Round 1, Battle 4
Michael Clarke (Australia)
Crimes:
- Repeatedly getting himself in a bingle
- Skipping a Test match because Lara picked a special time to go ape****
- Getting his priorities wrong according to Simon Katich
-
Call me, maybe?
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Telling the world Steve Smith is a dateless wonder
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Bump.
'Michael Clarke will be fine.' - Michael Clarke, on the topic of Michael Clarke
'I'll take dog, I've been called worse so dog's a compliment.' - Clarke sick of his Pup nickname
'You don't have to be Einstein to figure out that it's not just the selectors who had a part in sending me on my way.' - Simon Katich has strangler's remorse
'It's not the first time Michael Clarke has given up chasing Lara.' - Jim Maxwell after Clarke declared on 329*
'Maybe my address has changed and I have a few more tattoos than as a kid, but I think the person inside is still exactly the same.' - Clarke explaining that being a **** is incurable
Sourav Ganguly (India)
Crimes:
- Poncy ****
- Getting his feelings broken by Greg Chappell
- Deliberate time-wasting by being late to the toss as a 'psychological ploy'
- Relaxing on a chair while watching his team-mates train their arses off
'He was a prick, frankly, and that's paying him a compliment.' - Steve Waugh
'You can imagine the the character of a person who within hours of a truce goes and writes such an e-mail.' - Ganguly on Greg Chappell
'I can guarantee that in 125 of his 134 matches he went to shower just before the batsman ahead of him went in.' - Ganguly dishes the, uh, lack of dirt on Laxman
'How many effigies have been burned during Ganguly's career? So many that he must be the only cricketer who can be measured in his negative effect on global warming.' - The Guardian
Shahid Afridi (Pakistan)
Crimes:
- It would
seam that he's
hungry to win
- As captain, managing to piss off his team enough to fix matches to make him look bad
-
Ripping Gambhir for dedicating the World Cup semi-final win to Mumbai terrorist attack victims
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Continuing the fan-attacking tradition of Pakistan captains
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Doing the mash, the monster mash (0:35)
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'Credit goes to Abdul Qadir. He teach me a lot, and he really gives a good time.' - Afridi is hot for teacher
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'There's a thing going on with the players. A lot of the boys want to **** up Afridi because he is trying to **** up things for them and he's the captain of the Twenty20 and one-day (side). They all want Butt to be captain.' - Undercover journalist at a court hearing, according to Richard Sydenham
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'I was just trying to help the bowler. There is no team in the world that doesn't tamper with the ball but my approach was wrong.' - It's easier to just use a bottle top, Shahid
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'Besides myself, the rest of the coaching staff has worked very hard with him to improve his abilities as a long-term and successful captain but sometimes his volatile and immature nature have proved detrimental and led to unfortunate outcomes including game losses.' - Waqar Younis
