstrong, who got very nasty and unsportsmanlike, refusing to accept the umpire's decision. That upset me. I did not know if was standing on my head or my heels with the consequence that two balls later I let one go, never even attempting to play it; and it bowled me. I still bear this incident in mind against Armstrong.' - Jack Hobbs

'Please, sir, you are the only bit of decent shade in the place.' - A small boy who Armstrong thought just wanted his autograph

 

[fredfertang]

Chappelli is the only First Class cricketer to have bought me a drink so he's ok - of the other two it's a bit of a coin toss but I'll go for the Big Ship, 'cos he's Australian

 

[smash84]

lol......awesome thread this one......

my vote goes for Armstrong

 

[Burgey]

Grace. Set parlous standards for sportsmanship followed by England teams to this day.

 

[uvelocity]

Kallis had two and a half days and still only scored 4 votes. What a slow ****.

go chappell in this one, plenty of time for half his opinions, but still comes across as a massive ****

 

[benchmark00]

Chappell.

 

[chicane]

Hey, Nel can't be responsible for what 'Gunther' gets up to.

It's the oxygen deficiency. Can't blame Gunther.

 

[chicane]

Chappel.

 

[grecian]

Chappelli.

 

[doesitmatter]

If Vinoo Mankad "Mankading against the spirit fame" thinks **** of Grace..then Grace for me..

 

[BoyBrumby]

Grace. Imagine he was a massive **** (in every sense) in his dealings with everyone.

Might be the "stopped clock" thang, but Chapelli and sense do occasionally intersect.

 

[burr]

Super battle, this.
- Relentless trolling of players as player and commentator
- Decades of noise pollution on Channel 9

Sums it up perfectly. Indeed your summaries of all nominees' failings are superb.

Chappell for mine. I have made my distaste for the man known many times on this forum.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Voting for Grace.

Not a fan of Chappell, but anyone who wants to throw shapes at Ian Botham can't be all bad.

 

[morgieb]

Chappell.

 

[Agent Nationaux]

Grace for being a fat **** who enjoyed cheating.

 

[KungFu_Kallis]

Brett Lee. Most of his Test wickets were tail enders who he bounced and sledged and snarled and acted like a hero if he got them out. Even if the score was 570/7 e.g. Sydney 2004. Also bowled many beamers which were uncannily on target and immediately rushed to the batsman to apologise each time. Arguably a chucker at times too. And then there was the singing....lol.....wotanob