Battle of the Infamous

[Jarquis]

Nearly voted Botha for wearing his watch on the wrong wrist but has to be Gilchrist.

Ponting.

 

[fredfertang]

The only reason that Gilchrist didn't hear the jail doors clanging behind him was because the long-suffering Mrs G fronted up at court and pleaded with the Judge not to jail him - I know not whether he appreciated it, but rather doubt it - wac, winner by a street

In the other one Harbhajan, forever Harbhajan - despite his being an obnoxious Australian **** I have to confess to being a big admirer of Punter

 

[burr]

Gilchrist and Harbhajan.

 

[BoyBrumby]

Ooo. A little ripper, as our criminal brethren would have it.

Ponting's behaviour fell well below that which one expects of the Australian captain and I make no apologies for being enough of a cricket romantic to think the title still means something more than just calling at the toss, rotating bowlers and moving chaps around the field. The last two duties were performed somewhat hamfistedly by Ricky too, in my humble estimation.

The fact that Michael Clarke, yes that's Michael ****ing Clarke has already shown more of a statesman's touch says everything you need to know.

For all that Harbhajan is more of a ****wad. A racist who then lied about it.

 

[Agent Nationaux]

Gilchrist
Harbi

 

[Cabinet96]

Gilchrist
Harbajan

 

[GotSpin]

Gilly
Harbajan. What a ****ing asshole

 

[GotSpin]

Not a fan of Ponting's petulant behaviour, but Harbhajan is the only one of have caused a disturbance at NZ Customs and behaved as you'd expect of him.

So, Harbhajan it is for me.

Such a **** in that video.

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Round of 16, Battle 4 Results:

Roy Gilchrist: 14
Johan Botha: Bupkuss


Round of 16, Battle 5 Results:

Harbhajan Singh: 9
Ricky Ponting: 4

Next one a line-baller.

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Round of 16, Battle 6


Kevin Pietersen (England)

Crimes:

- A consummate douchecanoe, consistently performing in all conditions
- Most prominent Benedict Arnold in contemporary Test cricket, to both his countries
- Too crap to make South African team under the quota system
- The It's Tough Being Me thread
- I don't need no England
- No, wait, I do
- Sued Notts after Jason Gallian tossed his team kit from the pavilion
- As endorsed by Piers Morgan

"[The] politics is what I have to deal with personally and it’s tough being me in this dressing room." - KP in the immediate aftermath of textgate

"There's your ****ing dressing room!" - Gallian to Pietersen after heaving his kit over the seats

"[Flintoff is] an old allrounder who can't bat and too unfit to bowl." - KP on the bloke who won him an MBE

"Pietersen is never more self-absorbed, never less empathetic to his colleagues, than when he is in prime form." - Mike Atherton

“My affiliation is with England. In fact, I'm starting to speak too much like Darren Gough. I'm going to get one of Gough's tattoos with three lions and my number underneath. No one can say I'm not English then.” - KP

"What's Kevin Pietersen's favourite hotel when touring South Africa?

His parents' house." - Anonymous

Piers Morgan interview:

"There are greater players out there who respect me for the decision I made, who agree with me, and I know there will be millions of South Africans wishing they were in my shoes." - Guess who

"I just want to play good cricket and be an idiot in the dressing room." - KP to Piers Morgan

"Your father used to cane you when you were young. Would you do that with your kids?" - Piers Morgan
"I don't think Jessica [Taylor, KP's fiancee] would allow me." - KP

Be honest, but don't screw over your teammates by admitting that everything is ****. I reckon things weren't that great in the Aus rooms many times during their dominance. Didn't hear about it much unless there was a leak.

Also, he shouldn't come out calling Shiv selfish, that's a ****head thing to do, even if you think it, shut up. Otherwise you get owned and look like an idiot.

Haha "Piers, do you think that the last 15 minutes have done Kevin Pietersen more harm than good?"

But Pietersen is just a bagload of $@#% . Any union/club/confederation with a bit more spine would have given him the boot long time ago.

Pretty vile stuff from KP imo. If he can't respond to a bloke stating some facts without making it personal, he needs to grow up big time.

KP is KP. Dire. Hate him a little less than I love Thorpe.

Calling him a slow learner would be akin to calling Mother Theresa generous.

Yeah, look, doesn't get more damning than this:

Bopara and Prior are both pretty good to watch IMO. In fact I'd rather watch Prior than Pietersen.

Javed Miandad (Pakistan)

Crimes:

- Does not work or play well with others
- Subject of a player's revolt while captain in 1982
- Coached Pakistan, failed, so naturally the PCB reappointed him twice
- A decent snapshot of his relationship with Imran
- ...which led onto a career known for its grace and tact
- Checking self in as team baggage in 1996 to say he played in six World Cups, and averaging 27 striking at 51
- PCB stooge
- Married son into family of an international terrorist

"Obviously when you have other sub-standard teams across the world, then surely Australia will end up being the No. 1 team." - Javed Miandad-Dickinson

"Had it been Javed Miandad in charge, who seldom spotted a potential fire without wading in with a can of petrol, they'd probably have had to use the waste pipe on the motorised water mop as a riot cannon." - Christopher Martin-Jenkins on the 2006 forfeited Test

"My guess is that Imran's efforts were aimed at trying to create an intrigue against my captaincy." - After not being invited to a party thrown by his BFF Imran Khan

"Despite the injustices done to me and the conspiracies hatched against me I am still very happy with what I achieved in the game and what Pakistan cricket has given to me." - It's tough being Javed

"What Miandad did was the most disgraceful thing I have seen on a cricket pitch." - Greg Chappell weighing the Lillee incident against witnessing Ray Bright bowl

"You're a fat bus conductor. You have no place here." - Miandad to Merv Hughes during the 1991 Adelaide Test
"Tickets please!" - Merv dismisses him him next over

He's just a chatty little snot - everybody hates that guy.

As an obnoxious twerp and colossal cheat he rates just behind Ian Chappell.

The Pakistani umpire thing is no joke, they always favored him from all accounts.

that doesn't mean miandad was a saint either - both of 'em were scheming, convining rat-arse truckers in their own ways...

An eloquent career summary:

was a complete penis

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Miandad.

 

[weldone]

Javed Miandad

 

[Howe_zat]

Don't care for Miandad, but it's hard to look past how much effort went into the writeup for Pietersen

 

[LongHopCassidy]

Round of 16, Battle 7:

Not as 'not length of the straight' as far as these battles go.

Shahid Afridi (Pakistan)

Crimes:

- It would seam that he's hungry to win
- As captain, managing to piss off his team enough to fix matches to make him look bad
- Ripping Gambhir for dedicating the World Cup semi-final win to Mumbai terrorist attack victims
- Continuing the fan-attacking tradition of Pakistan captains
- Doing the mash, the monster mash (0:35)

- 'Credit goes to Abdul Qadir. He teach me a lot, and he really gives a good time.' - Afridi is hot for teacher

- 'There's a thing going on with the players. A lot of the boys want to **** up Afridi because he is trying to **** up things for them and he's the captain of the Twenty20 and one-day (side). They all want Butt to be captain.' - Undercover journalist at a court hearing, according to Richard Sydenham

- 'I was just trying to help the bowler. There is no team in the world that doesn't tamper with the ball but my approach was wrong.' - Should have approached with the back to the camera, ****

- 'Besides myself, the rest of the coaching staff has worked very hard with him to improve his abilities as a long-term and successful captain but sometimes his volatile and immature nature have proved detrimental and led to unfortunate outcomes including game losses.' - Waqar Younis

Still don't understand why I like this man.

He must hate himself on some subconscious level.

I feel that what Afridi has done is really unacceptable. The most disgusting this to see is that being a captain of the team he is doing such nuisance.

OMG you know what Zulqarnain Haider put? I ****ing spazzed myself:
"I HATE IJAZ BUTT. BECAUSE OF HIM AFRIDI RETIRES. LETS ALL SAY TO IJAZ BUTT.
**** YOUUUUUUUUU GO DIE YOU OLD PRICK"

Apparently he went boom boom to the face of the fans.

To me it looked like he just swiveled around to pick something up and the bat unfortunately got in the way of a spectator.

Cabinet on KP's hissy:

Any hope this is an Afridi retirement?

Finding seams on apples?

Afridi's not a cheat. He clearly simply mistook the cricket ball for an apple.

Hansie Cronje (South Africa)

Crimes:

- Would fit in great in a Champions' League side
- Bringing down Herschelle Gibbs and Henry Williams with him
- Chucked a stump through the umpire's door after Mark Waugh was given a match-winning life
- Confession starts at 2:07

"Of course the team decided against taking the bribe, but even so, it hadn't been an immediate and strong reaction to an activity totally abhorrent to the notion of sport." - Herschelle Gibbs on Cronje's first offer

"It wasn't even enough to cover my legal expenses." - On the size of his bookie payments

"If you look at my entire life, how I played, how I trained, losing didn't come easy to me." - Hansie doesn't take the easy way out

"Since that day, in a moment of stupidity and weakness, I allowed Satan and the world to dictate terms to me rather than the Lord." - Cronje revealing Lucifer's terrible shot selection

"You bet it has Mark, my money's definitely on them for sure, 7 for 635, they'd be odds on the Australians. New Zealand I'd wager will have a devil of a time trying to score that many. The result of this match pretty much a foregone conclusion really, and that's how I like them Mark. Yes Mark, it's a safe bet they would be ****ting themselves, I'll give you the tip. Selectors are gambling on some of the new players finding form, and I know a couple of senior players desperately needed to fix their games." - Billy Birmingham, The 12th Man

He'd never do that, our Hansie, pure as the driven snow he was. He did do it though and it became more and more apparent after every passing hour, but that hope was still there. Hansie still denied it and for me, that meant it was still nothing more than lies. Then he said he did it and that was that.

I'm still a big Proteas fan and always will be but SA cricket has never recovered from that day. He shattered the image of the sport, he sold us out for a frakking leather jacket and a meagre handful of silver..

Never mind the tragedy of Cronje's death, it's a darn shame he didn't play more ODIs than he did.

Why was Hansie buried rather than cremated?

They couldn't find anyone to throw the match.

The whiff of his pious sanctimony always turned my stomach. No hypocrite like a religious hypocrite.

Furball on a roll with the bile:

Croft wins over Cronje because the latter had the decency to crash a plane into the side of a mountain.

 

[morgieb]

Miandad, though it's close.

Hansie, Afridi just seems dim, Hansie was a sell-out. Though I suppose as GF said he was smart enough to drive a plane into a mountain.

 

[Daemon]

- 'Credit goes to Abdul Qadir. He teach me a lot, and he really gives a good time.' - Afridi is hot for teacher

 

[MrPrez]

Pietersen
Cronje

 

[grecian]

Kp, close though

Cronje, bit of a non-contest this one, Afridi is a consummate idiot, but he make's me laugh.


Such, a Richard quote, on Cronje.....

 

[Howe_zat]

Cronje easily

 

[Agent Nationaux]

KP and Cronje.