1st Test at Brisbane, 8th-12th of December 2021

[Gnske]

Oh and the Martyn story of course, I can't help it. It was a different time.

HE MIGHT not be part of an Australian team any more — which must be an even harder pill to swallow this week given that a Test match is about to be played in his home town of Perth — but don't think that Damien Martyn still has any trouble making headlines in the local press. Pity he has had to do it this way, though. When Ricky Ponting and his boys awoke in Perth yesterday they did so to a report in

The West Australian newspaper of an amazing incident that took place in a Perth hotel last Friday involving Martyn, his former fiancee Helen Appleyard and some of her girlfriends. Appleyard, who ended her three-year relationship with Martyn in 2003 after she allegedly found intimate text messages to another woman on his mobile phone, told the paper she was at the Subiaco Hotel and, spotting a former business colleague, she walked over to say hello and then, realising that Martyn was standing next to him, she said hello to him, too. According to Appleyard, Martyn responded by saying "f--- off, f--- off, you're a slut", and even though his friends tried to calm him, he then took aim at her girlfriends. Said Appleyard: "He started looking at all the girls that were with me, about half a dozen of us, and he said to one, 'You can f--- off, you're ugly', and said to another, 'You're all right, you can stay'. The worst was when he said to one girl, 'You can f--- off, you've got a fat arse' and she was absolutely devastated and went home because she was so upset."

THAT woman, Karen Clarke, has since confirmed the "fat arse" slur, telling

The West Australian she was extremely insulted, particularly as she said her dress size was six. "He is a professional sportsman and it was totally uncalled for," she said. "It upset everyone." Another woman in the group, who did not want to be named, said the fact that Martyn and Appleyard had broken up acrimoniously did not give him licence to abuse the group. "Their relationship is totally irrelevant," she said. "The rest of the group don't even know him and he basically told us all individually to f--- off and started hurling abuse of a ***ual nature." Cricket Australia public affairs manager Peter Young said no action would be taken against Martyn.

 

[mr_mister]

It is a pretty brutal insult. I wonder what he'd done by 2004 to be known as a brown noser? Haha

 

[ashley bach]

Here’s reality

Australia will probably win this test

Harris should never have been picked

Both Starc and Lyon should have be on their final chances

All will be picked for the next test

All can be true

All will ''likely'' be true.
If Nathan Gary Lyon doesn't get his 400th wicket this test or the next he plays, the selectors should leave him stranded.

 

[Gnske]

I think I've only ever mentioned it in regards to it supposedly leading to CA ceasing their agreement with Cricinfo to run their website and do ball by ball commentary on shield games

thanks a lot Langer ya dick

I do remember a discussion about that with you involved. It must have been @Burgey that must have necromancy-d the article in the convo, I have little doubt.

 

[TimAngas]

We will have an opportunity to play someone like Pucovski/Street/Hunt as an opener next summer against the West Indies. Similarly Swepson will surely get his chance. Right now I think Khawaja opening would be the best choice, purely in terms of maximising our chances of winning the series.

Warner
Khawaja
Labuschagne
Smith

is a formidable top order on home pitches.

 

[_Ed_]

Oh and the Martyn story of course, I can't help it. It was a different time.

The "you're all right, you can stay" still makes me laugh.

 

[Gnske]

The "you're all right, you can stay" still makes me laugh.

My favourite part is the woman had to clarify she was a size six to a state newspaper so she couldn't possibly have a fat arse.

 

[mr_mister]

Fat arses are good and desirable now too. Times really have changed

 

[ashley bach]

Oh and the Martyn story of course, I can't help it. It was a different time.

Wow!!
Sounds like Damien momentarily really lost his dial.

 

[Gnske]

Fat arses are good now too

@TheJediBrah

 

[Gob]

Oh and the Martyn story of course, I can't help it. It was a different time.

 

[Shri]

Atleast he was good in the subcontinent

Most batsmen in that tour were. They performed a touch above expectations because Smith was bullheaded about snagging a series win and prepared for the series in the UAE and publically spoke about adapting to conditions and hanging in etc

 

[ImpatientLime]

i really hope they do drop lyon as unlike starc, there are no viable candidates to replace him. whoever comes in will get flogged as they are all several rungs down in terms of quality.

unless you go full meme and pick a four prong pace attack.

 

[Burgey]

Love that brown nosed gnome reference. I'm always surprised when you show yourself to have like.... Heaps of cricket knowledge because I'm so used to you talking about literally anything but the actual sport this site is dedicated to

He had to up his cricket posting game and defend the good name of the sport since England named Oswald Mosley as vice captain.

 

[Shady Slim]

obviously a bit early on the crow here but that's an exemplary fightback from root and malan today - obviously it could all come unstuck and they could be just as easily 250ao as they could be 550ao but they have made hay while the sun shined and with any luck can continue to do that tomorrow, credit where it's due

 

[Aritro]

Anyway I've seen enough test cricket to see this script where teams put up a fight in the 3rd dig to get the hopes up until they lose a bunch to the 2nd new ball. Good on England if they can go pass that

Yeah, this basically. I reckon they'll make about 330 although their cause is helped enormously by half the Australian attack being completely ineffectual at the moment.

 

[Woodster]

Well, well, well. What a fantastic finish to the day for England with Malan and Root batting beautifully and just giving us a sniff of getting back in it. Aussie still clear favourites but this has been a good day.

Enjoyed reading through this thread, all the claims of such a one-sided Test, will they make it to the weekend, etc, etc. New ball could destroy any hopes of a Lazarus-like comeback but these two have shown some fight and real quality.

Still the Aussies to lose.

 

[Stapel]

Hi all!
Long time no see.

obviously a bit early on the crow here but that's an exemplary fightback from root and malan today - obviously it could all come unstuck and they could be just as easily 250ao as they could be 550ao but they have made hay while the sun shined and with any luck can continue to do that tomorrow, credit where it's due

This day reminded me of the first test 11 years ago. England scored 250, rather than 150, in the first innings, but it was still under par, especially when Australia replied with 450. But then the Poms scored 500/1 on day 4 & 5.

 

[Uppercut]

obviously a bit early on the crow here but that's an exemplary fightback from root and malan today - obviously it could all come unstuck and they could be just as easily 250ao as they could be 550ao but they have made hay while the sun shined and with any luck can continue to do that tomorrow, credit where it's due

England don't really do 500+ scores. I guess they have to start somewhere but 220/2 doesn't feel like it opens up the possibility of just batting indefinitely the way it does when other teams reach a score like that.

EDIT: though tbf they did have the first test in India and the Crawley knock against Pakistan, so maybe it's more common than it feels. They seem to go from 200/1 to 350ao a lot.

 

[Nintendo]

Surely Maddog should get another crack. He killed it as an opener in the shield, Harris forced him back down the order, and now Harris is being exposed as the useless muppet he is on the grand stage. Straight swap for Maddog imo

Maddog doesn't have the A-runs to his name, also batted 4 the past 2 shield seasons