Any updates on NZ's tour of Oz later this year?

[Skyliner]

Danny Morrison, I think is the worst commentator in world cricket. Bar none.

"Grumpy, down the track to that one and he just smokes it, high, wide, and right out of the park for a maximum. He saw it, the eyes just lit up and he said "I'm gonna help myself to half a dozen". "

 

[CaptainGrumpy]

It's the trope of the Channel 9 coverage that Healy will help a struggling keeper over the course of the summer. We'll be treated to some footage of Healey hard at work, demonstrating glovemanship and body movement to the hapless protege. Then some footage of the master at work back in the day, keeping to Warney.

Also some footage of Slats taking to some attack - the next ball he's clean bowled! Cue laughter!

Meanwhile a real live test continues obliviously in the background.

Yeah, but I am watching the game on tele. I'm not listening to it soley on the radio. I understand that Heals and Tubby get on people's nerves. I am just saying that I enjoy Slater's commentary. I find him genuinely funny and pretty astute. I know a bit about his back story. Not always done the smartest things. But, as a commentator and as an entertainer, because that is what they are paid to do, entertain those who watch. he does it well. If you want to mute the commentary and listen to the radio commentary, you can. I did that often with the NZ v England games rather than listen to Sky.

 

[Skyliner]

Morrison is also wierdly metamorphisising into Alfred E Neuman.

(Apologies for mentioning Danny Morrison).

 

[CaptainGrumpy]

"Grumpy, down the track to that one and he just smokes it, high, wide, and right out of the park for a maximum. He saw it, the eyes just lit up and he said "I'm gonna help myself to half a dozen". "

Grumpy on strike and [Bang] or [wooskah].... its high..... and its another DLF maximum. He saw it and said goodnight, she's out of here, twenty rows back (to the grass field) for half a dozen. Oh its all going on here folks.

 

[Hurricane]

I think that really we need to treat this trip to Africa as part of our building blocks to Australia. Let's select Latham to open the batting in the ODIs just to give him more experience playing in front of crowds.

Half the battle of performing on the big stage is purely stage fright, the more times you do it, the better you get. We aren't taking McCullum apparently so someone has to open, lets hope its him.

I also hope that Henry and some of the other contenders get to bowl. Would pick Bracewell as well even though he sucks in limited overs, just to see how he travels.

 

[Skyliner]

I think that really we need to treat this trip to Africa as part of our building blocks to Australia. Let's select Latham to open the batting in the ODIs just to give him more experience playing in front of crowds.

Half the battle of performing on the big stage is purely stage fright, the more times you do it, the better you get. We aren't taking McCullum apparently so someone has to open, lets hope its him.

I also hope that Henry and some of the other contenders get to bowl. Would pick Bracewell as well even though he sucks in limited overs, just to see how he travels.

I do see this trip as important in building that leadership group, and getting more people to stand up and win games, and perform on the international stage. Should be hugely character building and beneficial in that respect.
Not having Baz, Boult, Southee on the trip is a huge experience void, then no Anderson, Milne as well - it's a great test of our depth and a chance to add to our depth.

 

[CaptainGrumpy]

I am beginning to suspect that he may write his own material.

"Dancing Shoes on, buh bye look out the man on the moon has got a visitor courtesy of Suresh Raina - this guy can strike it miles"

"and this one, yeah buh bye its bigger and its in the second tier"

"straight away, gets the scissors out, and cuts it for four"

"Mr Cucumber is so Cool"

"Clarkey goes big, gets all of it, just like that, all of it down his throat, cannot believe he has to go"

"Don't mess with the MS"

"Check out the astronaught on this one".

"Boom. Its a Kaboom".

"and [insert name] is back for an early shower"

"boom. holy guacomole"

"and this guy will get paid this week"

"absolute freebie from Botha, don't get these every day, especially on a sunday"

"Boom"

"This one has gone to the moon"

"And Smokes it"

" I for Incredible, P for Passion, L for Lovely this IPL"

"Kaboom"

"Smokes It"

"Kazika Boomakay"

 

[Skyliner]

"Dancing Shoes on, buh bye look out the man on the moon has got a visitor courtesy of Suresh Raina - this guy can strike it miles"

"and this one, yeah buh bye its bigger and its in the second tier"

"straight away, gets the scissors out, and cuts it for four"

"Mr Cucumber is so Cool"

"Clarkey goes big, gets all of it, just like that, all of it down his throat, cannot believe he has to go"

"Don't mess with the MS"

"Check out the astronaught on this one".

"Boom. Its a Kaboom".

"and [insert name] is back for an early shower"

"boom. holy guacomole"

"and this guy will get paid this week"

"absolute freebie from Botha, don't get these every day, especially on a sunday"

"Boom"

"This one has gone to the moon"

Smokes it

" I for Incredible, P for Passion, L for Lovely this IPL"

"Kaboom"

"Smokes It"

"Kazika Boomakay"

I'm not sure that he has a clear handle on India's contractual payment laws.

He would have been great as a villain on the campy 60's Batman TV show. There's a bit of Adam West in the DM mix. And The Riddler.
"Holy IPL Batman, its 'The Hyperbole'"
"Hyperbole you fiend!"
Kaboom! Pow! Schlock! Puh-leeaaasseee!

He's enough to make you pray no one hits a six.

 

[CaptainGrumpy]

He would have been great as a villain on the campy 60's Batman TV show. There's a bit of Adam West in the DM mix.
"Holy IPL Batman, its 'The Hyperbole'"
"Hyperbole you fiend!"
Kaboom! Pow! Schlock! Puh-leeaaasseee!

He's enough to make you pray no one hits a six.

Or hits a four.

Or takes a wicket.

Or plays cricket.

"wanna watch the game tonight?" "who's playing?". "Its NZ & Aus playing as Oceania with Vettori captained by McCullum against the ROW with Sangakarra and captaind by AB De Villiers in an ODI at the MCG". "Of Course" "Danny Morrison's commentating". "I'll give it a miss, need an early night - I'll just read the match summary and commentary on cricinfo tomorrow morning".

 

[Skyliner]

Aus 212/8 vs Essex.

 

[SteveNZ]

Ugh, the thought of day-night Test cricket with an old, raggy flat pink ball on an absolute road in Adelaide with the likes of Nicholas, Slater, Healy and co genuinely makes me want to throw up.

Another cricketing decision made completely against the good of the game, for $ not only in the day-night sense but the fact we're playing ball with Australia so big bro will hang out with us every summer.

Thankfully it'll be a quick fad that no self respecting Test player will want to play in, and crowds will vote with their feet on after being able to see FA of the ball past dusk.

 

[Antihippy]

"Clarkey goes big, gets all of it, just like that, all of it down his throat, cannot believe he has to go"

Was he commentating on clarkey's *** tape?

 

[Bahnz]

This might've been seen already, but Boult doesn't have a stress fracture and should be fine for the Australia series.

"Trent didn't suffer a fracture, but certainly had a stressed area in his back that will require rest before reconditioning and getting back into bowling work," Crocker told NZ Newswire.
"Corey's is slightly more severe in that a small crack was detected, not a full fracture. Because it's slightly more severe than Trent's, it requires a longer rehab programme."
Anderson and Boult are both expected to be ready for the tour of Australia which begins with the first Test in Brisbane on November 5.

Read more: McCullum, Boult and Anderson to miss Zimbabwe, South Africa tour | Sport | 3 News

 

[Skyliner]

Thanks Gob I am going to do an analysis for ****s and giggles that will upset the purists

I will give each player a score out of ten. And try to avoid what I personally feel about each player in terms of aesthetics etc.

D Warner 9
S Marsh 2
S Smith 9
M Clarke 10
A Voges 5
M Marsh 4
P Neville ??? 5
M Johnson 8
M Starc 8
J Hazlewood 7
N Lyon 7 in Australian conditions

Total team score = 74

New Zealand

Latham 6
Guptil 3
Kane 9
Ross 7 on current form
Brendon 7
Corey or Neesham 5
BJ 7
Craig 4
Henry/Wagner 3
Southee 9
Boult 9

Total 69

Mitch J could be in for a big revision in his rating, if he can't find his mojo.

 

[Furball]

Thanks Gob I am going to do an analysis for ****s and giggles that will upset the purists

I will give each player a score out of ten. And try to avoid what I personally feel about each player in terms of aesthetics etc.

D Warner 9
S Marsh 2
S Smith 9
M Clarke 10
A Voges 5
M Marsh 4
P Neville ??? 5
M Johnson 8
M Starc 8
J Hazlewood 7
N Lyon 7 in Australian conditions

Total team score = 74

New Zealand

Latham 6
Guptil 3
Kane 9
Ross 7 on current form
Brendon 7
Corey or Neesham 5
BJ 7
Craig 4
Henry/Wagner 3
Southee 9
Boult 9

Total 69

Southoe getting a 9 is hilarious.

 

[Howsie]

Oh hey it's that guy....

 

[CaptainGrumpy]

Craig is worth more than a 4 if he continues to bat well. His bowling average is misleading, he has won us 3.5 tests out of the ten he has played. He is doing his day 5 role quite well. Its his economy on days 1-3 that he needs to work on.

Southee is currently ranked in the top 10 test bowlers, so a 9 is not "ridiculous" but it is a bit high. Shouldn't be higher than Johnson, especially in Australia.

Will Johnson still be slow when playing in Australia? May not even be in the team by that stage depending on bad this Ashes in England goes for him.

 

[Bahnz]

I don't think Craig's average is misleading at all. He's not a very good bowler yet. He's a handy addition to the team in that he actually tries to spin the ball - and as you noted can perform the day 5 role quite nicely when in form. But equally he bowls mountains of rubbish far too often and has made significant contributions to a couple of losses (v WI in 2014 and v ENG at Lords - particularly on day 4 when he was really needed) to go along with his strong showings at Kingston, Dubai and Leeds.

 

[RossTaylorsBox]

Didn't realise Google Deep Dream had been around that long.

 

[Prince EWS]

I don't think Craig's average is misleading at all. He's not a very good bowler yet. He's a handy addition to the team in that he actually tries to spin the ball - and as you noted can perform the day 5 role quite nicely when in form. But equally he bowls mountains of rubbish far too often and has made significant contributions to a couple of losses (v WI in 2014 and v ENG at Lords - particularly on day 4 when he was really needed) to go along with his strong showings at Kingston, Dubai and Leeds.

I think it is a little bit. I basically agree with you but I do think his current ability is more that of a high-30s average bowler than a 40+ average bowler.