*Official* Ashes 2023 Limerick Thread

[ashley bach]

It wasn't long before Tongue came into play
And boy did he give Head a rough day
But it was Root who inevitably came into the fray
That is until Cummins splattered all over his prey
Which eventually left England somewhat dismayed.

 

[BoyBrumby]

England now have a Tongue for the slot
He's ready to show a quick boy they've got
He sent it down fast
The Aussies lost their arse
And off heading faceward goes money shot

 

[GIMH]

England now have a Tongue for the slot
He's ready to show a quick boy they've got
He sent it down fast
The Aussies lost their arse
And off heading faceward goes money shot

Fast and arse only rhyme if you speak southern. Took me a minute to work it out. Though you could replace arse with ass I suppose

 

[Michelle Fivefer]

Fast and arse only rhyme if you speak southern. Took me a minute to work it out. Though you could replace arse with ass I suppose

It’s what the Americans do…

 

[BoyBrumby]

Fast and arse only rhyme if you speak southern. English properly. I fail to see how anyone could think otherwise.

Fixed that up for you, chap. No charge.

 

[GIMH]

Fixed that up for you, chap. No charge.

Thought you’d say that but it’s clearly false. Completely unnecessary changing of the sound. Imbeciles. No wonder the north is culturally superior in every way

 

[Daemon]

There once was a bowler named Jimmy
Whose face and posts were not very pretty
On flat tracks he'd moan
Oh, this is a drone
I'd rather be bowling on a sticky

 

[Son Of Coco]

For the lovers of the cult called 'Bazball'
It was viewed with some level of gall
That they heaved and they slashed
Looked so good till rain crashed
The party and left it 2 all

 

[Fuller Pilch]

There once was a captain Ben Stokes
Undoubtedly one of life's top blokes
His team was having great fun
Scoring run after run
And then
[limerick ends suddenly]

I'm picking "something, something, Ben Foakes".

 

[the big bambino]

There was a ginger keep
Who tried to catch Marnus asleep
But he was caught napping
While he was out batting
Whattabout spirit o' th' game? he'd weep.

 

[Daemon]

There were two blind men, Joel and Kumar
Who ran a rather fancy whiskey bar
“I’ll have the Lagavulin 18 please”
As Joel turned to retrieve
The 6 year old Dewar’s

 

[nick-o]

There was a young keeper called Foakes
Dropping him was quite a faux
pa; young Bairstow was clearly sub
par, but Stokes stuck by his snub.
Bah! Sometimes there's nowt as queer as folks.

 

[the big bambino]

There was a fat **** piers Morgan
Who rather resembled an organ
From his stiff upper lip
He’d shoot then he’d drip
Only to fap his jaw again

 

[Michelle Fivefer]

Cricket’s a funny old game
Fans look for someone to blame.
At first it was Crawley
Whose batting looked poorly -
But his final high tally brought fame.

 

[Son Of Coco]

A man-child called Joe Root was famous
For using his balls to block deliveries so heinous
He said "It's happened so many times,
They're now as big as limes
And they permanently orbit Myanus".