**Official** New Zealand in Australia 2015

[Daemon]

Isn't it amazing. Lose the Ashes, and about an hour into the first Test they're beating their chests again.

I would go so far as to say this is the most despisable sporting side put together since the 1987 Detroit Pistons. I really can't think of another (unless you consider the 2014 Australian cricket side to be a different entity)

NZ are **** too man. Bit of success and suddenly they think they're all that. McCullum writing columns about cricketers he wishes he could be, pretending to be brave by blindly swinging when all he wants to do is use aggression as an excuse for failure. Not to mention how he sleeps next to his spirit of cricket award and tries to convince others it actually means something other than the square root of **** all. Club level spinners, an army of mediocre allrounders, fixers, there's literally nothing to like there besides Williamson, Bond and Vettori.

 

[wellAlbidarned]

didn't mention how we punch above our weight. 3/10

 

[Athlai]

Needed more Guptill. -2/10

 

[Flem274*]

Everyone is secretly terrible #salamuddinthoughts

 

[Hurricane]

NZ are **** too man. Bit of success and suddenly they think they're all that. McCullum writing columns about cricketers he wishes he could be, pretending to be brave by blindly swinging when all he wants to do is use aggression as an excuse for failure. Not to mention how he sleeps next to his spirit of cricket award and tries to convince others it actually means something other than the square root of **** all. Club level spinners, an army of mediocre allrounders, fixers, there's literally nothing to like there besides Williamson, Bond and Vettori.

I am going to get Blocky on to you.

 

[Gnske]

Tbh a side that gives away 288 runs to Aaron Finch is eternally more despisable.

Bless adub for pouring salt on these deliciously festering wounds.

 

[SteveNZ]

NZ are **** too man. Bit of success and suddenly they think they're all that. McCullum writing columns about cricketers he wishes he could be, pretending to be brave by blindly swinging when all he wants to do is use aggression as an excuse for failure. Not to mention how he sleeps next to his spirit of cricket award and tries to convince others it actually means something other than the square root of **** all. Club level spinners, an army of mediocre allrounders, fixers, there's literally nothing to like there besides Williamson, Bond and Vettori.

Before I go on, I should declare that I thought Brendon's column was ****house. Otherwise, we're just playing cricket. I'm proud, by and large, of the way we play cricket.

But it's good you mentioned Bond. Remember how he bowled 150+ and that was enough to intimidate batsmen? Apparently not enough for the Mitchells, who in early life used to sleep with the light on and their thumb sucked.

Hazelwood is going to get dropped if he doesn't become a **** bloke soon. Same with Nevill. The Australia public won't put up with future average performances if they come from blokes who aren't keen to emulate Brad Haddin.

 

[Hurricane]

I think to take the trans tasman bantering to new levels I am going to spend the next few days in microsoft paint altering Jpegs to post my true thoughts about Khawaja's "technique" and ungainly/feeble ball striking while also preparing an animated tribute to Ross is Boss that I will post if he is fortunate enough to ton up.

 

[Bahnz]

Guptill won't be gone any time soon hendrix. Of the three toughest tests for openers he's faced two. Scored good runs in England and batted 100+ balls in oz which shows he can at least keep in. When we leave the equal toughest country to tour with UAE and india he's going to feast on sri lanka at home and probably do well enough on our own decks against a dubious away Australian outfit


Hahahahaha oh my god. A few bad days and southee/boult/taylor/watling are "solid enough" with kane the only world class player. Boult is a top five bowler still and with no AB in the mix watling is the best keeper bat

I hate to be Richard, but it's worth remembering that in both of Guptill's 50's in England he got massive let-offs - caught off a no-ball at Lord's, and dropped after edging an absolute sitter to the slips (both would've been classic Gulptill dismissals too) at Headingly. Fundamentally, I don't think he's solved any of the major flaws in his technique. I think he'll make it to the end of the season, but I wouldn't count on him sticking around too long after that.

 

[hendrix]

Honestly have found the NZ chest beating far worse than the aussies.

 

[SteveNZ]

I hate to be Richard, but it's worth remembering that in both of Guptill's 50's in England he got massive let-offs - caught off a no-ball at Lord's, and dropped after edging an absolute sitter to the slips (both would've classic Gulptill dismissals too) at Headingly. Fundamentally, I don't think he's solved any of the major flaws in his technique. I think he'll make it to the end of the season, but I wouldn't count on him sticking around too long after that.

You're right, his major flaws remain. The half forward, partially braced front leg and/or spar outside off stump accounted for him twice in Brisbane and my mind doesn't stretch back to England, but I'm sure that happened there too. It's really concerning when he's still getting out that way on 20 odd having faced a lot of balls, and in theory should have his feet moving. It's why Astle succeeded more in ODIs, and Lou too - both had that flaw which wasn't exposed with an extended cordon period.

 

[Gob]

Keep telling yourself that Flem. I'm Australian, I've seen plenty of real world class players come and go. Taylor, Boult, Southee, ain't. BJ might be in time, he's definite quality. If your lads were playing Shield very few of them would get get a look in.

Dunno whose trolling who isnt but Trent Boult is deffo world class. In fact i even backed him to be the WPFB in time once Steyn hangs his shoes. Dunno what he had for breakfast at the Gabba but i expect him to come good
Never had much time for Taylor though. Just dont think he is good good enough against quality fast bowling. Dont see anything special in Watling either. Looks a very limited bat but credit for making the best out of that limited ability

 

[SteveNZ]

Honestly have found the NZ chest beating far worse than the aussies.

I must've been doing other things. I lived in the west island joint for 2 and a half years, and during times of victory it was intolerable. I haven't seen a lot of chest beating from us here, and if there is any I can't fathom why.

Never understood the psyche of chest beating over victories, especially for fans - who whilst contributing to revenue thus loosely aiding a professional outfit, have never scored a run or taken a wicket. Found it pretty galling that our All Blacks were so humble in victory, yet fans on social media wanted to stick the boot into England or Australia whilst congratulating themselves for being fans who gorged on early-morning bacon and coffee on the couch.

 

[Bahnz]

NZ are **** too man. Bit of success and suddenly they think they're all that. McCullum writing columns about cricketers he wishes he could be, pretending to be brave by blindly swinging when all he wants to do is use aggression as an excuse for failure. Not to mention how he sleeps next to his spirit of cricket award and tries to convince others it actually means something other than the square root of **** all. Club level spinners, an army of mediocre allrounders, fixers, there's literally nothing to like there besides Williamson, Bond and Vettori.

Ooooh look who's all puffed up just because the local curators abandoned all pretence of producing watchable cricket and managed to produce a **** heap so rancid that even Dean ****in' Elgar could take a bag. Oh India, it's as though you never left us.

 

[Hurricane]

You're right, his major flaws remain. The half forward, partially braced front leg and/or spar outside off stump accounted for him twice in Brisbane and my mind doesn't stretch back to England, but I'm sure that happened there too. It's really concerning when he's still getting out that way on 20 odd having faced a lot of balls, and in theory should have his feet moving. It's why Astle succeeded more in ODIs, and Lou too - both had that flaw which wasn't exposed with an extended cordon period.

Great call on that observation - I have been working on a "spotlight on Martin Guptil" post this evening but lost momentum on it when started laughing on the previous page.

His stance is up the boohai, and stops him from establishing a robust base when he moves on the front foot. Which is a sorry thing to say for a front foot merchant like him. He will have arrived when he can start crunching deliveries on the up through the covers for four.

A couple of times now I have been preparing to make a point about Guptil but someone has beaten me to the punch with that observation, first PEWS and now you. Sign of a good forum.

 

[wellAlbidarned]

Taylor is just one of those guys who looks average when he scores runs, absolutely terrible when he doesn't, and randomly has days when the sun shines out his arse. Definitely a cut below world XI material but any side in the world wouldn't mind having him.

 

[Gob]

needs salamuddin to come and put everyone in their right place

 

[SteveNZ]

Great call on that observation - I have been working on a "spotlight on Martin Guptil" post this evening but lost momentum on it when started laughing on the previous page.

His stance is up the boohai, and stops him from establishing a robust base when he moves on the front foot. Which is a sorry thing to say for a front foot merchant like him. He will have arrived when he can start crunching deliveries on the up through the covers for four.

A couple of times now I have been preparing to make a point about Guptil but someone has beaten me to the punch with that observation, first PEWS and now you. Sign of a good forum.

Only here to help Cane my man. It's temping to say Martin Crowe hasn't done much for Gup if you consider technique, but I think he's done bloody wonders with his mental game. He's pumped up Gup, made him feel like he's the best player in the world. I don't think he achieves what he did at the World Cup without Crowe, probably partially technique but mainly mental. Unfortunately the next steps will need to be technique and I'm not sure where that's coming from.

 

[OverratedSanity]

Ooooh look who's all puffed up just because the local curators abandoned all pretence of producing watchable cricket and managed to produce a **** heap so rancid that even Dean ****in' Elgar could take a bag. Oh India, it's as though you never left us.

KiwaahsFact#1: Ishant, Aaron and Shami took twice as many wickets at Brisbane last year as the Kiwaahs managed this time.

 

[Hurricane]

Only here to help Cane my man. It's temping to say Martin Crowe hasn't done much for Gup if you consider technique, but I think he's done bloody wonders with his mental game. He's pumped up Gup, made him feel like he's the best player in the world. I don't think he achieves what he did at the World Cup without Crowe, probably partially technique but mainly mental. Unfortunately the next steps will need to be technique and I'm not sure where that's coming from.

Interested in your feedback on my "spotlight" I will see if I can get it up in the next 5 minutes,