Everyone knows this thread only exists because you just copped a ban.
Yes and if you actually gave a **** instead of posting the whole missive in order to wedge the mods about your own ban, you wouldn't have included the bolded, would you?
I made an error of judgement as to the nature of a thread and closed to about six posts later than I should have, and I apologised for it. Stuff like that happens all the time with volunteer moderation teams on forums across the internet, and it always will. I don't think it's the scandal of the century and I don't think you do either. We know what you're doing. Whenever you cop seven you send a couple of emails, then come back and kick up as big a stink as possible about whatever issues pop up for three weeks in attempts to make us subconsciously think "ugh it's not actually worth banning for a week if we have to deal with all that will follow", so you can go on dropping veiled personal attacks left, right and centre.
And the emails you actually do send. Ugh. I'm not going to breach your privacy by actually quoting them, but when you start emails by aggressively asking if we're kidding ourselves, or put up defences that are clearly in no way mitigating like asking us to explain why something isn't true (newsflash: nowhere in the rules does it say personal attacks have to false for them to get infractions) then yeah we probably won't bother replying. Asking you to email us instead of ranting on the forum was in no way a promise to actually reply to the emails; we were just making it clear that it was preferred method of receiving of your rants.
Our moderation of 5-point infractions is never going to perfectly consistent. I can't promise it will be and neither can anyone else who'd be appointed in my place. But if you consistently post how you do, every so often you're going to cop three of them and have a week off. Sometimes the three won't even be for your three worst posts, but it's bit like what happens if you consistently speed on the highway. You might get pulled up going 4km/hr over the speed limit when you sometimes go more than 12 and get away with it, but if you do all the time you're eventually going to be sat down for a little while. I love you as a forum personality and I still want to buy you that beer so we can chat in person instead of this less-good dispute resolution platform, but when you're this guy then copping short bans sometimes is basically an occupational hazard. If you don't want it to happen then change your posting habits.
I hope you appreciate the honest and public response as opposed to the canned annoying corporate speak I could've given you instead, but I know there's an even chance you'll just call it unprofessional and declare my position untenable instead. Meh.