A few English commentator fart limericks

[Sunil Wind]

There was a young fellow called Nass
who produced quite adequate gas
for farts that were grunty.
Instead they were runty
he was stingy with those too alas.

David Gower was moved to express
some thoughts on his farting prowess.
"If you get too flustered
farts can turn to custard.
You must ease them out with finesse."

There was a young man named Bumble
whose tummy did start to rumble.
The blast he did create
was supersmashinggreat
but he stayed ever so humble.

A fellow named Mikey dodged blame
for farts he could rightfully claim.
Slipped out while sitting
which makes it fitting
whispering death was his nickname.

Once Athers was moved to expound
on why his defence was so sound.
"My farts at the crease
did not ever cease
and from them the ball did rebound."

A fellow called Nick I heard tell
could make quite an unpleasant smell.
His namesake was Hedley
but with farts so deadly
Underwood would have done just as well.

Some parks, as insurance, from Beefy
demand a novel en tryfee.
His farts are such a blight
it is felt that they might
defoliate anything leafy.

 

[Gnske]

A better thread than we've had all year.

 

[Athlai]

This is a bold first post. Good job.

 

[straw man]

Mods please move this to the Breaking News thread

 

[indiaholic]

Disappointed you didn't choose Sameer as your username.

 

[Stapel]

This is a bold first post. Good job.

I can see his post counter not leaving 1 though!

 

[Howe_zat]

This is a bold first post. Good job.

no it isn't

There was a young fellow called Nass
who produced quite adequate gas
for farts that were grunty.
Instead they were runty
he was stingy with those too alas.

David Gower was moved to express
some thoughts on his farting prowess.
"If you get too flustered
farts can turn to custard.
You must ease them out with finesse."

There was a young man named Bumble
whose tummy did start to rumble.
The blast he did create
was supersmashinggreat
but he stayed ever so humble.

A fellow named Mikey dodged blame
for farts he could rightfully claim.
Slipped out while sitting
which makes it fitting
whispering death was his nickname.

Once Athers was moved to expound
on why his defence was so sound.
"My farts at the crease
did not ever cease
and from them the ball did rebound."

A fellow called Nick I heard tell
could make quite an unpleasant smell.
His namesake was Hedley
but with farts so deadly
Underwood would have done just as well.

Some parks, as insurance, from Beefy
demand a novel en tryfee.
His farts are such a blight
it is felt that they might
defoliate anything leafy.

now it is

 

[fredfertang]

no it isn't



now it is

A career within HMCTS beckons ....................

 

[vcs]

This is a bold first post. Good job.

Quite a solid effort, one might say.. actually no, that doesn't work.

 

[Howe_zat]

A career within HMCTS beckons ....................

i actually got a new job today

 

[fredfertang]

i actually got a new job today

Congrats

 

[indiaholic]

i actually got a new job today

Congratulations!