Invent a new Olympic event

[flibbertyjibber]

Three-legged swimming (like the running version but in the pool).

Given the Chinese divers are Long/Wang we could say you might get a 3 legged race if you had a big one.

 

[Ali TT]

Slapping lipstick on a pig

And representing Team GB, a veteran of the sport, Lord David Cameron.

 

[trundler]

Bring bomb disposal to the Olympics.

 

[flibbertyjibber]

Bring bomb disposal to the Olympics.

Then losers enter paralympics a month later...

 

[howitzer]

Then losers enter paralympics a month later...

Some will enter traditional Paralympic sports like Athletics, Cycling and Wheelchair Rugby, whilst others will enter the brand new Coffin Racing.

 

[Fuller Pilch]

I think force back (punting a rugby ball over the opponent's line) would be a great Olympic sport.

 

[Son Of Coco]

And representing Team GB, a veteran of the sport, Lord David Cameron.

That would be slapping lipstick in a pig.

 

[Son Of Coco]

Anything whilst pissed.

As anyone who has ever taken a drink will know, even the simplest of tasks become much trickier when, as I believe the current vernacular would have it, one is as pissed as a fart.

In the UK (bar Scotland) the legal drink drive blood alcohol content limit is 80 milligrams per 100 millilitres of blood, so all competitors should have a BAC of at least 200mg per 100ml.

How much more exciting would (say) boxing or bmx freestyle be if all the athletes were drunk as ****? How much concentration would it take just for sprinters to take their marks without falling off and/or chundering?

It would be hilarious when they say "take your marks", and then while they are holding, someone of the runners collapse into a slow forward roll, ending up splayed on the track.

To this end, I nominate the 20 x spin around a broomstick handle 50m dash. The timer starts when the athletes start spinning and stops when they cross a finish line 50m away having spun around whilst having their forehead on the broomstick handle as it is in contact with the ground before starting the 50m sprint.

 

[honestbharani]

Brook's side preparing for the tedious lists competition as we speak.

Never knew Brook's Side was Chris Jericho.

 

[Hungry Llama]

Egg and Spoon
Sack race [mixed relay]
Yard of Ale
ninja warrior

 

[Coronis]

Damn. Watching Futurama just now, can’t believe this wasn’t suggested yet… Limbo!

Completely unbiased scoring - requires amazing athletic ability.

 

[CartyDurham]

Scrabble

Yahtzee

Ker Plunk

Dominoes

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

After a few whiskeys and watching the olympics, the wife and I came up with a multi-sport event which tried to combine the majority of disciplines in the olympics.

Hard to remember precisely what it was but I think:

Start off with a triathlon-style open water swim-cycle-run of some sort. Get the easy stuff out of the way.
Next, the canoe slalom. You go down the course as you get there, so it would have to be a bit more like the kayak/cross version
Then, the "archery" - this is a range of archery targets of various distances from 10m to 50m - with an array of field tools (javelin, shot, discus, hammer, bow and arrow - you can use each tool once) and you score time penalties based on where you hit the targets.
Then, some kind of obstacle course style event - get the long, high and triple jump stuff in there, but also some gymnastics style rings, vault, beam work etc. At the end of the obstacle course, there's a dive into a pool - again, time penalties for poor scores before a medley swim to the next event.
Out you get, straight onto your mountain bike for a cross-country biathlon style cycling and shooting course. Time penalties for missing your target or extra loops to ride like in the cross-country skiing.
Finish that and lift a few atlas stones before you get into a single-scull rowing boat to do a nifty km. Back to the start of the rowing, but this time in a sprint kayak.
Out of the water again for another multi-sport challenge.
This time, the basketball net. You have to get a waterpolo, volleyball, table tennis ball (and why not chuck the table tennis bat too), shuttlecock, tennis ball, rugby ball and basketball through the hoop before you can move on.
Onto the skateboard to go as quickly as possible through some dystopian urban wilderness
Out onto some sailing skiff where a wrestler tries to stop you from getting on the boat.
And sail over the finish line.

The winner wins the olympics.

 

[howitzer]

Twister.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Twister.

Good name for my new sport combo. Bound to have a twisted joint or two after that.

 

[andruid]

10,000m steeplechase

 

[Ali TT]

Horse v man race

 

[Kenneth Viljoen]

Chase Tag

 

[reyrey]

That looks a bit like parkour.

They really should have had parkour in the Paris Olympics instead of the breakdancing given it was developed in France.

 

[Fuller Pilch]

In all seriousness, cross country and mountain running.