For Mahindinho's benefit, I've put together in this post, a few snippets to demonstrate my blind and cricket credentials - So apologies to those of you who've already read these.
(OT, 24/9/06)
Well I'm nothing if not green, so forgive me, but I'm going to recycle an old post from the Battrick thread, when the guys on there asked me pretty much the same kind'a question. In short, I have a speech synthesiser on my computer, which can read most forms of text - Except horrible PDF files. So I find CW pretty much a breeze. There's some techie type stuff I can't do, and Rob *****es like a girl when the tables I post aren't pleasing on his eye, but the bread and butter of reading and writing posts is simple as.
(Lifted from Battrick, 1/3/06 )
"Oh yes! Not only does my computer read me all your posts, it also reads them, as well as everything I write back, in the same mechanised voice as used by Britain's favourite brain-box Stephen Hawkin.
I must confess, in my more bored and immature moments, I have succumbed to the temptation to have a bit of fun with my computer! - Well why wouldn't Stephen Hawkin ring NHS Direct and describe his symptoms as absolute quadriplegia and a silly mechanised voice? And why wouldn't Stephen Hawkin ring up to order a pizza? or a taxi? or to buy flowers from Inter-Flora for Timmy from South Park? The best bit is the bemusement I get from the people on the other end of the phone. They're 99% certain it's a p**s take, but they can't quite bring themselves to tell you to get stuffed, as there's always that 0.1% chance that it really is Stephen Hawkin - Because let's face it, it's not everyone who has Stephen Hawkin's voice ready programmed into their laptop!
I used to work as a reporter on a radio station which shall remain nameless, mainly because I still work for the same media organisation, and I plugged my laptop into the mixing desk and recorded while I typed the following trail:
"Hello, My Name is Stephen Hawkin, and I'm the most intelligent man in the world! That's why I listen to blarblar sports show on *** Radio, every Saturday from 1:30."
Funnily enough my producer didn't want to use it!"
(OT, 24/09/06)
But cricket is my first and only true sporting love. I play for my local blind cricket club, who won the UK blind cricket Cup at Lord's last month, (Oh yeh, probably should have mentioned that I'm totally blind!), and I've also won 30 caps for the England blind cricket team, though currently out of favour - Pies, pints, personalities...The coach's Ex - You know how it goes! I'm an extremely dull and technically awkward left-handed defensive opening bat, and a slow left-arm filth bowler - I hesitate to use the word "Spinner" in connection with my bowling, though occasionally I do turn it from the Off side of Off stump….To…Well…The Leg side of Off stump! But having said all that, an absolutely stupendous amount of people do seem to get out to me - Mainly caught at Deep Backward Square and Fine Leg - Which is an endless source of amusement!
(OT, 29/10/06)
What a Crap week! Firstly I was looking forward to banishing the onset of winter blues with our first out-of-season cricket training in the next few weeks, but the sandal-wearing, paperclip-counting, fun police at Cardiff Council had other ideas. Unfortunately they've discovered that the policy number I've been quoting as our club's public liability insurance for the last two years, is in fact an extended warranty for my fridge-freezer, and apparently that's insufficient coverage to
allow us to train in council-owned facilities! - Splitting hairs or what?!? As a consequence, they've done a little digging and also unearthed the fact that I'm not really a qualified cricket coach. Whilst I can understand them being a bit miffed that I've misled them a tad over the whole insurance thing, I do take issue with the aspersions they're casting over my coaching credentials, as I'm as qualified a coach as it's possible to be as a blind person! I.E. I've covered the entire Level One syllabus, substituting a cricket ball with the rattley Size3 football, but sadly I can't take the exams with our ball, so I'm not officially qualified. I get absolutely no credit from the soulless council bureaucrats for the fact that I helped set up the West Indies
blind team, that I was offered a job as Zimbabwe's player/coach, and that I've taught cricket to, amongst others, a child with Down's Syndrome and a lad who was totally blind, profoundly deaf and Schizophrenic! (Though I have, in that potted CV, rather glossed over a few details, namely the fact that the West Indies lost by three hundred runs in their last forty over match, that Zimbabwe have probably eaten their bats by now, that the kid with Down's
Syndrome broke my hand, and that the Schizophrenic would have killed me, but for a timely intervention for clemency from the more benevolent voice in his head! And I promise you that that's true!
Well spotted on the ITS thing Scaly, Should I knock one off Stam or Conc do you reckon? I'm inclined to say Stam, given how quickly that trains compared to Conc?
Later, Trev