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agarkar mad-fias on CW.net
- Thread starter amits
- Start date
Magrat Garlick
Rather Mad Witch
In response, the AAAARSE has just been founded.iamdavid said:
Anti All Ajit Agarkar Related Societies Entity
:P
luckyeddie
Cricket Web Staff Member
At this point in time, I make no apologies for re-running the Devil Ducky Interview with the great one...
<quack>
<DD> Mr Agarkar, before we start recording, I should like to do a quick sound-check, please. Would you do me a favour and read what is on the card?
<AA> This one?
<DD> Yes, please.
<AA> It is a very large card
<DD> I have a very large ego
<AA> Pardon?
<DD> I said, 'We are having some difficulty with the sound system'
<AA> "Devil Ducky, you were hatched amongst some reeds beside a Scarborough pond three and a half years ago. Last year, you made your first public appearance as first prize in a 'Twopenny Falls' machine in Corrigans Amusement Arcade. You were hired...." Look, DD. Is this strictly necessary?
<DD> Please continue. Our sound man Arthur is still having difficulty with your accent.
<AA> My accent?
<DD> Yes. To tell the truth, he's new. Continue, please.
<AA> Where was I?
<DD> "You were hired...."
<AA> Very well. "You were hired by Cricket Web one week later and were an instant success. In addition, you have carefully nursed LuckyEddie, at great personal sacrifice, through his first tottering steps towards achieving his lifelong ambition of becoming a tolerably adequate Sports Journalist....." Where is this sound man, Arthur?
<DD> He's in the kitchen. That's where all the sophisticated sound equipment is.
<AA> All I saw in the kitchen was a small, old-fashioned reel-to-reel tape recorder. Oh yes, and a sheep.
<DD> Yes, that's Arthur. His full name is Arthur X. (shouts) Arthur - have we got enough yet?
<Arthur X> Not yet, Mr Ducky, Sir
<DD> Just a few more lines, please, Mr Agarkar.
<AA> OK. ....."Despite your best efforts, he has failed miserably. You, on the other hand, have gone from strength to strength and become an icon in the sphere of international cricket. Tonight, Devil Ducky, 'This is Your Life'......" What is this?
<DD> My mothers motto was 'Be Prepared'
<AA> Can we start the interview, please? I am a very busy man and my wife Fatima will be here soon.
<DD> Are we OK, now, Arthur?
<Arthur X> Baaaaarely...
<DD> Ok, rolling. Ladies and gentlemen, we are fortunate today to have one of the greatest heroes of Cricket Web in the studio this evening - Ajit Agarkar.
(canned applause)
<AA> Good evening, DD.
<DD> Good evening. Ajit. When you were a boy in Mumbai did you ever imagine that you would become a household name throughout the cricketing world?
<AA> Oh, I used to dream, like all young lads I suppose. My father was a huge cricket fan, and I suppose that's why in part I was named Ajit...
<DD> After Ajit Wadekar?
<AA> Yes, I was born in the same city, we played for the same club - and Mr Wadekar is a very good friend of the family.
<DD> Did he have any influence on how you played?
<AA> Naturally...
<DD> But he was left-handed, you are right-handed, he was a slow bowler, you on the other hand are a fast (giggle) bowler...
<AA> Look, if you are not going to take this seriously...
<DD> Sorry, bit of a cough. Ahem. To continue, how did Ajit Wadekar influence your career?
<AA> Well, he is always available to talk to, he knows so much about the international game. It's true that we are very different as players, but he is an inspiration to me.
<DD> The name - Ajit. I understand that it has a significant meaning?
<AA> Yes, it means "Invincible" or "Cannot be conquered".
<DD> Tell us about your last seven innings against Australia.
<AA> I thought that you might bring that up.
<DD> Well, it's only natural that I am going to ask you about the low points of your career as well as the high points...
<AA> You haven't asked me about the high points.
<DD> Are there any?
<AA> You know very well there are. For instance, there was that time when...
<DD> (interrupts) We'll come on to some of your marvellous achievements in a few moments, and I promise that I will not mention the fact that your last seven innings against Australia you have registered seven ducks, but first, a message from our sponsors (play tape 2, please, Arthur)
(sings) "Cricket Web, Cricket Web the only place to be, Cricket Web, Cricket Web with Devil Ducky"
(voice-over) "Tired? Painful shoulder? Buy Moduretic for those minor indiscretions. Covers a multitude of sins."
<DD> Welcome back to "The Duck and I". Ajit Agarkar, before the break you were telling us that in your last eight test match innings against Australia, you had registered a total of just 19 runs. Could you tell me how many you scored on your debut against them?
<AA> 19 - hey, you said....
<DD> (whispers) ssshhh - I didn't.
<AA> It's true that I have struggled with the bat against Australia, but they are a fine team
<DD> Granted. You came on to the scene with a bang what - five, six years ago - and people were talking about you being the new Kapil Dev
<AA> Yes?
<DD> He was a great player, wasn't he? 434 test match wickets, 5248 runs, 8 centuries...
<AA> I agree that Kapil Dev was a wonderful player, but if you wanted to talk about him, why didn't you ask him to your, er, studio?
<DD> He wanted paying.
<AA> I am leaving - right now (gets up to leave).
<DD> Tell us about your records, Mr Agarkar....
<AA> What?
<DD> (pats chair) your records, Mr Agarkar..
<AA> Well, I scored the fastest fifty in a one-day international by an Indian player
<DD> Against Zimbabwe, yes, 21 balls...
<AA> Meaning?
<DD> Nothing at all.
<AA> I'm sorry, I thought that you were belittling the standard of the opposition. I mean, Mark Bouchers 19-baller came against Kenya
<DD> Fine side - destroyed Sri Lanka today
<AA> OK, bad example...
<DD> Mr Agarkar, yours was a fine innings - I saw it...
<AA> (agitated) It was before you were born...
<DD> ...on film earlier today. And I was 1 at the time.
<AA> It was faster than Kapil Dev's fastest fifty....
<DD> ...and you were also the quickest Indian to take fifty wickets in one-day internationals..
<AA> Not just India. I was the fastest of all time to 50 ODI wickets - just 23 matches.
<DD> Ajit Agarkar, thank you once again for coming in to the studio tonight
<AA> (interrupts) I was the 14th fastest in the world to reach 100 ODI wickets
<DD> Next week, we hope to have Shane Warne...
<AA> (interrupts) The sixth fastest to 150
<DD> ... in to talk about Why you should "just say no" to your mum
<AA> (interrupts) I scored an undefeated hundred at Lords. What are your sporting credentials, Mr so-called Devil Ducky?
<DD> At least my name isn't Devil Seven-Ducky
<AA> Roast duck is my favourite food
<quack>
<DD> Mr Agarkar, before we start recording, I should like to do a quick sound-check, please. Would you do me a favour and read what is on the card?
<AA> This one?
<DD> Yes, please.
<AA> It is a very large card
<DD> I have a very large ego
<AA> Pardon?
<DD> I said, 'We are having some difficulty with the sound system'
<AA> "Devil Ducky, you were hatched amongst some reeds beside a Scarborough pond three and a half years ago. Last year, you made your first public appearance as first prize in a 'Twopenny Falls' machine in Corrigans Amusement Arcade. You were hired...." Look, DD. Is this strictly necessary?
<DD> Please continue. Our sound man Arthur is still having difficulty with your accent.
<AA> My accent?
<DD> Yes. To tell the truth, he's new. Continue, please.
<AA> Where was I?
<DD> "You were hired...."
<AA> Very well. "You were hired by Cricket Web one week later and were an instant success. In addition, you have carefully nursed LuckyEddie, at great personal sacrifice, through his first tottering steps towards achieving his lifelong ambition of becoming a tolerably adequate Sports Journalist....." Where is this sound man, Arthur?
<DD> He's in the kitchen. That's where all the sophisticated sound equipment is.
<AA> All I saw in the kitchen was a small, old-fashioned reel-to-reel tape recorder. Oh yes, and a sheep.
<DD> Yes, that's Arthur. His full name is Arthur X. (shouts) Arthur - have we got enough yet?
<Arthur X> Not yet, Mr Ducky, Sir
<DD> Just a few more lines, please, Mr Agarkar.
<AA> OK. ....."Despite your best efforts, he has failed miserably. You, on the other hand, have gone from strength to strength and become an icon in the sphere of international cricket. Tonight, Devil Ducky, 'This is Your Life'......" What is this?
<DD> My mothers motto was 'Be Prepared'
<AA> Can we start the interview, please? I am a very busy man and my wife Fatima will be here soon.
<DD> Are we OK, now, Arthur?
<Arthur X> Baaaaarely...
<DD> Ok, rolling. Ladies and gentlemen, we are fortunate today to have one of the greatest heroes of Cricket Web in the studio this evening - Ajit Agarkar.
(canned applause)
<AA> Good evening, DD.
<DD> Good evening. Ajit. When you were a boy in Mumbai did you ever imagine that you would become a household name throughout the cricketing world?
<AA> Oh, I used to dream, like all young lads I suppose. My father was a huge cricket fan, and I suppose that's why in part I was named Ajit...
<DD> After Ajit Wadekar?
<AA> Yes, I was born in the same city, we played for the same club - and Mr Wadekar is a very good friend of the family.
<DD> Did he have any influence on how you played?
<AA> Naturally...
<DD> But he was left-handed, you are right-handed, he was a slow bowler, you on the other hand are a fast (giggle) bowler...
<AA> Look, if you are not going to take this seriously...
<DD> Sorry, bit of a cough. Ahem. To continue, how did Ajit Wadekar influence your career?
<AA> Well, he is always available to talk to, he knows so much about the international game. It's true that we are very different as players, but he is an inspiration to me.
<DD> The name - Ajit. I understand that it has a significant meaning?
<AA> Yes, it means "Invincible" or "Cannot be conquered".
<DD> Tell us about your last seven innings against Australia.
<AA> I thought that you might bring that up.
<DD> Well, it's only natural that I am going to ask you about the low points of your career as well as the high points...
<AA> You haven't asked me about the high points.
<DD> Are there any?
<AA> You know very well there are. For instance, there was that time when...
<DD> (interrupts) We'll come on to some of your marvellous achievements in a few moments, and I promise that I will not mention the fact that your last seven innings against Australia you have registered seven ducks, but first, a message from our sponsors (play tape 2, please, Arthur)
(sings) "Cricket Web, Cricket Web the only place to be, Cricket Web, Cricket Web with Devil Ducky"
(voice-over) "Tired? Painful shoulder? Buy Moduretic for those minor indiscretions. Covers a multitude of sins."
<DD> Welcome back to "The Duck and I". Ajit Agarkar, before the break you were telling us that in your last eight test match innings against Australia, you had registered a total of just 19 runs. Could you tell me how many you scored on your debut against them?
<AA> 19 - hey, you said....
<DD> (whispers) ssshhh - I didn't.
<AA> It's true that I have struggled with the bat against Australia, but they are a fine team
<DD> Granted. You came on to the scene with a bang what - five, six years ago - and people were talking about you being the new Kapil Dev
<AA> Yes?
<DD> He was a great player, wasn't he? 434 test match wickets, 5248 runs, 8 centuries...
<AA> I agree that Kapil Dev was a wonderful player, but if you wanted to talk about him, why didn't you ask him to your, er, studio?
<DD> He wanted paying.
<AA> I am leaving - right now (gets up to leave).
<DD> Tell us about your records, Mr Agarkar....
<AA> What?
<DD> (pats chair) your records, Mr Agarkar..
<AA> Well, I scored the fastest fifty in a one-day international by an Indian player
<DD> Against Zimbabwe, yes, 21 balls...
<AA> Meaning?
<DD> Nothing at all.
<AA> I'm sorry, I thought that you were belittling the standard of the opposition. I mean, Mark Bouchers 19-baller came against Kenya
<DD> Fine side - destroyed Sri Lanka today
<AA> OK, bad example...
<DD> Mr Agarkar, yours was a fine innings - I saw it...
<AA> (agitated) It was before you were born...
<DD> ...on film earlier today. And I was 1 at the time.
<AA> It was faster than Kapil Dev's fastest fifty....
<DD> ...and you were also the quickest Indian to take fifty wickets in one-day internationals..
<AA> Not just India. I was the fastest of all time to 50 ODI wickets - just 23 matches.
<DD> Ajit Agarkar, thank you once again for coming in to the studio tonight
<AA> (interrupts) I was the 14th fastest in the world to reach 100 ODI wickets
<DD> Next week, we hope to have Shane Warne...
<AA> (interrupts) The sixth fastest to 150
<DD> ... in to talk about Why you should "just say no" to your mum
<AA> (interrupts) I scored an undefeated hundred at Lords. What are your sporting credentials, Mr so-called Devil Ducky?
<DD> At least my name isn't Devil Seven-Ducky
<AA> Roast duck is my favourite food
Richard
Cricket Web Staff Member
Not just on that; on the many before it, most recently in England and South Africa. That was simply the final straw.marc71178 said:
And when have I ever mentioned a theory, however bizarre, that no bowler can ever say they deserved wickets in an extremely substandard pitch? I may have said (I certainly hope I have) that any wickets taken on an extremely substandard pitch must always be kept in context, but as long as the balls were good, it doesn't matter.
Anyway, neither of those pitches (those for the First and Second Tests) were substandard - there was just too much seam. There was nothing wrong, by reports I read, with the evenness of the bounce.
If Agarkar can't make use of a very seam-friendly pitch, and can go for nearly 4-an-over on it (when nearly everyone else has been economical and penetrative) it's simply a shame for him. If he only bowled 11 overs he can blame himself only for going for so many runs in them.
Arjun
Cricketer Of The Year
It's really disappointing, when as an Indian fan, I have to support players of my own state more. I am unbiased and will only support the most effective players, no matter where they're from.
As for Agarkar, he's a bowler of limited ability. His best effort is a walk in the park for McGrath or Donald, both of whom can bat as well as Agarkar. That's (limited ability) is because of his height, or the lack of it. A lot of world-class fast bowlers are tall, many VERY tall. The short ones, mostly from India such as Agarkar, Harvinder Singh(class of 97), Chetan Sharma and Manoj Prabhakar (from the past) and the Sri Lankans Wickremasinghe and Buddika were all short. They all were bowlers of limited ability. None of them had good bowlign averages. Stats, and stature, tell the story.
As for Agarkar, he's a bowler of limited ability. His best effort is a walk in the park for McGrath or Donald, both of whom can bat as well as Agarkar. That's (limited ability) is because of his height, or the lack of it. A lot of world-class fast bowlers are tall, many VERY tall. The short ones, mostly from India such as Agarkar, Harvinder Singh(class of 97), Chetan Sharma and Manoj Prabhakar (from the past) and the Sri Lankans Wickremasinghe and Buddika were all short. They all were bowlers of limited ability. None of them had good bowlign averages. Stats, and stature, tell the story.
Brett Lee & Chaminda Vaas are both about 6ft , and they are class acts IMO , Darren Gough was never even that tall & you couldnt discount his ability , James Kirtley wasnt big.Arjun said:
And the man , IMO the best bowler ever , Malcom Marshall , was only 5ft 10.
Mr Mxyzptlk
Request Your Custom Title Now!
You make it sound like Gough and Kirtley are dead.iamdavid said:
luckyeddie
Cricket Web Staff Member
Arjun said:
