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Battle of the Infamous

LongHopCassidy

International Captain
Battle of the Infamous: Unlocked Final Boss

By popular demand.


Hansie Cronje (South Africa)



Full resume here




Sir Geoffrey Boycott (England)



Crimes:

- Insipid, selfish batsman
- Notorious for hogging the strike, with his partner's wicket being an acceptable risk
- Making a double century so boring it was a droppable offence
- Presiding over Yorkshire's worst period in county cricket history
- In his own class of socially inept
- Domestic violence soap opera
- Mocking Michael Yardy's depression

"He's got lots of acquaintances but no friends." - Ray Illingworth

"He was a selfish man - he came first, second and third." - Brian Close

"I've had a few business dealings with him, and it wasn't a pleasant experience." - Tony Greig

"I'm a strong man - if I'd hit her 20 times she'd have been taken out on a stretcher." - Boycott's defense in his domestic violence hearing

"He can be so rude to people that sometimes you just want to punch his lights out." - Mark Nicholas, MMA aspirant

"The frequent imperfections of Boycott's running between the wickets paled into insignificance when set beside the awfulness of his various attempts to be a cricket captain." - Leo McKinstry

"You have done for Australian cricket what the Boston Strangler did for door-to-door salesmen." - Hate mail received on an Ashes tour after another soporific ton

"I can tell thee what tha's doing wrong, lad. But I'm not going to." - Boycott to a young David Gower on tour

"Why do people not like me, David? I'm just an ordinary bloke trying to do a job." - Boycott to Gower, two years later

"He must have been reading my comments about his bowling, it must have upset him." - Boycott on Yardy's withdrawal from international cricket

"Boycott's idea of thrift is actually parsimony on a scale which would shame most other members of the human race." - Ian Wooldridge

"Boycott indulged in a great drama, putting his head in his hands like some ham actor, to communicate to everyone how desperately sorry he was. But close examination of the video record reveals the real story. First, Boycott ruthlessly and calculatingly checks that he himself is not going to get out. Then, realising that the other fellow is now getting out and this is going to make Boycott look very bad, the gears in Boycott’s head engage, and the regretful performance only then begins." - Brian Micklethwait on Boycott's typical runouts

"Boycott broke a golden rule of commentary box etiquette in assuming that because he was not directly on air he was ipso facto off it. You are never off it, not in com boxes the size of box rooms, and you are certainly not off it when, like Geoffrey, your default speaking voice would drown out Metallica in concert." - Mike Selvey

"My favourite, if that’s the word, Boycott-is-a-bastard story in this book concerned a little clutch of Pakistani boys who had gathered outside the back of the pavilion to get Boycott autographs for their notebooks. So Boycott arrives in his car, which is covered in the dust of Pakistan. The boys clamour for their autographs. Boycott says not now, but I tell you what, you clean my car and when I get back you can have your autographs. When Boycott returns, he gets into his now immaculately cleaned car and just drives off, leaving the boys stunned and autographless. What a swine." - Brian Micklethwait

I like him too - anyone who most of Yorkshire despises can't be all bad
Sir Geoffrey really is another level. Quite the most selfish, one-eyed individual ever to play the game. Leo McKinistry's biography is a real eye-opener.

Genuinely believe he's either on the autistic spectrum or has a borderline personality disorder.
Boycott deserves to take the whole thing. An absolute dickhead.
Boycott definitely a complete **** but I do enjoy his commentary. Deserves my vote nonetheless.
Can we not just stick Boycott through?
I can't believe Kohli got further than Geoff ****ing Boycott.
GingerFurball at least two dozen times in this thread said:
 
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smash84

The Tiger King
congratulations on running this LHC.....it was a fantastic idea and great work done by you......very very enjoyable indeed
 

BoyBrumby

Englishman
Yeah, Cronje, obvz. Boycs should've gone further than he did tho.

& kudos to LHC. The match-ups have been a genuinely good read.
 

Bahnz

Hall of Fame Member
If LHC doesn't win Battle of the Members IX for this thread it'll be a travesty.

Boycott.
 

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