1st Test at Brisbane, 8th-12th of December 2021

[Gnske]

I'd rather Inglis makes his debut tbh if he's already usurped Carey in the LO cricket. Invest early.

Although, it could be fun watching Carey slap them right to cover and point for all his dismissals.

 

[straw man]

It's a ****ing trumpet you knob.

It's a bassoon, actually.

He's nowhere near skilful enough to play a bugle.

thought I'd stumbled into the 'Tim Paine ***ting scandal, will resign' thread for a moment

 

[flibbertyjibber]

Wonder if it will be a schlong break for Paine?

 

[Gnske]

Will need awhile to come to a grip with his girthy dilemma.

 

[Shady Slim]

Although, it could be fun watching Carey slap them right to cover and point for all his dismissals.

this is already provided for by travis head

 

[Jarquis]

Apparently Paine is taking indefinite leave form all forms of cricket. Hope he's doing ok.

It'll give the Barmy Army time to make up a nice, not at all personal and offensive ditty about him though, so that'll be good for their supporters on here I suppose/

Doesn’t sound like it from what his agent has said.

Say what you want about the actual events at the time but I do feel a bit for him and his family. Having already had to navigate and deal with this at the time, to have old wounds picked apart in the media sometime later and go through it all again and that’s coming from somebody who has little to no time for infidelity

 

[Starfighter]

Brett Lee is saying that Cummins shouldn't be captain because the role is too hard for a fast bowler.

It might be too hard for you matey. I must refer to our excellent lexicon:

Brett Lee

Thick

"Brett Lee is just plain Brett Lee"

 

[Spikey]

He's actually taking a break because he got out in the 2nd XI game for 7 playing a hook

Tough to come back from that

 

[flibbertyjibber]

Oh a happy hooker. Got in trouble for that already.

 

[Starfighter]

Ashes 2015: Jake Doran should make Test debut at The Oval, says Stuart MacGill

The wildest Ashes suggestion you’ll hear

www.foxsports.com.au

Clearly it's time for this to come true.

 

[Gnske]

Ashes 2015: Jake Doran should make Test debut at The Oval, says Stuart MacGill

The wildest Ashes suggestion you’ll hear

www.foxsports.com.au

Clearly it's time for this to come true.

Jesus ****ing christ

“Damien Martyn, Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke, Phillip Hughes and Jake Doran are the five guys I can think that I have heard more noises about and more certainty about from (an early age). They were tipped at 16 to play significant numbers of Test matches for Australia and make a lot of runs.

“Jake’s the only one who hasn’t played for Australia yet. These guys were prolific run-scorers and they were always tipped to be.”

Oh dear, he doesn't understand how time works.

 

[Burgey]

Jesus Christ that's terrible isn't it? No wonder MacGill was kidnapped. Kept him away from the keyboard.

 

[tony p]

I think we need Matthew Wade back as keeper, certainly will piss the Poms off.

 

[social]

I think we need Matthew Wade back as keeper, certainly will piss the Poms off.

Due to his inability to score runs or catch

 

[Pup Clarke]

Can't wait to hear Wade's rendition of "Nice Garry" repeatedly as Rory Burns moves serenely to 34 off 158 balls

 

[Red_Ink_Squid]

Can't wait to hear Wade's rendition of "Nice Garry" repeatedly as Rory Burns moves serenely to 34 off 158 balls

Even though it's a hypothetical, this still must be the first time Rory Burns' batting has ever been described as 'serene'.

 

[andruid]

Scandal or no scandal, Australia will have to be pretty terrible to lose a game. Even with Stokes back in the XI this is the worst English batting lineup since the mid-90's, and possibly even worse than that.

All Stokes needs is one or two other people to absorb 50 deliveries each as he Thanoses you to kingdom come

 

[Gnske]

The Seven commentary team has been released and oh boy, what BIG stars.

 

[Blenkinsop]

Thanks to this thread, I am picturing a Barmy Army-less Gabba as a haven of tranquility and enlightenment, where Australian fans occasionally break off from discussing Plato's later dialogues to sample a local olive or murmur 'Steady on, old chap' when Rory Burns' strike rate exceeds 25.

 

[Burgey]

They don't grow olives in Brisbane, ffs. Everyone with an ounce of culture and regard for these things knows the climate is not conducive to it, you heathen.