Ricky Ponting Poem

[Hurricane]

Ode to Hamish Bennett

Hamish stood at the top of his mark
He had been late to the game as he couldn't find a park

Hamish had once dismissed Ponting on an off day
Which had caused Dawood Ahmed much dismay

Who would be his next victim Sachin, Warner
or perhaps the real AB you say

With his trademark delivery stride that looks like a broken down horse
he would be on track to take a double hat trick on this day of course,

Before injury would strike and unjustly curtail the great man like a boxer's jab,
Never mind Hamish next time take a cab​

no rotten fruit please I am going with the standards of the thread.

 

[Dawood Ahmad]

Wwll, I can do way better in my langauge urdu but i don't like urdu neither i like the urdu accent so i use english accent for speaking English very well.

 

[Hurricane]

Wwll, I can do way better in my langauge urdu but i don't like urdu neither i like the urdu accent so i use english accent for speaking English very well.

You're doing just fine mate.

 

[Dawood Ahmad]

Ode to Hamish Bennett


Hamish had once dismissed Ponting on an off day
Which had caused Dawood Ahmed much dismay


​

.

Hamish, no body knows even name of him
But Ponting, there's great fame of him
​

 

[Hurricane]

Hamish, no body knows even name of him
But Ponting, there's great fame of him
​

Brilliant response. love it.

 

[OverratedSanity]

Hamish, no body knows even name of him
But Ponting, there's great fame of him
​

This is the greatest thing ever. OP is the 2nd greatest thing ever.

 

[Athlai]

To Anton Devcich,
Cricketweb thinks you are a ****
P.S. So is Blocky
​

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Ode to Mike Garnham

Mike Garnham
He's not from Farnham
Likes PT Barnum
Doesn't do much harm, mmm

Kept wicket
Played at cricket
Watched Lemony-Snicket
Born in a thicket

That last was a lie
Won't wear a tie
An ocean of cry
All over my thigh

Now retired
Likes 4x4s
Goes on tours
to Zambia

Now an architect
Possibly circumspect
Strange old dialect
Owns a marmoset?​

 

[Athlai]

Ode to Mike Garnham

Mike Garnham
He's not from Farnham
Likes PT Barnum
Doesn't do much harm, mmm

Kept wicket
Played at cricket
Watched Lemony-Snicket
Born in a thicket

That last was a lie
Won't wear a tie
An ocean of cry
All over my thigh

Now retired
Likes 4x4s
Goes on tours
to Zambia

Now an architect
Possibly circumspect
Strange old dialect
Owns a marmoset?​

I really like how it ends with a question. It really makes you think.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

I really like how it ends with a question. It really makes you think.

What emotions did it bring out in you? Did it make you consider looking up marmosets on wikipedia?

 

[Athlai]

Oddly enough I already knew what a Marmoset was. See the things they teach you in primary school do help in later life. I was able to consider the ramifications of his possession or dispossession of a marmoset immediately. The layered meaning giving context to the larger question of.... Just who is Mike Garnham?

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Oddly enough I already knew what a Marmoset was. See the things they teach you in primary school do help in later life. I was able to consider the ramifications of his possession or dispossession of a marmoset immediately. The layered meaning giving context to the larger question of.... Just who is Mike Garnham?

If I was to critique my poem through a harsh prism, it's that "strange old dialect" isn't quite right. Yes, he's from Johannesburg and has lived in Essex for about 30 years, but that'd give him a strange old accent, not dialect. I think that was a bit lazy of me. I know neither whether his dialect is standard or non-standard in comparison to either the Wivenhoe or the Johannesburg lingo.

 

[Smudge]

I must say all this poetry is giving me da wood.

 

[Daemon]

I really want a pygmy marmoset

 

[OverratedSanity]

He bats all day, taps all night,
And hooks and pulls with no fear,
He gets every ****ing shot right,
Yet nicks to the slips and the English cheer,

*Rap verse*

He's a batsman who makes runs for fun
When he twirls his bat, the Aussie c**** are done
Bashes MJ on his bum for fun
All scream in unison WAG!

*End rap verse*

When he bats even Bob Willis isn't bored
Coz he gives Aussie bowlers one big laat
He shows them the finger and says
Screw you Bitch, The name is Virat

*Repeat rap verse*
He's a batsman who makes runs for fun
When he twirls his bat, the Aussie c**** are done
Bashes MJ on his bum for fun
All scream in unison WAG!

​

 

[harsh.ag]

This is the pinnacle of CW along with the Best of Sean Fuller thread.

 

[Hurricane]

He bats all day, taps all night,
And hooks and pulls with no fear,
He gets every ****ing shot right,
Yet nicks to the slips and the English cheer,

*Rap verse*

He's a batsman who makes runs for fun
When he twirls his bat, the Aussie c**** are done
Bashes MJ on his bum for fun
All scream in unison WAG!

*End rap verse*

When he bats even Bob Willis isn't bored
Coz he gives Aussie bowlers one big laat
He shows them the finger and says
Screw you Bitch, The name is Virat

*Repeat rap verse*
He's a batsman who makes runs for fun
When he twirls his bat, the Aussie c**** are done
Bashes MJ on his bum for fun
All scream in unison WAG!

​

Wrong font minus 3 points
Lack of cheese factor minus 2 points
Suspicion of seriousness in the poem minus 2 points

What does taps all night mean btw - is that a batting reference or a gen Y reference to getting laid

 

[OverratedSanity]

Thread required a poem to deliver a truth bomb. You all can thank me.

 

[GIMH]

At night when I cuddle my teddy
I pretend it's my hero Freddie
He's a giant of a beast
I'd like to invite him for a feast
He is better than Imran Khan
Because he is more than twice the man
He is better than old man beefy
Don't agree? Then you're beneath me
He's superior to that bloke Sobers
Freddie's more like Roy of the Rovers
He's light years above Shaun Pollock
If you say he's not you're talking bollocks
He leaves in his wake Jacques Kallis
If you question me I'll **** you up with malice
And he's defo better than Dev, Kapil
Pretending he's not makes me ill
So come on Liz knight this man
Or you'll get an infraction from Dan

 

[Hurricane]

At night when I cuddle my teddy
I pretend it's my hero Freddie
He's a giant of a beast
I'd like to invite him for a feast
He is better than Imran Khan
Because he is more than twice the man
He is better than old man beefy
Don't agree? Then you're beneath me
He's superior to that bloke Sobers
Freddie's more like Roy of the Rovers
He's light years above Shaun Pollock
If you say he's not you're talking bollocks
He leaves in his wake Jacques Kallis
If you question me I'll **** you up with malice
And he's defo better than Dev, Kapil
Pretending he's not makes me ill
So come on Liz knight this man
Or you'll get an infraction from Dan

Brilliant. Massive LOL