I will keep the same 30 and try and involve the Rock as he was there.
1&2 Wyatt and Harper - nothing happens
3 Bryan
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 Curtis Axel, Titus O'Neil, The Boogeyman, Sin Cara, Zack Ryder, Fandango, Tyson Kidd, Adam Rose - each appear every 90 seconds quickly being systematically eliminated in order by Wyatt and Harper leaving Bryan on his own most of the time in a 2-on-1 for over 15 mins. Bryan gets brutally beatdown but gets his spots against both men. D. Bryan eliminates Wyatt and Harper after a titanic underdog struggle just before the 12th entrant countdown.
Exhausted Bryan in a corner as Rusev's music hits.
1 min of back an forth before Rusev eliminates a clearly damaged and injured Bryan. Bryan is booked strong and as an underdog hero. Rusev stands center of a cleared ring.
Basically the Rumble now resets
Start to fill the ring and a few mins with no eliminations
13.R-Truth
14. Miz
15. Bubba Ray
16. Mizdow
17. Stardust
Mizdow and Miz square off. Mizdow eliminates Miz after Miz has eliminated R-Truth - obvious but the E likes the obvious.
18. Ziggler - nothing planned but some random eliminations and Ziggler being Ziggler and selling everything
19. Goldust
20. Kofi Kingston
21. Jack Swagger
REFILLING THE RING. General Rumble ****erage and the traditional Kofi spot
22. Big E
23 Ryback
Big E and Ryback tear into each other like it is 2013. Both are gassed and a double elimination with something powerful - see the above for the obvious
24 Reigns
25 Big Show
26 Kane
Kane and Big Show destroy Gold and Stardust
27 Dean Ambrose
Bubba Ray, Kofi, Swagger and Mizdow eliminated by this point
In the ring - Rusev. Ambrose, Big Show, Ziggler, Kane and Reigns
Reigns and Ambrose work together to eliminate Rusev while Big Show and Kane beat up Ziggler who has his usual dramatic escapes
28 Bad News Barrett
Ambrose eliminates Kane on his own
29 Cesaro
Barrett and Cesaro duel. Barrett eliminates Cesaro.
Ambrose and Ziggler work against Big Show
30 DDP - Does the yoga work?
Big pop. Diamond cutter on Barrett. Barrett then eliminated by Reigns. DDP destroyed by Big Show
Final 4
Ambrose, Ziggler, Big Show and Reigns
All 3 attack Reigns. Reigns gets hurt and is out of it as Ambrose, Ziggler and Big Show go at it. Big Show eliminates Ambrose and Ziggler as Reigns recovers. The two men square up to each other in the ring.
Reigns goes over lifting Big Show and tossing him, out of the ring - none of this distraction bull****. Big Show is irrelevant so having Reigns go over on him doesnt hurt anyone but he is still a legit giant booked strong by eliminating Ambrose and Ziggler.
The Rock comes out and hugs Reigns - The End
There, the best I can do off the top of my head while trying to stick loosely to the E's original narrative.