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***Official*** New Zealand in Australia 2011

Zinzan

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Offer a million dollar a year contract to anybody who can bowl 155km/h
All joking aside, they should go around to schools with speed guns to identify potential cricketers & set up an academy for those with promise, They need to be competing with rugby & basketball for these young tall athletic types.
 

straw man

Hall of Fame Member
For the record, I don't think any New Zealanders were ****y. We, quite rightly, thought this was our best chance in forever. And we completely **** the bed.
Agree with this... unless you count Flem with his strange anti-reverse-upside-down-jinx (it didn't work).

The match was a tug of war between two flawed teams in which we slowly got more and more behind, before crumbling after Ryder dropped Clarke yesterday. Two prime reasons for slipping behind were the class of Ponting and Clarke, and the collection of WTF moments we put together. I don't just mean 'bad', like Ryder's and McCullum's first innings dismissals. I mean WTF as in basic things that no team should be doing wrong at this level.

I count 5 by us while the match was still on (Guptill first innings dismissal, Taylor first innings dismissal, Bracewell no-ball wicket, Young dropping Clarke, Taylor dropping Starc).

Australia I thought were relatively generous in giving us two similar moments while bowling (Clarke dropping Brownlie, Starc missing Vettori catch). But crucially, NONE while batting.
 

Zinzan

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There's no good reason that we shouldn't be able produce more fast bowlers, we're not genetically that much different than Aussies & the English are we?
 

Flem274*

123/5
Offer a million dollar a year contract to anybody who can bowl 155km/h
Offer a two million dollar contract to any batsman who can not throw it away for three days.
All joking aside, they should go around to schools with speed guns to identify potential cricketers & set up an academy for those with promise, They need to be competing with rugby & basketball for these young tall athletic types.
A 100pc bucket of KFC for any batsman who faces 400 balls in an innings.
The sad thing is our joking ideas are probably better than anything NZC can come up with.:ph34r:

Do we even have a CEO yet?
 

KiWiNiNjA

International Coach
All joking aside, they should go around to schools with speed guns to identify potential cricketers & set up an academy for those with promise, They need to be competing with rugby & basketball for these young tall athletic types.
By they you mean long legged, busty blondes in bikinis, right?

Telling the youngsters how cricketers get all the chicks, and how rugby players can't get it up because 80% of them get rucknutitis.
 

Bahnz

Hall of Fame Member
In truth, there's just not enough money in domestic cricket. You can't realistically hope to entice talented young athletes into the sport if their domestic safety net is only $50,000 a year.

But beyond the money issue, it's really a culture thing. Kids all around the country are encouraged to start playing rugby as soon as they can walk, whereas cricket's only seen as a bit of backyard fun in the 6 weeks of the year between the northern hemisphere rugby tours and the start of the super 15.
 

Zinzan

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By they you mean long legged, busty blondes in bikinis, right?

Telling the youngsters how cricketers get all the chicks, and how rugby players can't get it up because 80% of them get rucknutitis.
Whatever works ....
 

NZTailender

I can't believe I ate the whole thing
There's no good reason that we shouldn't be able produce more fast bowlers, we're not genetically that much different than Aussies & the English are we?
1. Stop all the talented cricketers ending up in rugby.
2. Have a decent investment in the academy and coaching staff to develop the talent.
3. Don't let them practice indoors on concrete for ****s sake
 

Flem274*

123/5
By they you mean long legged, busty blondes in bikinis, right?

Telling the youngsters how cricketers get all the chicks, and how rugby players can't get it up because 80% of them get rucknutitis.
Do you like the looks of this lads?



Or would you prefer to look like this?



If the former



Spend your summer outside in the sun, get free lunch and tea every day during the match, and win games of cricket.

If you're keen for glory, sign today!*

*must be able to bat and bowl better than what we usually put out to apply
 

straw man

Hall of Fame Member
There is no point in dropping any of the eleven players we selected for this match.

Wright needs to somehow instil some professionalism in the guys we've got.
 

Furball

Evil Scotsman
Taylor chatting some absolute bollocks.

Pretty sure if I was Vettori I'd love nothing more than to actually come in when things aren't cluster****ed.
 

Athlai

Not Terrible
Taylor chatting some absolute bollocks.

Pretty sure if I was Vettori I'd love nothing more than to actually come in when things aren't cluster****ed.
Was it Nasser Hussain that said he liked coming in when it was shambles because there was less pressure to score?
 

Flem274*

123/5
Taylor chatting some absolute bollocks.

Pretty sure if I was Vettori I'd love nothing more than to actually come in when things aren't cluster****ed.
I don't have the stats to back me up, but I'm pretty sure Vettori's record in dire situations is >>> than his record in good ones.
 

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