Okay, so I’ve stepped away from the computer for a bit to lower my blood pressure.
It’s pretty easy to sit here behind my keyboard and mouth off, but here’s my best monkeys take on it with our best copy of Microsoft Word, player by player.
McCullum isn’t stupid. He knew last night that losing a wicket is the last thing we wanted, just like on day 1 he knew we weren’t in a position where we could afford a batsman to throw it all away. One thing I have noticed, along with the need to feel bat on ball early that the commentators mention all the time which betrays a lack of confidence early in his innings, is he has to remind himself to respect good bowling, or at least that’s how it looks to me when I watch him. Jayawardene and Sangakkara have respected 10,000 good balls before and will respect 10,000 more. It’s ingrained into how they bat. I don’t know whether his dominance of age group cricket has given him no appreciation of respect for the bowler, or whether his role as a wicket keeper batsman curtailed his batting development earlier in his career, or whether it’s arrogance. He tries to bat like the second coming of Viv or Gilchrist but even they blocked ocassionally. McCullum has neither the ingrained ability to respect the bowler nor the execution of those two batsmen. His technique is actually pretty decent but when it comes to actually batting he’s the second coming of McMillan. At his age he probably doesn’t have the time to change his ways so it might be worth telling him to get out there and pretend to be Sehwag minus the sucking in NZ thing.
I admire Guptill’s determination to be a good batsman. It’s obvious from his actions he really wants it, but he isn’t and never was good enough for test cricket as things currently stand. He’s good enough to pick up one half century per series but a combination of glaring technical faults, poor shot selection and never dominating any level of professional cricket in the whites for an extended period has both denied him the time to tweak his game and learn how to construct an innings. He’s a decent ODI batsman, a world class fielder, and if he was dropped he would probably take domestic attacks to the cleaners, especially on his home ground aka the roadiest road that ever roaded. Test cricket isn’t the place to learn how to bat though.
Williamson has no confidence, or at least that’s what I guess is behind the poking and prodding. As Howsie said earlier he’s a shadow of his former self. I was hoping his century against South Africa would be the making of him but it obviously hasn’t. Confidence isn’t something that can be solved by scoring another 284* for ND (he failed in Australia right after), especially since everyone including him knows NZ FC =/= test cricket, so really I’ve got nothing for him other than faking it until you make it.
Taylor must surely be weighed down by responsibility. Fans, the opposition, his team and Taylor himself know he is the wicket, especially with no Ryder or Vettori. Unlike Chanderpaul, Taylor wasn’t given the opportunity to get comfortable in test cricket alongside Brian Lara before becoming both the captain and the big wicket. I’m going to speculate this is the reason behind Taylor being edgy early, then either scoring really fast with high risk shots or really slowly. This is an issue that can only be solved by batting with better batsmen, so um, move to South Africa I guess?
Daniel Flynn looks like a test batsman nowadays, and his only issue is milestones, both personal and match related. Just needs to chill out and bat in a bubble and he will be fine.
Franklin is Franklin. I cbf even starting on this one. Suffice to say the next test will probably be his last.
So yeah in a groundbreaking discovery, we basically need to pick the least flawed batsmen. Looking outside the squad, Ryder is an obvious candidate, because his issues are all off field. Brownlie is an excellent player of fast bowling but we won’t know how good he is against test standard spin until he faces some again. Batting higher in the order, maybe even opening, will help him avoid starting against spin especially in home tests. I wouldn’t mind him trying his hand at opening for Canterbury in their next game (especially since they've got Fulton there). I really haven’t seen enough of Watling mk II in the whites to say anything but he is easily our most improved ODI player and is willing to do anything required of him to the best of his ability, and that earns him Phlegm Points.